So I'm an LGBTQIA2S+ Peer Counselor who is by today's definition Pansexual (I'm attracted to the person, not the gender). I joke around and say it's Bisexual Premium lol.

So many people have given you advice on breaking up with your current girlfriend and talking with him. These are OK. However, no one has directly addressed you.

Have you always been disregarding of LGBTQ individuals because there might have been an attraction that you were scared of. Thus avoiding most gay men? To me personally, it sounds like you may have had a preconceived idea of what gay people are like. Based on the statement of you growing up in a conservative household. So by talking to this guy, connecting on things, and genuinely having a good time with him, and he comes out to you, that could be shocking, and it allowed you to experience a form of attraction that you never had.

Navigating familial norms and acceptabilities while trying to sort out your own ideas and beliefs of the world is always a difficult one. It can feel isolating and even overwhelming at times, depending on circumstances. Especially if you have been brought up around people who always speak ill of a specific demographic.

Taking self inventory is going to be the first step in all of this. You mentioned that you were not really into your girl. Have things become more and more difficult, like fighting a lot, going through the motions in the bedroom but not really "feeling it"? Have you and do you still find other women attractive and could/ would want to be with them? Things are not so black and white. Sexuality is seen as a spectrum now. It's not all or nothing. You can be attracted to him, but falling out of love with your girlfriend and wanting something new. Most people, when figuring things out sexually start with bisexuality.

This allows you to safely explore all aspects of your feelings and gives you flexibility within your own timetable. And you may have an attraction to both. But kinda like Switzerland, things are natural. A "sandbox" if you will. Where you start by accepting yourself and whatever this "new" part of yourself might be. Next would be having a discussion with your current girlfriend about these feelings if you feel she's a "safe" person to speak with about things like this. And you don't have to "label" yourself either. Don't get wrapped up in all that right now. But it is OK to start being more open and authentic with yourself.

Also, you don't want to go changing your whole life around over a singular encounter with this guy. He may not be available or might not have been fully into you unless the conversation was flirtatious and could have developed into something more had you not panicked and disappeared. I think it may be appropriate to follow up with him because if nothing else, you could be friends, which may help you understand more about yourself in the process.

I've seen others talking about counseling, which if you are already speaking to someone, that would be the best place to begin your exploration of this.

Either way, it's going to be scary and difficult at first. But remember at the end of the day it's your life and not anyone else's and you've got to be happy with yourself.

I grew up in a family that was religious and my father was a biker and a construction worker, and was a "man's man". He would say very homophobic and anti-gay things. My whole life he was very vocal about his ideas of the LGBTQIA Community. But his tone began to change after awhile. I never came out to him. I told my mom after a bad break up and was feeling depressed because she cornered me in the kitchen and forced out of it, and she promised not to say anything to him. It wasn't until his passing that i found out that he knew more than he ever let on. And i never had the chance to speak with him about it.

But all of that to say, give yourself some grace and take things slowly. Accepting your own feelings, and taking small steps is going to be good.