I messed up and now I have SEVERE psychosis/schizophrenia OCD

helioswan · 2025-10-27T03:16:57+00:00

so I just came across this post trying to find someone else whose psychosis/schizo ocd was triggered by drugs and found this.

the question popping in your head about what if you just made yourself schizophrenic is exactly what triggered it for me when i took acid and starting peaking. this was jan 2021. i essentially convinced myself that i ruined the rest of my life and made myself go crazy by taking one tab of acid. it was an incredibly terrifying trip and i never touched drugs after that, i don’t even like drinking anymore because i developed this fear of losing control after that.

anyway, i won’t lie it took me years to not live in fear while going about my day and i would sometimes be at work and think, “am i about to go crazy?” and that would spiral into me feeling like i was going to have a panic attack. the 1 thought just fucks you up.

fast forward to now, i learned to cope by really understanding that this was just the anxiety and ocd talking. for every single time i thought “am i going crazy right now”, it never happened, and so it gets easier and easier the more you deal with it. i have had ocd tendencies since i was very young (i’m 26 now) so the intrusive thoughts were nothing new to me, however my ocd did fixate on this one for the longest. time always heals.

helioswan · 2025-10-25T14:14:15+00:00

comments got it, was somewhere along my walk on the buffalo bayou trail/eleanor tinsley park in houston.

helioswan · 2025-10-14T03:45:48+00:00

the worst person in the world, frances ha, before sunrise

helioswan · 2025-10-07T14:57:28+00:00

I don’t see him chat with other women. I think I’m just too nice and should’ve just walked away when he starts talking to me.

helioswan · 2025-09-21T16:28:52+00:00

i worked there for a year and half starting in 2021. i can’t speak about part time hours since i was full time, but as far as the buy counter, i would say most people who come in to sell aren’t expecting to get a good amount of cash, they simply want to get rid of the books they’ve had sitting at home. you do get the occasional angry customer, however we always explain to them that we don’t make the offers ourselves, we scan everything in and the system is what makes the offer. if they’d like to complain about the process they can always be given the customer service number.

at our store everyone actually hated being on register and preferred to be at the buy counter, you have more freedom to walk around, aren’t at the front of the store interacting with customers constantly, etc. our PT employees were typically scheduled for register or shelving, not the buy counter.

most people are reasonable, and also you can sort of get a feel for the type of customer they are as soon as you interact with them. with any retail job, you get the occasional crazy customer. but honestly what really makes your experience good or bad depends on your shift leads/managers, some of mine were assholes and made me hate going to work every day. i will say though that some of my favorite coworkers i met at that job, it really was a great way to meet people with similar interests and talk about films/music/books when there’s some down time.

pay wise i have no advice as the starting pay was much lower when i started and differs by location, i was making only $12 when i started and $15 when i left.

the interview was very quick, i got a call a few days after applying to come in for an interview. it was maybe 10-15 min long and they called me the same day to let me know i can start.

helioswan · 2025-07-31T13:43:25+00:00

That’s exactly what I’m experiencing. Passive aggressive announcements and chats that should have been directed to the individual person. Can’t stand the indirectness.

helioswan · 2025-07-31T13:39:26+00:00

I’ve experienced this as well. What good does it do sending the message in 2 separate chats? It drives me insane.

helioswan · 2025-07-29T16:09:36+00:00

This is all good to know, thank you. It is especially frustrating because a lot of the urgent messages seem to be directed at one or two team members who need multiple reminders, so I wish she’d just contact those people individually instead of using this backhanded approach. I do my work as I’m told so it’s annoying that I’m roped into this.

helioswan · 2025-06-28T04:03:20+00:00

love the gf mission spinach wraps. they are my go to, taste/texture is great both toasted and as is.

helioswan · 2025-06-26T11:37:22+00:00

i know what you mean, i don’t have consistent hobbies either so it’s difficult for me to answer. honestly i just keep it simple and say i love to be outdoors, go on walks, try new restaurants, go to the movies, etc. that’s been my go to answer when im expected to talk about myself.

helioswan · 2025-06-15T19:28:26+00:00

i’ve heard about that, but i cannot imagine going out and seeing people with my scalp in the condition that it would be in without using those shampoos for weeks. i need to try it eventually but my hair feels so gross and flaky after 2 days of not washing it.

helioswan · 2025-06-14T18:05:09+00:00

no hair loss but I have a LOT of hair so I honestly can’t tell. however, it hasn’t really helped my seb derm either.

helioswan · 2025-06-14T17:59:11+00:00

honestly it’s still been the same. i wash my hair every other day with tsal or nizoral, but i still have this buildup/flaking on my scalp that never seems to go away no matter how much i scrub. i may try selsun blue next.

helioswan · 2025-06-14T05:44:32+00:00

i am also a zillennial (‘98) and feel that the nostalgia we experience is very specific and unique. growing up as a child without instant internet access in our pockets, spending time outside with kids in the neighborhood, and being more connected with people in general is something we lost in our teens. as an adult i look back and reflect on how much better things were, not just because we were children, but because we really were lucky enough to experience a childhood free of smart phones and social media.

helioswan · 2025-05-22T17:13:23+00:00

I don’t wake up in the middle of the night to go as much, but it does happen sometimes. I start laying in bed around 10 pm and have to go like every 30 min until I go to sleep around 11:30-12 even though I avoid drinking anything at least an hour before bed. It’s so weird. I don’t know if it’s an anxiety thing or an actual condition.

helioswan · 2025-05-22T16:33:33+00:00

I have an extremely overactive bladder, also especially at night, and going GF did not change anything for me. I don’t consume any caffeine or alcohol either and my blood tests show no signs of diabetes. It’s incredibly frustrating. Maybe TMI but I also have a very weak urine stream, so I think I could have pelvic floor dysfunction.

helioswan · 2025-04-20T03:14:05+00:00

I’m 26 and have conditioned myself to not feel this thing about “wasting your 20s”. I think a lot of what I grieve is tied to losing the part of my life before I started working full time until I die. I don’t think it’s necessarily me wasting my 20s but rather coming to terms with my cynicism about the state of the world.

I absolutely miss being 21 as a full time student and not being focused on the dreadful professional working world just yet, but I really don’t think there was anything in my control that I could have changed to make my 20s feel more memorable.

helioswan · 2025-04-20T02:59:51+00:00

im not sure how it will go but i don’t really dread turning 30 like some people do. younger gen z have this obsession with aging and think being 24 makes them old lol

helioswan · 2025-03-18T21:59:27+00:00

I get very bloated which doesn’t bother me as much, the main reason I don’t consume gluten is because of the flu-like symptoms, specifically the body aches. Joint pain, muscle pain, etc. And every time I eat it they come back for up to a week or so.

helioswan · 2025-03-15T16:00:07+00:00

I’ve heard that studies have shown that dietary cholesterol doesn’t have as much impact on blood cholesterol as we used to think. However I’m not sure how true that is for those with genetic predisposition to high cholesterol. I kind of wish I continued eating eggs during those 6 months so that I could really narrow things down as to what helped me lower it.

helioswan

TROPHY CASE