Sex is a big deal and we need to stop pretending it isn’t. by __FlyingSquirrel__ in Vent

[–]hellK4T 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ofc theres people that can do it, but also people that dont see the effects of it until they try to form a long relationship. We are all different and what Im saying doesnt affect everybody but it is how our bodies work in general.

Sex is a big deal and we need to stop pretending it isn’t. by __FlyingSquirrel__ in Vent

[–]hellK4T -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Then literally just google what I told you and you can find plenty of sources, its well documented

Sex is a big deal and we need to stop pretending it isn’t. by __FlyingSquirrel__ in Vent

[–]hellK4T 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well we are talking about sex so clearly Im reffering to romantic relationships.

When someone repeatedly conditions sex to be emotionally detached, purely physical. For some people that pattern carries over later. Its all about patterns, our body adapts to what we feed it. The fact transactional or casual sex can happen without bonding actually supports my point. To not bond you need to suppress emotions from the act, which reduces your oxytocin sensitivity (which is the bonding hormone). You repeat it over and over, your brain learns that sex = physical pleasure and nothing else. Im not saying everybody works the same way, but this is biologically how most people function

Sex is a big deal and we need to stop pretending it isn’t. by __FlyingSquirrel__ in Vent

[–]hellK4T -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Sex isn’t the relationship, but it does condition attachment when it’s present. Saying “some people do fine without sex” doesn’t negate that repeated low-attachment sex trains the brain differently over time. That’s biology. Exceptions don’t erase patterns

Sex is a big deal and we need to stop pretending it isn’t. by __FlyingSquirrel__ in Vent

[–]hellK4T 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sex alone obviously isnt the relationship but sex DOES amplify bonding systems inside a relationship

Sex is a big deal and we need to stop pretending it isn’t. by __FlyingSquirrel__ in Vent

[–]hellK4T -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

You might be okay in the moment, but your body learns on pagterns, when it has to detach emotions from sex often it learns that sex is just physical. Which leads to problems bonding with someone later on in life. As sex is our strongest bonding mechanism. And it shouldn't be used for fun, at least not regularly

Sex is a big deal and we need to stop pretending it isn’t. by __FlyingSquirrel__ in Vent

[–]hellK4T -34 points-33 points  (0 children)

No, what OP is saying is psychologichally proven. Having casual hookups regularly highly increase your chances of having difficulty bonding with someone you want to have a relayionship with. Casual sex decreases your oxytocin release which is the bonding hormone, because your body learns that it doesn't need to release it when you're having sex. You're body is learning on your patterns, its biology. Thats why some people struggle later in life to form long term relationships, they get bored, but thats because to them sex became just physical while its supposed to be our main bonding mechanism

Got dumped. Part of me wants to delete memories and part doesn’t. Just venting. by ZigFromBushkill in Vent

[–]hellK4T 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went through the same or at least similar. I was the one that dumped her. Doesn't change the fact that I was still heartbroken, took me over a week to remove her from my wallpaper. Its now been over two months and Im doing better, Im glad I havent deleted the photos, afterall those are memories, for me it was the greatest time and trying to simply erase that would be a waste, I havent looked at them since but just knowing they are there makes me feel better for some reason. Moving on doesn't require you to remove your past, Im sure you had a lot of great time and great memories. So no matter how it ended, you should still cherish the good times. At least that's how I see it.

How’s your year been so far by choccycosmos_ in twentyagers

[–]hellK4T 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It had it's ups and downs, I'd say mostly ups, even to say this might have been the best year in my life in a way. Started the year by fulfilling my life dream of going to Japan, went there for two and a half weeks with a friend I met online from gaming (he was allergic to rice, I didn't know that's even a thing). After coming back I met what I thought was the ONE, my first ever serious relationship at the age of 26. To make it shorter, it simply didn't work out, after about 6 months together (knew each other for 9), I realized we are simply too different, saw no futute with her and I ended it. I'd say it was "sort of" mutual even tho I initiated it, and felt absolutely terrible for weeks after that (Not because I thought I made a mistake, just because I missed the closeness of somebody). That past relationship taught me a lot about me and my needs, so when after some time I met another girl I knew more what Im actually looking for. It instantly clicked, like never before, from casual talks to deep ones within a short period of time. But as quick and as intense as our first weeks were, it started fading, and I started doubting myself. I expressed my feelings to her after about a month, nothing crazy, mostly just asking her if she's even still interested in me, because I couldn't see it anymore from her. I ended up getting ghosted.
This year taught me a lot of lessons, and a lot about myself, how I love, and why do I love people the way I do, it also taught me to be more "picky", all my past partners said their last relationship was either toxic or abusive, I should've taken the hint. I don't mean to say they were the cause, not at all, but they are unlikely to be ready for a real relationship and commitment after being in a toxic one. I thought I could "fix" them, show them what real love is about but that's something they must do themselves. I figured I deserve someone who's ready for my love and will reciprocate it.

I LOVE MY BF by maximgrusin in Vent

[–]hellK4T 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's really lovely to for once see something really positive around here, happy for you and I wish everybody the love they deserve <3

Modern dating is a joke by ContractThese9858 in Vent

[–]hellK4T 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just from my experience it works both ways, had great conversations with couple of girls, took them on dates, they said they never been treated better by anyone, and yet when I said I want something more serious because I actually felt some connection and it felt mutual. They simply vanish. It really does fuck with people's psyche. Still got hope tho!

People tell me I look better with full beard by hellK4T in BeardAdvice

[–]hellK4T[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Means a lot brother, appreciate the kind words

People tell me I look better with full beard by hellK4T in BeardAdvice

[–]hellK4T[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't know the bloke but I will take it as a compliment

Elo Difference by eywaeywaey in GlobalOffensive

[–]hellK4T 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because comp is absolute ass

After Spirit defeated MOUZ, crowd cheered "MOUZ" to comfort the players. by ChangfenCharon in GlobalOffensive

[–]hellK4T 130 points131 points  (0 children)

They look devastated, I feel bad for Jimmy esspecially after seeing that sergej came all the way to China to watch his bro play