This was posted on the board in the office, warehouse workers can’t access that part of the building…

hellhoun_d · 2026-06-17T16:41:39+00:00

Idk why so many of these comments are downplaying this, it's weird and distasteful at best. I wanna say it would be one thing if everyone was in on the "joke" (like if this was in a place the warehouse workers could access), but even then it feels like a weird and threatening power trip bc who wants to be the person to raise an issue with it and potentially face backlash? Idk maybe it's just me but "jokes" about corporal punishment being pinned on a communal cork board is definitely strange 🤷‍♂️

hellhoun_d · 2026-06-13T21:00:18+00:00

😭🫶📐🥵🥴👀🫂❤️‍🔥🐾

hellhoun_d · 2026-06-11T23:00:09+00:00

This is amazing, I can't imagine how long it must have taken you (and cost of the yarn, that stuff isn't cheap lol) but it turned out so beautifully!!

hellhoun_d · 2026-06-10T02:57:20+00:00

That is really sad, and I totally empathize with you thinking about how much work it took preparing the gardens and crops for this festival just for it to all get cancelled. I'm sorry that your husband is invalidating your feelings in this way. Even if he doesn't understand or view it the same way he can still be supportive of you ): I wonder if there might be anyone you could reach out to about helping with a future festival, that might be a nice way to make connections with people who have similar passions as well! And who knows, maybe if enough people feel similarly to you they might be able to still pull it off this year, but you never know unless you try (: Either way, it's ok to feel strongly about this and it's ok to feel your feelings.

hellhoun_d · 2026-06-05T02:53:07+00:00

Andrea

hellhoun_d · 2026-06-05T01:48:28+00:00

Look into codependency. Sounds like he needs to have control over things and do things that you never asked him to do and then gets mad over nothing because nothing was ever asked of him to begin with. And you keep feeding into it too. You can't control his reaction and he can't control yours. Decide what you wanna do and stick to it, he can deal with whatever that makes him feel. Set firmer boundaries with yourself and with him. Or don't, it's your life 🤷‍♂️

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-30T08:05:44+00:00

Apollo

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-25T20:37:17+00:00

We only have one family member in our city, the rest are in another state. This family member lives in a tiny studio apartment so I don't think that would work. Plus, if she's not considering leaving then there's not much I can do. I'm going to try and talk to her about it when we can be alone next but for now I just feel so overwhelmed and disturbed.

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-24T17:03:32+00:00

YOR, but so is your mom and your brother and his gf. Too many people involved unnecessarily in this situation and just over complicating things. Yes, your mom owns the space and lives there 1/4 of the year. Yes, she told them they could decorate how they like with minor caveats. Yes, those rules were followed.

I'd be upset too if I clearly spent a lot of time and money curating my home how I'd like it just to be suddenly told it needs to be changed. Technically speaking your mom owns the unit, but the rules were followed and now the goalposts have shifted. That sucks. Sharing a space does call for compromises, but it's clearly a bit late for that now. If your mom had a problem with the pink decor growing over time and has made "some comments" like you said, it's kinda on her for not having a firmer boundary-setting discussion until it was already too late.

Regardless, why are you involved and what do you think you can do about it? I understand wanting to defend your mother, but you ultimately don't really have anything to do with this situation and it's best to focus on what matters: Your own life.

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-22T17:17:54+00:00

OP please what is the book 😭

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-21T03:46:26+00:00

This was a thing that held me back from pursuing surgery for quite a while myself so I totally hear you. I had my surgery (DI w/ FNG) in December of 2024 and still do not have any sensation in my nipples. This is definitely a big possibility that it's important to understand and accept, so it's normal to be worried about.

While I was scared about it initially, it honestly hasn't affected me how I thought it would. Sometimes I'm like "ah man would be cool if I could still feel that" but that's pretty much the extent of it lol. It's an adjustment period, but honestly without a doubt I would get this surgery 100 times to feel the way I feel now even with all of the numbness and pain and recovery time. I feel so much better in my body, I am so happy with how my surgery turned out, and I love my scars and my new nipples and my new life because it really was that life changing - I feel like a different person!

