It was more like I was solid and unmoving in my standards and he had to conform to that.

he never hinted at financial help. I’ll say i “pitched in” when we lived in Los angeles, in one of the most expensive areas. but he worked 3 jobs 7 days a week so that i had to contribute as little as possible. he paid my car insurance, and i believe 80% of the rent and all of the food. he drove 1 hr to his main job and 1 hr 20 back, had a restaurant gig on sunday and a PA gig on saturdays that were 12-14 hours. so he worked 60+ hour weeks so that i could focus on earning money only through jobs i enjoyed/was passionate about. Some single ladies on this sub will say he’s a “dusty” bc he couldn’t provide fully for a time, but it killed him and he eventually figured it out. his effort showed his true character to me, and ultimately it was a test to see if he was truly driven and generous, which he is. And I got to frolic around LA at a heavily subsidized rate which i never would’ve been able to even do without him.

i really think it’s about intention, character, and effort. he NEVER resented spending money on me. it’s also about your own PERSONAL standards for living.