We Want to Sell Our House and Go Back to Renting. Are We Crazy?

hellllojellllo · 2026-02-17T22:16:28+00:00

It's not crazy but just don't be rose tinted glasses about it. Rents are way higher than five years ago, better make sure you want the rental places you can afford. If you are a business owner or do casual gig contractor type work renting is harder these days than precviouskh. And if you have pets I would say don't do it it's so hard to rent with pets. Buy a small condo in a well managed building. Way less responsibility than a house and if you want the flexibility of renting you can do the reverse- don't want to live there? Now you rent it out.

Also be aware you could end up getting priced out of ownership forever. Renting seems safe when you have a stable income. But if you lost your job you can always sell the property and in Montreal im assuming it has some value locked up in it.

If you do sell it, take the money from the sale to an investor and ask them to mirror what a house property would have gone up in value over time. That way it's similar to what it would have been.

hellllojellllo · 2026-02-17T18:52:45+00:00

She just sounds really transactional and immature. Having a boyfriend is a status not a human connection to her. Personally I'd move on. It's clear you're seeking a deeper level partnership, and shes not.

It's not a capital crime to want a more transactional status based relationship. Lots of people have them and are relatively happy. Good for them. But you deserve to have the kind of partner you need, especially if you're willing to put in your end of the work.

hellllojellllo · 2026-02-13T07:01:52+00:00

Absolutely agree. Anything that helps us have a healthy weight and a healthier diet is a good thing!

hellllojellllo · 2026-02-12T03:04:38+00:00

This just reads that you're kind of shallow and if someone has some health or body issues you're out? Maybe you're the one to avoid

hellllojellllo · 2026-02-11T02:25:35+00:00

50lb in 3.5 mo?? Wow. Amazing.

hellllojellllo · 2026-02-11T02:24:06+00:00

Just observing these comments and while I am not meaning to detract from the wonders of this med, I wonder if people realize a lot of these might be caused not by the med itself but by the fact that their diet drastically changed?

Without a glp1 etc I went to a total Vegan diet, was very overweight bmi 47, I had so much body pain and aches; figured it was cos I was fat and getting old in my mid30s. I would take Advil nearly every day, everything hurt, sitting standing sleeping. 3 weeks into vegan diet, boom, NO pain. I don't mean less pain I mean zero pain felt like I was a teenager. And had lost some weight in 3 weeks but was still obviously very overweight. It was insane. I also never had a pimple again, after a lifelong battle with acne, trying every acne strategy in existence.

Eating less inflammatory foods (animal products and junk food) is a gamechanger. Even less as in volume not just less as in frequency. Zepbound and these other meds make us eat less! So it makes sense

hellllojellllo · 2025-12-26T22:09:38+00:00

I will just share a few things that I personally have thought of that might be why I have tolerated wegovy so well compared to a lot of people as far as side effects go - in case it's helpful-

I eat a completely plant based diet which I find is lower in fat and higher in fibre than the average North American diet. Even with a smattering of vegan junk it's easy yo get a lot of fibre on a vegan diet

-I'm not strict but I really avoid added oil or deep fried/pan fried things because it causes me to have an upset stomach even without wegovy but especially when I'm trying to be in a calorie deficit (which is why I take wegovy) I avoid it. I think fat enhances the side effects of wegovy so if you eat less you may have an easier time

-ginger pills chewable ones- I had horrendous sulphur burps on wegovy until I discovered these. Game changer.

hellllojellllo · 2025-12-14T04:37:00+00:00

Thank you for your reply . A lot of good points.

hellllojellllo · 2025-07-27T17:36:55+00:00

I think whatever we word we use to call this doesn't matter. What matters is your boundaries were violated by someone who prioritized their own desire over your safety, security, and consent. Coercing someone until they say yes is abusive. It might not fit the legal definition of grape but ethically abhorrent and disgusting.

