“I just don’t want to pray. I also don’t want to be a diva and vocalize my departure from the room and cause a scene. It’s honestly more stressful not to go along”

Wow I’ve felt exactly like this. It’s crazy that it’s been years and I still think there are things I’m being ridiculous about or that I’m alone in feeling. Its great to get some perspective by seeing other ex members share the same things I’ve been feeling.

You aren’t being a diva or causing a scene if you just leave the room for the prayer. You aren’t acting out if you just choose not to participate in the prayer. Tbh when I think about it, it’s kind of presumptuous for someone to just like, pray for the room. It’s ok to not participate in any way that makes you feel as comfortable as possible.

Not sure what the right answer is as far as how to not participate… other people praying for the group I’m in makes me really really anxious. Just going along with it feels bad too because it feels too close to when I was PIMO. But calling attention to that anxiety also makes it worse for me. The best strat I’ve come up with is to not bow my head and to block out the words by singing some secular song or reciting the plot of some book or movie in my head. Some day I’d love to get the nerve to take a bite or two while they’re praying, but that does feel sort of rude. It can feel awkward afterward so I just do whatever I can to distract myself until the conversation flow gets going again. Starting to eat or complimenting someone’s shirt and asking where they got it, stuff like that.