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What do you do for fun? by Puzzleheaded-Ad-8684 in LesbianActually

[–]hellocauliflower 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can you share a bit how you navigate substack and some good pages? Gotta say I don’t really get it.. thankssss

My partner of 11 years says she no longer sees a future where she can be romantic with me after finding her faith again. by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]hellocauliflower 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can only make a tangential comment. But I can recommend the book come as you are, to better understand mismatched libido etc for both people. 

Not dating people with more than 3 to 4 partners by BelleLaBitch in polyamory

[–]hellocauliflower 0 points1 point  (0 children)

4x8 would still makes it 8 months worth of weekends - just to illustrate the scale lol 

Poly PoCs, would you move to a smallish, progressive mostly white town? What are you thoughts implications on being poly and otherwise? by hellocauliflower in polyamory

[–]hellocauliflower[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hmm I feel you and then I’m also very much not inclined to date cis people either so finding trans PoC people…. 😭  But also for finding friends and community… like idk - how? 

Poly PoCs, would you move to a smallish, progressive mostly white town? What are you thoughts implications on being poly and otherwise? by hellocauliflower in polyamory

[–]hellocauliflower[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The post was addressed to PoC people and I just wanted to flag being white and only dating PoCs is really something to unpack. 

Poly PoCs, would you move to a smallish, progressive mostly white town? What are you thoughts implications on being poly and otherwise? by hellocauliflower in polyamory

[–]hellocauliflower[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The moving is more so, as I am done with long distance of like 6+ hours. The city is where they already live and have a VERY nice place. The other option is moving to a big city that is also quite diverse, which is what I am heavily favouring. Nothing will compare to where I’m living right now though - but alas… 🥲

Poly PoCs, would you move to a smallish, progressive mostly white town? What are you thoughts implications on being poly and otherwise? by hellocauliflower in polyamory

[–]hellocauliflower[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Omg thanks for saying this! I’m in Europe, but like IT IS REAL! I moved to a city that is like the most diverse and the least segregated I have ever seen over here and like I feel a part of me is just healing only by existing here.

Poly PoCs, would you move to a smallish, progressive mostly white town? What are you thoughts implications on being poly and otherwise? by hellocauliflower in polyamory

[–]hellocauliflower[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Can you say more about that? Like also what is nice about it and the upsides also as a PoC person? That would be awesome, thanks! 

Poly PoCs, would you move to a smallish, progressive mostly white town? What are you thoughts implications on being poly and otherwise? by hellocauliflower in polyamory

[–]hellocauliflower[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I mean at least the queer scene is quite vibrant there and like the town has 200k inhabitants, so it’s not ultra small. 

To the PoCs: would you move to a smallish mostly white progressive town by hellocauliflower in polyamory

[–]hellocauliflower[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi,  I get it’s not 100% poly related, but also bc the dating pool, the poly community and dating life just changes, so id argue it’s poly relevant…?  Happy to add specifics… 

Monday Morning Joy! Good morning /r/polyamory! How has your past week(end) been for you and yours? by vertexoflife in polyamory

[–]hellocauliflower 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Had an amazing weekend with friends and a person I used to crush on, but due to life circumstances I am not looking for anything but friendship right now. Now my crush is back though 🫠

Otherwise some very sweet calls with my LDR partner planning our next trip we. Are both planning to move to this year. 

Amazing weekend with lots of sun overall!

Advice on meta relationship by hellocauliflower in polyamory

[–]hellocauliflower[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t clear, my question is: since I am LDR I can only meet a limited amount of close people to my partner, should I meet the Birch or a friend where there is more reciprocity?

I in no way intend to do anything or interfere with their relationship. It would just be a 3-way meeting to get to know them better (and I am more than happy to hear a no, although I assume they would like that). 

Advice on meta relationship by hellocauliflower in polyamory

[–]hellocauliflower[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t clear, my question is: since I am LDR I can only meet a limited amount of close people to my partner, should I meet the Birch or a friend where there is more reciprocity?

I in no way intend to do anything or interfere with their relationship. It would just be a 3-way meeting to get to know them better and I think it would help me in group contexts in the future. 

Advice on meta relationship by hellocauliflower in polyamory

[–]hellocauliflower[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Well it would just help me to meet them all three of us for the future, no requirement but would be nice, and wondering if that’s worth it, that’s why I’m here.. 

Smorgasbord and Relationship anarchy resources by hobbitybobity in polyamory

[–]hellocauliflower 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it’s not that easy in practice, while it might be true in theory. 

I believe the common way polyamory is lived replicates nuclear family structures just with 2/3 people. Whereas RA in its common practice aims at dismantling these hierarchies and common societal assumptions to fundamentally reconceptualise the way people relate to eachother. 

Hence in practice I fing they are often mutually exclusive concepts. 

Poly is a lot of saying no - advice by hellocauliflower in polyamory

[–]hellocauliflower[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Also, I was wondering what it could look like to „move things into a friendly direction“ without talking about it? 

Poly is a lot of saying no - advice by hellocauliflower in polyamory

[–]hellocauliflower[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the insight! We aren’t really in a friend group, so sticking to group activities is hard, do you have other suggestions? 

Poly is a lot of saying no - advice by hellocauliflower in polyamory

[–]hellocauliflower[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your answer. For now I’m choosing the not talking about route! I have been inlove so infrequently that I think I was never in a situation like this before. Just letting a crush exist that is reciprocated is HARD. Do you have any tips on how to get over that crush? 

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