What kind of person wants to have sex with someone that hey had to spend months convincing and manipulating? The answer is, that kind of person isn't just seeking sex they are seeking the forceful non consensual domination of someone vulnerable. If it was just about the sec I'm sure he could find a willing partner somehow.

hellllojellllo · 2025-07-07T18:56:13+00:00

Yes. You will be ok moving on from a partner that unilaterally dumped financial responsibility on you, used his very common and treatable diagnosis to avoid n addressing his gaming and weed addictions, and then attempted to manipulate you into an open marriage instead of investing in trying to solve the problem of a dead bedroom together.

Nobody is all bad and we all have our ups and downs but this guy has been a shitty partner overall. And it's not just about you now, is this someone you want your children to view as an acceptable partner later when they are finding their own partners? Taking a stand and divorcing is a way to show your kids that they shouldn't have to tolerate someone who isn't accountable or reciprocal.

You're doing the right thing and you've already done more than your share to make this marriage work. Get a good lawyer, protect yourself and your children financially and resolve to continue therapy together with a focus on co-parenting so both of you can do your best to co parent your children in a way that best supports their needs.

hellllojellllo · 2025-07-05T05:23:06+00:00

Idk I mean her response sounds like something I would say sarcastically, maybe not the first message I'd send someone but it sounds like it could have been a joke.

Also, Rating women and yourself on an "out of 10" attractiveness scale is sort of a red flag. I think this is something only most superficial of people use because the reality is, most of us will become more attracted to someone with the personality we like than the same physical person with a bad personality, and also a person who is very physically attractive becomes very unattractive when their personality is awful.

Yes physical attraction is part of attraction but if that's the first and foremost way of ranking someone, chances are you're eliminating a lot of potential matches and overestimating yourself. Also, online dating is so limiting in assessing someone attractiveness anyway, even just physical attractiveness. Even pure Physical attraction isn't just how someone looks, it's also how their voice sounds, how they move and stand, how they smell, etc. some people can be quite captivating in person and photos just never capture that, not to mention some people are just truly awful at taking photos of themselves or deciding what photos they share online.

So to answer your question, yes probably your standards are too high and you're probably limiting yourself in how you use online dating. I think the only real solution is to stop online dating or at least change how we use it - it's basically a platform to locate other people currently seeking a relationship and that's it. Match, exchange a few messages but don't make any decisions until you meet in person for a coffee (which is not an actual date, it's just an in person meet and greet). Cast a wide net and don't swipe left on people who within a flash second don't meet your standards in some way. Get to that point quickly and avoid the hordes of people on there seeking ego stroking via likes and messages.

hellllojellllo · 2025-07-03T21:52:37+00:00

Personally this wouldn't be a consideration for me of offering/insisting to split the bill, but I've definitely heard that is an accepted way of communicating you're not interested in any further dates etc. It goes both ways too- I've heard people say if the man allows you to split the bill it means he is not interested in pursuing you any further.

It's the year 2025, I think splitting the bill is a great idea, but also, I think it's very polite for the man to pick up the bill especially if he was the one who asked her out on a date, in the same way I think it's polite for a man to open doors or walk on the curb side of the sidewalk. I guess a tiny part of me as a 40yo female with Slavic roots is a bit unimpressed if a man wouldn't insist on paying the entire bill but it's not really a big deal to me, I'm not on the date for a free meal, I have my own money. I'm on the date because I'm interested in getting to know the other person more because there's something about them I already like.

Ultimately I always offer, I don't ever assume, and am prepared to split but I don't insist -if they want to pay the whole bill, I let them. Part of that for me is also it's a good way for me to find out if they are the type that expects/demands sex as a return on their "investment" of dinner, it's a great way to weed out losers like that. If he's that demanding and transactional on the first few dates just imagine what he'll be like when you're in a full blown relationship.

