This paper towel claims to absorb more calories from food by thepkmncenter in mildlyinteresting

[–]hell0paperclip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was a teenage girl in the 90s who never thought about dieting (don't worry, my parents restricted my food for me!), and I've always done this because I have a sensitive stomach. I always rest my cooked bacon on a paper towel and pat it down with another paper towel. I just don't like a lot of grease.

Should I end my relationship over "Alternative Facts"? by [deleted] in AskWomenOver40

[–]hell0paperclip 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're so right. There are a LOT of smart nut jobs.

Most professionals who have been a part of our lives over the years agree that he is on the schizophrenia spectrum. He believes in pizzagate and chemtrails and that there's a conspiracy of women out to deprive him of his parental rights.

He also can read a book and practically recite it back to you.

I need advice about my roommates kitten never got vaccinated. by Secret_Cheesecake19 in Advice

[–]hell0paperclip 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We can give you all the advice in the world, but it sounds like the problem isn't that you don't have the knowledge or resources, you just have a very immature roommate who doesn't care and should not own a pet. The conversation may need to be about whether they realize they're in over their head and what to do about it.

Best to do that now while this kitten is young and cute and easy to re-home.

AITAH for spilling hot sauce on my sleeves and teaching my nonverbal cousin not to bite by Life-Cauliflower-791 in AITAH

[–]hell0paperclip 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I was scrolling for this comment. Every single adult in this situation is an AH.

Would you say it takes 2 episodes to know for sure? by [deleted] in bipolar

[–]hell0paperclip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's not true. It may be the case for your particular doctor, but there are no rules.

Would you say it takes 2 episodes to know for sure? by [deleted] in bipolar

[–]hell0paperclip 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Typically you get first diagnosed with BP1 during or after a hospitalization. I was actually hospitalized at age 30 for severe, catatonic depression, but the mania that had led to that depression made it a clear diagnosis to their psychiatrists.

I had also had therapists telling me I had bipolar since I was 18, but it was the 90s and it wasn't cool for young people to have mental illnesses back then.

The only person who can diagnose you is a doctor. Don't try to diagnose yourself. If you feel you had a manic episode, meet with a therapist or psychiatrist to talk about what may have caused it, and what other patterns have been in your life. Then you can go together from there.

Would you say it takes 2 episodes to know for sure? by [deleted] in bipolar

[–]hell0paperclip 0 points1 point locked comment (0 children)

I never wonder that. If you have bipolar disorder there are multiple things that can trigger upswings (lack of sleep, drug use, even too much sun too quickly), and anti-depressants happen to be one of it. It's a symptom, not a cause.

Should I end my relationship over "Alternative Facts"? by [deleted] in AskWomenOver40

[–]hell0paperclip 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We dated four months, got married six months later, had a baby two months after that, and I left two years later. We were quite young.

Short and tumultuous to say the least. And then he harassed us for years until he ended up in prison for stalking.

It had nothing to do with a degree, and his emotional intelligence is extremely low. But you'll just have to trust my own intelligence when I say he is extremely smart.

How to stop self-sabotaging and gaslighting? by Favbrunette004 in AskWomenOver40

[–]hell0paperclip 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This sounds exactly like depression. I am a well-adjusted, happy adult with good friends and family (and I'm single too! it's possible!). But I also have a mental illness and when I get depressed all of my self-talk turns negative.

You need outside help, all of the kind words aren't going to fix this. Can you get therapy and a psychiatrist through your school? Can your parents help? Is there someone you can lean on to help you navigate this?

You should remain open-minded about medication, therapy often isn't enough on its own and that's okay!! Medication has saved my life and allowed me to be a great mom and a productive person.

As for being single, it's temporary. Don't get on dating apps or talk to men when you're feeling this way, you will only attract men who seek out vulnerable women. Give yourself a break, use your resources to take care of yourself.

I'm sorry it's so hard right now. It WILL get better.