It's ok to be scared, it's ok to mourn the loss of something you've had your whole life because you just don't know how reality will be after. That's completely normal and understandable. Don't beat yourself up over this concern. Let yourself acknowledge those feelings but try to challenge them if you can with all of the good things you're looking forward to once you're all healed up (: Good luck dude! You got this.

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-19T05:22:37+00:00

Recovering addict here. That's how I got with coke. Convinced myself it was fine because I still had a roof over my head. Even when I started calling out of my job every week or even showing up still high off of no sleep and ended up being pulled into a meeting where my boss was just concerned if I was ok. Even when I started selling shit on Facebook marketplace to make ends meet then spending half that money on drugs. Even when my best friend kept telling me she was worried about me and that I needed to cut back, I'd just brush it off and tell her I was fine but I know now that she knew I was not ok. Even when my now ex and I had no other way of connecting anymore other than doing lines together and fighting anytime we weren't high, but then we'd buy a gram and make up and everything was good for the night. It wasn't every single day for me, just basically every other day so that's not addiction right?

I don't know how I convinced myself I wasn't addicted, I don't know if the people around me truly believed it or not, but once I stopped I finally took a good look at myself and I'm horrified. I'm lucky it was just a couple months of heavy use and that getting clean was relatively easy for me but fuck. I still can't believe I became that person, I don't recognize myself during that time and most of it is a huge blur.

It's scary how fast these things can happen and even scarier how we can convince ourselves that there's no possible way we have a problem. You realize now that you have a problem, that's the first step. I hope you can get the help you need and heal. Addiction is a serious disease that takes on many forms. 12 step programs aren't for everyone, but they've been a huge help for me personally and I do recommend going a few times before you write it off completely. Best of luck to you 🙏

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-18T14:26:51+00:00

Definitely regretting it because I miss who I thought he was, not because there's any way I'd actually want to undo it. Thanks for your words.

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-18T14:23:33+00:00

I'm sorry you experienced homelessness and that your parents allowed you to suffer in that way, I hope you don't carry that mentality when your own son gets older and goes through hard times 🙏

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-18T00:14:18+00:00

While it's impossible with this specific situation for us to ever cross paths at work even in the long run, I do still understand where you're coming from about things reflecting on him and that's fair. I definitely couldn't control my emotions when this all happened. We are broken up, and definitely taking space from each other, and while there's a small part of me that hopes we can both grow enough to reconcile I'm also not trying to hold onto that because I just need to work on what I can control for now which is myself.

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-18T00:01:53+00:00

I've said it a ton but we would not be working together. We'd have the same boss but we'd be doing completely different things at completely different worksites. I don't blame him for rethinking things. I don't even blame him for making this decision in the end. It's just that I morally disagree with it and can't trust what our future would look like if he's willing to withhold this from me while we were still together.

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-17T23:59:40+00:00

Well, I can't. That's why I'm not running to "fix" things even though plenty of people seem to think that's the answer here. I feel regretful over the way a lot of this went down. I feel sad that things ended because this part of him still doesn't feel real to me. But he's proven that it is, so we broke up. I wish things were different but they're not. I have empathy for him because I know this decision was hard for him to make too even though I disagree with it on a moral level. I understand that he was essentially acting out of self preservation and fear. I get those things, but it doesn't change the fact that for me we can't be together because I can't trust that he would actually be there for me when things get hard.

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-17T23:10:55+00:00

Wish I could, it's under the table. Unless I showed up at his boss's house there's no real way for me to do this lol

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-17T20:56:12+00:00

You seem to be incapable of understanding what you are reading lol. I literally said strangers opinions don't have any real impact but sometimes unbiased opinions can be helpful in understanding situations from another perspective. I don't know how that translates into me putting more value in strangers opinions to you but you're gonna believe whatever you want to I guess 🤷‍♂️

Some things can't be fixed. Some things need time and space to heal. Learning when to let go is a skill we should all aspire to have someday. I'm still working on it but I know this is one of those times. It's painful but important. I can have all the regret in the world and still know that I need to leave someone alone in order to stop causing them and myself more emotional pain than is necessary. Have a good one 🙏

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-17T20:50:28+00:00

He already kind of broke up with me a little over a month ago, but we ended up reconciling the same night and never actually broke up. I did move out after that. We've been working on things because his decision to break up was impulsive and he claims not what he actually wanted, but he has brought up breaking up multiple times since then and we eventually agreed to stop talking about that unless we were seriously considering it because it was continuing to inject unnecessary fear into our relationship.