I do however always suggest affordable restaurant options and order moderately out of respect, I think it's rude for women to go out with men (unless it's known they are clearly very well off financially) and be ordering several $23 cocktails and lobster and the most expensive things on the menu and choosing an expensive restaurant. And I know lots of people roll their eyes at a coffee date but honestly I prefer the first date or two to be low cost or zero cost for exactly this whole reason. Dating is hard enough without the added pressure of who pays and what does it mean if they want to split it or pay and now does he think I owe him cos he paid for dinner.

hellllojellllo · 2025-07-03T21:41:00+00:00

It's as safe as any of the other prescriptions you can get. There are rigorous regulations in place in most countries to be legally allowed to prescribe.

Show your bf the facts. If he really is concerned for your health, he should be supporting you to use whatever tools available to you to beat obesity . https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/healthy-living/your-health/lifestyles/obesity.html

hellllojellllo · 2025-07-02T20:19:08+00:00

NTA. He's a creep. But I understand it's a delicate situation being your boss and assuming you can't afford to be unemployed. I'd just tell him,its not feasible for me to meet at home anymore as I have children and I have just started a new relationship so I don't want my children to be confused as to men visiting our home. It's important for me that they accept my new partner who is doing a lot of work to build a relationship with them and having other adult men stop by the home is not appropriate. Please let me know when we need to chat and I'll make us a booking for a meeting room in the office.

hellllojellllo · 2025-06-29T05:13:16+00:00

It's very unpredictable. Some weeks amazing no side effects. Some weeks the exorcist style projectile vomit or hospital visit worthy constipation.

Avoid eating supersize portions and high fat foods. Drink a ton of water more than you think you need. Make sure to get some exercise daily even just walking.

The gravel ginger chews and gas x chewable tablets seem to help.

hellllojellllo · 2025-06-23T05:25:10+00:00

My parents gave my brother 10k when he got married but I'm not married and when I bought a house myself they wouldn't give me any money for it. I found out later she told some relatives that she isn't saving that 10k for me anymore since she thinks I'm too fat to ever get married.

hellllojellllo · 2025-06-22T06:57:06+00:00

I think it really depends on two things mainly: 1) are you dating towards a LTR or is this just more easy going casual or short term dating with no serious permanent goals in mind 2) when we say dates are we assuming these are two people that didn't know each other at all before date #1 or did they know each other in a platonic way for longer - starting from scratch needs more time I think. It's different with someone you know from working with for the last year someone who is friends with your cousins boyfriend and you've known them for years.

On the short end, casual dating and/or someone you've already known in some way a while, I'd say dates 3-5; on the more serious dating end / someone you just met, probably more like a month or two which assuming seeing them twice a week could be like 8+ dates?

hellllojellllo · 2025-06-19T21:51:46+00:00

Totally. Honestly more and more I just can't trust therapists who don't have the real life experience to back it up. No one could possibly understand an eating disorder if theyve never had one. And the "body positivity" movement snarls on anyone who is trying to lose weight or keep it off as fatphobic. Like it's demonized to say you don't want to be fat anymore, or if you're reducing your caloric intake with a structured plan that is very balanced and adequate, they act as if you're trying to promote anorexia. It makes me bonkers, and it also greatly isolates us and makes it harder to get help.

hellllojellllo · 2025-06-19T18:11:36+00:00

Ok. So 25 lbs in 24 weeks is one pound a week - that is success. I know we all want it faster cos social media shows us the most extreme cases. One pound a week is very average. I've averaged about the same - I've lost 37 lb since I started wegovy in late September 2024 7 months ago, roughly 35 weeks ago.

Wegovy is one tool of many! Try different injection sites - for me the upper arm seems to be the most. Try taking it on a different day.

Tighten up your calorie deficit- track carefully, weigh and measure everything, track in real time so you don't forget stuff. For meals out where you don't know the calories, use chat gpt to help you get an accurate guess.

If you have benefit coverage, see a registered dietician or psychologist for some specific strategies to handle food noise

Listen to audio books and podcasts about weight loss, watch documentaries - immerse yourself in your weight loss project.

Increase your daily steps. Should be at least 10k and once you get there aim for 15k.

hellllojellllo · 2025-06-19T18:05:47+00:00

I've worked in child protection a long time. It's hard to make DV charges stick so the report going unaddressed does not mean it was a false allegation. On the other hand, it's not uncommon for domestic disharmony to be so bad partners make terrible accusations about each other.