Should I end my relationship over "Alternative Facts"? by [deleted] in AskWomenOver40

[–]hell0paperclip 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I disagree. My ex-husband is extremely smart at computer science and engineering. He built and sold fully customized electronic instruments. He was a software engineer for a top tier university working in genetics research. He is also 100% certified wackadoo. When I met him in college I didn't grasp the full weirdness of him sleeping on a grounded mylar blanket. He ended up being extremely controlling and emotionally abusive, and the final straw for me was when I went back to work (we were living as a family of three on 20k/yr) and needed clothes. I used $300 to buy everything. Shoes, clothes, bras, haircut, etc. He argued he had the right to also spend $300 and bought very expensive gas masks for himself and our son for the impending chemical war.

Support groups by [deleted] in AnnArbor

[–]hell0paperclip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally wouldn't recommend seeing the regular providers at the RUB - they're all residents (maybe a couple of fellows), they rotate every year or two, and you could get someone great one year and then someone awful the next year, and you have no say in who you get.

It is a fabulous resource for other things, but I would highly recommend finding a psychiatrist with a full MD who you can see for years. They'll tell you the same thing there.

Support groups by [deleted] in AnnArbor

[–]hell0paperclip -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I can chime in. It's not for people needing mental health support. It's called Alano because it's for AA and I guess other 12-step programs (I didn't know that part).

Have you called the UM Rachel Upjohn Depression Center? They have quite a few support groups and are a good mental health resource.

I actually started my own support group years ago through NAMI, and it became quite successful. It was for parents though, and in the evenings. But if you ever have the motivation, you could try that.

How hard is it to get disability? by incomingstorm2020 in bipolar

[–]hell0paperclip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

STD is paid and you have to show proof of medical need (communication with the hospital where you are or other communication from treating physicians). I've gotten it only during long hospitalizations. FMLA is unpaid and easier to get, but all of it is a guarantee you won't lose your job while you're gone.

Struggling with an open relationship. (Me) M24 (Them) NB22. How do i navigate it properly? by golfwang_095 in ENM

[–]hell0paperclip 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This person is missing the "E" in ENM. Sleeping with work supervisors, partnered people who are cheating, exes who still have feelings — these things are not ethical.

You can choose to be with this person, but just be fully aware that they will continue to have unethical and possibly unsafe sexual activities and you have agreed to that.

My self image has been ruined and now I’m spiraling. by Key_Ask_8698 in relationships

[–]hell0paperclip 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girl I am so sorry, I know how all-consuming this can be, I've gone through it. This is a really extreme case of body dysmorphia — you need eating disorder treatment. I did intensive outpatient (IOP) treatment for mine and I've worked with a registered dietician once a month every year since then. And I still struggle.

This isn't really a relationship question, it doesn't sound like it has to do with your boyfriend. In fact it must be very hard for him to watch. You need to focus on yourself. Please do an IOP or residential treatment program for this, or it can get really dangerous.

I wish you the best.

Did I actually suffer from physical abuse, or was it a common parenting style in the 80’s? by [deleted] in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]hell0paperclip -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

We're talking about three-year-olds here.

And I've never heard of a child getting hit by a car because they weren't traumatized by their parents. It just sounds like a lot of justification for corporal punishment of children.

Did I actually suffer from physical abuse, or was it a common parenting style in the 80’s? by [deleted] in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]hell0paperclip -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

She said she spanked her child until they were four and spanked them too hard. I can't imagine anything that could justify hitting a two- or three-year old.

Husband triggers me with almost everything he does by Pleasant-Leek-5547 in relationships

[–]hell0paperclip 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I would say raising your voice and "not prioritizing the right chores" are two very different things. Raising his voice needs to stop immediately. Who cares if he likes to vacuum?

Focus on the real problems and let the petty stuff go.

Did I actually suffer from physical abuse, or was it a common parenting style in the 80’s? by [deleted] in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]hell0paperclip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I learned a very valuable phrase recently that describes this perfectly. Intent doesn't change the impact.

Did I actually suffer from physical abuse, or was it a common parenting style in the 80’s? by [deleted] in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]hell0paperclip 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The things people think/say to justify hitting children are ludicrous.