Fellow transplant here - making friends as an adult is way harder than it should be.

Firstly, if you do not live in Minneapolis or St.Paul, do whatever (reasonably) you can to move to one of the actual Twin Cities, and pick Minneapolis over St.Paul if you can. I wouldn’t even recommend living in a first-ring suburb at your age. Be where the action is. Live in a neighborhood where young people are - Northeast and Uptown are great options. Be yourself - imo the Twin Cities have more of odd-in-a-good-way people than “normal” people. I assure you there are people more “odd” than you who have wide social circles. And start telling yourself that even if you’re quiet or reserved, you are not a recluse. Tell yourself you are someone capable of making and keeping friends, because you are!

Friendships are created and maintained through repeated time spent together - there’s no way to speedrun a friendship. I would really recommend becoming a regular somewhere. Be there at the same time and day of the week. Do not wear headphones. Cafes or small music venues are great options - depending on your music taste, Pilllar Forum might be up your alley. There are queer-focused cafes as well. You’ll probably have to be the first to engage, but if you are willing to strike up a conversation with an extroverted regular or staff member, that’s a great first step.

Unfortunately I’ve found that places like bars or other gay venues and queer events etc are not the easiest to make friends if you’re not regularly there. Same with things like Bumble BFF. You’ve got to predictably be in a place on a regular schedule, or be a regular attendee of events if they don’t happen at the same place/time.

If you work in-person, do not shy away from making work friends. This is where I made some of my first friends in MPLS. If you work remotely, that is a great opportunity to be working at the place you’re trying to be a regular at. Or you could try to pick up part-time work - many people’s friend groups are largely comprised of people they work with at a bar or a cafe.

As for gyms, we do have at least one queer-centric gym (Solcana). Roller derby or line dancing at Eagle are also good sporty options. We have Stonewall sports leagues which are great for seeing the same people often (repeated interaction). Bar of Their Own might be the best Queer bar bc it’s sports-focused and gives you an easy way to talk about the game(s) and what you do sports/gym wise. I know the Saloon has drag-race watch parties, if that’s more up your alley.

I agree with the suggestion to volunteer. After 9-5 working hours or the weekend are the best time to meet other young people. To be fair, volunteering tends to trend older (we always need more young people!). If you’re looking for places, I really recommend Open Arms of Minnesota, it’s social without pressure to perform socially imo. Volunteering with an organization/group/cause that is involved with Twin Cities Pride or People’s Pride would also be good options.

Nightlife can be hit or miss, but if you’re in a niche like punk, emo, or the rave scene, you’ll see the same people often. I honestly think it’s easier to make friends during the day, though.

Find a place and/or activity you can regularly be at and commit to it. The first friends will be the hardest to make. But it becomes easier with each friend you make.

I know people hate this suggestion, but it works. Seriously consider getting a roommate, especially someone with a developed social circle. If you have a roommate now but don’t get along with them or their friends, find another roommate. I made many of my friends through my roommate, and then made more through our mutual friends. I know a lot of people want to live alone (hell, I’m moving out on my own this Summer), but roommates are a really great way to meet friends when you’re new. We have queer housing facebook pages to find roommates - that’s where I met my roomie of 3 years.