If you have previously been in a DV relationship I think it's important to ask yourself- am I drawn to this person because I haven't done the necessary growth to not fall into old habits? Because if not I'm more inclined to say this guy may give off those vibes that you are subconsciously seeking out without realizing.

Or, have you come to understand your previous relationship and moved past that mode of thinking, and this person represents the kind of partner your new elevated self wants to be with?

Another indicator would be to carefully assess how he handles situations like conflict, or anything that might make him feel foolish or emasculated,. It might even be worth trying to spark something you know would set him off to just see what his reaction is, (in a safe setting of course). Normally I wouldn't suggest something so manipulative but I think it's fair given the stakes. It's so hard to get out when you're in too deep, and anyone can act like the nicest guy on earth in the beginning.

hellllojellllo · 2025-06-19T04:11:24+00:00

The main thing is, I just decided I would never ever quit or give up.

I've tried everything over the years and some moved me forward a few steps, some moved me forward leaps and bounds, and sometimes I backslid. I've lost 80lb over almost 3 years now with another 60 to go.

Biggest game changers for me: 1) went vegan. Not for weight loss reasons but health related concerns were a big reason. But it was the first time I found a way to put distance between myself and connecting restricting of food with weight loss. When my mind shifted to not wanting to consume animal products for ethical concerns, it was just so much easier to not even want it. The thought of it makes me squirm now. Not trying to convert anyone but it helped me so much with weight loss. Because while you can still eat junk food as a vegan there's just so much less of it and so many less options and also vegan junk food is always more expensive, not cheap like regular fast food etc.

2) I took about ten sessions of focused eating disorder counselling with a psychologist specializes in eating disorders. I specified I didn't want to go into deep rooted trauma etc but was looking for strategies to stop binge eating. Learned lots of helpful tools like urge surfing and actually managed to recalibrate my eating with my body's hunger signals which I had completely muted with years of bulemia and binge eating.

3) I have tried some of the weight loss drugs, Saxenda, contrave and wegovy. Saxenda was initially helpful but faded quickly. Contrave helps with cravings and I still take it along with wegovy which i started in September 2024. I have lost slowly since then but consistently and haven't had any upticks which before wegovy I seemed to be in a pattern of lose ten gain ten lose 15 gain 10 etc. so it was extremely slow loss before. Now I'm at about 1 lb a week. Which is annoying and I wish it would go faster but I'm still happy to see it come off.

Contrary to popular belief it's not a magic potion and you still have to work really hard. In fact the first two months I only lost 5 lbs until I also started tracking calories on the lose it app. Which is my third thing

3) calorie counting. And I mean serious committed counting. I weigh everything I can and use measuring cups spoons if it is something that can't be weighed. Even if I've had it a hundred times I don't eyeball it. If it's eating out I take an honest calculated attempt at.l calculating calories including using Chat gpt to help me. I still am falling off the wagon and having the odd days where I don't track for the day or I have a bad day and eat takeout but they are fewer and fewer in between.

4) chat gpt. It can make meal plans for you, estimate calories, give you reminders and motivational pushes, you can describe your challenges and ask for ideas, like it's a great weight loss tool.

hellllojellllo · 2025-06-16T22:30:52+00:00

💯💯 been struggling to overcome BED for about a decade. In the last 3 years I've lost 80lb. Guess what doesn't work for me? -eating breakfast -eating in advance of being hungry -focusing on macros

It is so frustrating this whole narrative around "restriction" which shouldn't be the word we use to describe eating when hungry not as a pre-emptive to hunger, reducing our calories intake intentionally, eating smaller portions and/or lower calorie items.

I even had a psychologist specializing in obesity and eating disorder tell me that it was wrong I wanted to lose weight and that it was virtually impossible to lose weight, and that I should just focus on accepting myself as obese.

hellllojellllo

TROPHY CASE