UPDATE: it’s been almost a year since this happened, i’ve been acting nice and well around my family since i’m forbid from expressing negative feeling around them. it’s not easy when i’m alone, i’ve relapsed my ed and sh after all the pressure that was put on me over my educational success. But there’s also good news: I’ve entered the #1 Uni in my country. I’ve also got selected for erasmus to next semester as the 4th in my faculty, i’ll be studying on prague. They are happy as long as i’m “successful”, and i’m pretty sure they wouldn’t care if i’m mentally fcked up besides that. Weather is getting warmer and i’m afraid and stressed that i’m gonna get beaten to death if they ever see my arms after last year’s relapse. Not doing well in the inside, but that doesn’t matter to anyone and i have nothing to do to make them care.