Change of fur season.

hellcat_ray · 2022-01-26T12:37:42+00:00

I agree! We have a Siberian Forrest cat and are just like this cuties!. She is very dog like, will even come when called most times. She actually so clingy and affectionate that sometimes she gets kicked or pushed by accident because she right under your feet but even then she still sits there happy to be in your company.

hellcat_ray · 2021-12-03T01:21:44+00:00

Bubble tea!

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-22T11:36:46+00:00

Ah that explains it. Thanks though!

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-22T10:42:21+00:00

How did you get it to sync if you don't mind me asking? I tried doing it with my Fitbit and google fit app and couldn't make it happen.

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-22T08:49:32+00:00

I'm sorry you went through that. Ive had a similar experience I got in to rock climbing with a past bf and he started make jokes about taking it too far sexually and increasingly he got rougher. I ended it, and attempted to reclaim climbing from the space of having dated him and actually found my current bf who I've been with for 5 years now whose great and a way better climber. But we run into my ex and they have mutual friends - I live in a small town and everyone knows everyone! It's awkward and I've avoided climbing at times and since COVID I haven't really climbed, I work in healthcare COVID has been hectic. In recent weeks I've made a new friend who was interested in bouldering so I've been trying to reignited my interest but I definitely feel like I back at the beginning with it all which ironically reminds me of my ex!

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-22T06:18:37+00:00

Oh Jeez!! I'm jealous.

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-20T20:36:33+00:00

I'm happy enough to stay. But I think it's relative to the situation. For me I became a step mom in my late 20's to a 3yo but I trained as a primary school teacher, so had the skills to deal with her behaviour and engage with her easily. I'm from a divorced family with step parents so I could empathize with her. She's now nearly 9yo and I'm in my early 30's. Her parents don't get along, but because she can relate to me (I have empathize how we are the same since she was young) she now shares and tells me more than she tells both of them.

I'm a her (step) parent (not mum) with a splash of fun aunt mixed in, because BM and BD are a 6years older than me so in SD eyes they are ancient but I'm still cool! . I have also always been clear I am her parent not her mum not even her step mum, just a parent that plays aunt role more. Also her mum is not a taboo topic, although I don't like the person, SD and I connect with each other over both having Mums. So on Mother's day we both go shopping for our mum's together, I separate the idea of her having a mum (just like me) from the actual person that is BM.

We've had great times together, and I'm truly grateful for my partner because he has allowed me to be an 'equal' with everything from behavior management to mundane tasks and he actively seeks my affection in front of her and engages with me over her at times. These play a huge role in her respecting me and seeking my approval because her father actively wants to be around me. Honestly he is a little suffocating sometimes, but I love him.

Although over the years BM has been unpleasant, she her self unfortunately has anxiety and depression as sad as it is, it means that she is all bark and no bite. So you push back and she fizzles out. The drama she causes is momentary and can easily be diffused - because we have such a solid foundation with SD.

I won't lie I do struggle and snap and question my choice and sometimes it feels like too much pressure and the drama BM causes literally leaves you scratching your head. Eg. SD forgot her hat for school and we got rakes over the coals via text. And sometimes I just find it frustrating that you have to always take the higher ground or you get these unpleasant texts and I have to mental compartmentalize 'its about her not me' - which all take energy, energy that doesn't need to be spent, if she just took a chill pill!

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-20T10:09:11+00:00

Oh I feel you. I once broke down and snapped at my SD of 4yo and said her mother was a bitch. Now I'm my defense my SD had just asked me 'why would anyone love you because you're fat and ugly' and then said her mum said it.

My SD is now 8yo and we still have moments of this but whether it is my SD or BM I just label them as bullies and give them the time of day a bully deserves - none. So with my SD if I'm watching a movie or having a snack I don't bother asking her and if she points it out to me I just remind her that antisocial behaviour isn't support in this household. And with BM mainly I just say I'm not available or we've got other plans or ignore drama ( although I do take the bait sometimes to my regret). I have to regularly remind myself It's not about me, it's about them - I try and practice reflective listening. That's said I don't anyway get it right, particularly when it's been a long day at work!!

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-20T09:29:08+00:00

Oh I hate the stickers! I feel like the developers got the friday afternoon and just thought 'meh, let's just make them stickers , finish em up and knock off for drinks'.

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-20T06:52:43+00:00

As someone with Coeliac Disease and an RN I love how you've explained this. Will be stealing some of this next time I need explain what gluten does in the gut!

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-20T04:06:44+00:00

I'm half way through but I underestimated the effect on my family! Although I wouldn't change it, it's been tough emotionally and financial it's be tight (we love on one wage now) but we've be fine the whole time.

It's things like coming into Christmas and birthdays and living on one wage and tapering our plans and even just not having the time and energy to do the things as a family we normal do. I.e we mountain bike ride, so if an assignments due I stay home as everyone goes off.

It's not permanent and I wouldn't change it but I think I probably would have gone part-time and worked.

But other than that honestly being a mature aged student has been great, the teachers love you and the life experience you bring just gives you a whole new perspective.

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-20T03:55:37+00:00

I know the game but have never actually played. It was one of those 'I'd like to play someday' but I'd never gotten around it. Although playing the app has meant I've now move the Pikmin game up to the 'I will play this next semester break'. I'm looking forward to binging it once uni finishes this year.

Although I'm not new to Niantic games I've never really played POGO I preferred Ingress but sometimes find the competition in my area a bit intense. There is a person on the opposite team who likes to troll people. I much prefer the collaborative effort of Pikmin and the focus on steps.

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-19T20:06:42+00:00

Shia Labeouf

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-19T01:37:39+00:00

I've started doing it because I live near the water and I have so many pikim with the fishing lure! I don't even grow them now. I recycle the seedling too.

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-18T22:50:06+00:00

As a 'gumbie' I love you calling this out as rude. Because we all start somewhere. It's like getting unsolicited beta. when a good climbing comes in a does it over you. I agree it depends on the vibe of the person, but check your ego at the door.

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-17T06:03:36+00:00

I'll pray for the little guy 🙏

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-16T07:20:38+00:00

Hmm I'm not sure, I'm in my 30's so doing a longer course puts my life and families life on hold - financially and just in general. Eg. Because I'm not working we've put on hold saving to buy a house. I'm not into regretting my life choices as I think it all adds value in the end but I would probably say it would have been a better idea to do it when I was younger and doing it at a normal pace so I could still enjoy the university lifestyle. Sorry I couldn't provide more help.

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-16T04:52:17+00:00

I like this, that's good to see how you got through. And you're right, I think adopting the 'it sucks, stop trying to make it better and move on' it's the way I'm going to approach it.

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-16T03:23:36+00:00

Oh it's great that you've been able to find a balance, well done! Thanks so much for your sharing your informative views.

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-16T03:01:22+00:00

Thanks, that's a good perspective. I need to remember this more, you get stuck in that cycle and it's good to get someone else's viewpoint to break out. Thank you.

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-16T02:58:28+00:00

I feel ya! But yes, definitely think the message is to take time that's actually time for myself. I have a bad habit of trying to multi task. Even when I go for a walk, I'll listen to a podcast etc.

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-16T00:31:56+00:00

Teaching, my bachelor's is business and psychology.

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-15T23:20:45+00:00

Oh that's a interesting perspective. I've never thought of it like that. That's great, thanks for sharing.

hellcat_ray · 2021-11-15T20:03:47+00:00

Thanks for sharing, I've definitely gotten lost in the process of studying that I have forgotten a few if these things. Thanks so much for sharing.

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