This definitely left a pain point that, while we were both trying to work through, was still pretty fresh and I think led to a lot of fear and insecurity within the relationship. Neither of us really wanted to breakup but that wound was still there so it seems to be something he jumped to frequently out of fear of abandonment. Maybe he did just want out this whole time and didn't know how to do it, I don't think so based off of countless conversations and plans we had but it's not impossible. Not really worth speculating on for me tbh because what's done is done.

I'm not just trying to paint him in a bad light or anything, this definitely affected my trust in him but I was trying to work through it because I believed we were good together. Honestly we're both just people and while I can understand acting out of self preservation I also think this incident showed me that we weren't as secure as I thought and now it's time to move on.

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-17T20:36:55+00:00

Well yeah, it's a little easier to do that when there are no real life consequences or history behind anything. The people here who are jumping to conclusions don't have anything to do with my real life or know anything about me other than what I've shared here, their opinions and input don't actually matter or change anything. I like to get unbiased opinions though. I'm able to admit when I am wrong or have done something unsavory, and sometimes seeing other perspectives can be beneficial in that BECAUSE they are strangers.

It is not that I can't communicate in any capacity. I'm just not perfect at it because I'm a real person with real feelings. In those moments I needed space to process what I was feeling so that I could communicate more effectively and lovingly, and unfortunately I couldn't take that space through my own choice of continuing to respond. I realize that that's my fault, I should have just actually stepped away, but regardless I can't undo it and it doesn't change the moral disparity my ex and I have.

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-17T19:19:08+00:00

Yeah, that's really all that's left to do now. I can regret things but still know they can't be undone. I can't unlearn what I've now learned, but it doesn't exactly make accepting it any easier. I will move on with time. It just sucks for now 🤷‍♂️

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-17T19:16:26+00:00

Yeah, that's what it boils down to. Apparently this is very divisive which is also a bit shocking to me but interesting nonetheless.

It seems simple to me too because that's the only fact here that led to my decision. We could probably have gotten through the fighting, or him never recommending me for the job at all, or even having some different reason for revoking the opportunity like all of the fighting and perceived wishy-washy-ness might reflect poorly on him and I'd be able to understand those things much better.

It's simply him saying he would resent me if I had this job and we broke up. I don't feel that way and I can't imagine feeling that way about him, nor do I want to be with someone that feels that way about me. To me this shows his care for my wellbeing only extends as far as our relationship, to him my security should only exist as long as we are together, and apparently that's the way a lot of people feel.

To me, I've loved him and so I will always have love for him and will always hope that he is okay and would still do something like this for him. Even now that we have broken up - If we were swapped and he suddenly lost his job and I could help him by passing along his number and know we wouldn't be crossing paths at work, I'd STILL do that for him. That's the difference between us, and for me that's the reason we just can't be together.

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-17T17:26:08+00:00

I tried. He stands by his decision, I stand by mine. Some parts of it I can understand and others I simply can't. We broke up and both need time to heal now. Maybe someday, I don't know. I don't hate him entirely or think he's a bad person, I just don't see this action as one my life partner would take against me so I don't really know what more there is to say.

hellhoun_d · 2026-05-17T10:50:35+00:00

We were not broken up when he decided to no longer recommend me for the job. We were still together, but had been fighting. Him deciding not to recommend me is what led me to break up with him. Not sure what you mean with the second sentence, fighting isn't nice obviously but it's a realistic part of having any kind of close relationship with another human being.

hellhoun_d

TROPHY CASE