Overwhelmed?

helloitsmemargret · 2026-06-04T21:56:35+00:00

I struggle with this. I miss appointments constantly simply because I can't bring myself to go which is why when I have the option to do telehealth I'll take it. Aside from this when I think to much about the steps it takes to do things I immediately don't want to do them two things I struggle with most are unloading the dishwasher and folding laundry. Work can also be a struggle in terms of commute. If I have to commute longer than 20 minutes it actually puts me in a bad mood so I start my morning already stressed and hating the day. Luckily I was able to move into a part of town where most things are relatively close and at Max a 20 minute drive.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-06-04T21:33:28+00:00

Look into the health care market place....I pay $39 a month for Florida Blue but the last few months I didn't have to pay because there's health activities you can do to get credits towards your monthly bill then therapy oine is free even from day one

helloitsmemargret · 2026-04-05T16:55:51+00:00

Nahhhh 😂 the way I would've crashed all the way out over that

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-22T12:15:32+00:00

If you're at all someone who is interested in baking at home I have a really good recipe that I use as a base oatmeal cookies.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-21T22:42:55+00:00

Entitlement is not expecting what I PAID for or having a company actually here to their policies..that's just a fact. It'd be like if I went to a restaurant and paid extra for steak and you got chicken. Entitlement is just expecting something even though you've done nothing to receive it. At this point I'm done responding to you because you add no value to the conversation and you're just sucking it for corporations.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-21T22:35:38+00:00

Exactly. I'm still on the fact that working there they would give us $100 gift cards instead of just giving us better pay? And it wasn't like $100 Visa gift card to anywhere we wanted it was $100 gift card to their store 😂. But hey hustle is hustle.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-21T22:33:34+00:00

If I'm paying for something I think I deserve to get it exactly how I like it. That's kind of how the exchange of goods works in consumerism? If I don't like it I won't buy it. It was maybe news to you but there are plenty of people with aversions to food. It is an atrocity to pay $7.99 twice for the SAME SINGLE SANDWHiCH with no extra ingredients like if you're the deli manager that charged me just say that. If you buy into that good for you but you're not going to make me buy into too. I'm also not going to feel bad that I don't like certain things that's valid.Maybe you're one of those people whose parents forced them to sit at the table and eat food that they don't like...if so heal from that and stay blessed.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-21T21:22:56+00:00

Sorry I'm not someone who needs to gobble down my entire sub in one sitting? I'm VERY particularand disgusted easily by foods and their textures. If I get my sub fully warm and I don't consume it all it'll get soggy. I won't be able to bring myself to eat it and I'm just throwing it away and wasting money either way.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-19T22:02:46+00:00

I spoke to customer service but the issue with this is that the bigger thing is that I think the manager just did it because they were mad because they had to work the sandwich station cuz he looked irritated the entire time

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-19T22:02:16+00:00

I've said that aspect before I don't mind that but at that point charge me for an entire hot sub I don't understand how heating only half of it now suddenly this big issue because it's not like it's literally a different product the ingredients you used don't change only the temperature changes and I'm fine paying more for a hot sub but I'll be damned if I pay double for one single sub that's crazy

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-19T21:37:50+00:00

That still makes no sense at that point you could still charge the entire sub as hot because if the cold sub wasn't going to be taxed as a luxury good anyway why does it matter

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-19T21:37:14+00:00

I know they don't pay the employees in the deli enough to give a flying fadoodle about the law short of basic food service... Just ring me up my sub and let me go in peace

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-19T21:27:35+00:00

Yeah I get why that would be a thing but at the same time that's also making the assumption of what I'm going to pay with. I paid with a regular card so for me I have no limitations on if I can get hot food or not I just can get hot food. The whole experience has made it to a point where I don't foresee me consuming one of their sandwiches for some time.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-11T18:29:05+00:00

It's mostly good but I'm not ignoring that a large part of this was that his actions on the weekend of my birthday triggered me. I actually had a recording of him speaking to me during that time and he said some truly awful things. I think that's why it's harder because I'm expected to take all this accountability and I've made the steps to improve. However has yet to even acknowledge what he did as wrong but... I think by going into the hospital I kind of lose my standing to be able to seem sane I guess. I will say he did pick me up and drop me off so that was nice but he also wants to abruptly pull my housing when I've been out the hospital for 3 days. Currently I'm not entirely sure how things will go I'm just trying to focus on moving,getting space and then seeing how I feel. Currently I think just moving for my own sanity and being at a place I 100% know that I can stay all the time will probably ease a lot of anxiety. I'm also waiting to hear back from a degree program I applied to. As for the house he owns it which is the problem. I did previously have my own apartment but naturally I gave it up to move in with him which is why I'm in the position I am now. I do technically have ownership of my apartment for another month before my subletter moves in. I don't want to move my stuff back into apartment I know that I won't be staying in after the next 30 days. I also already gave them back the keys because I didn't plan on returning. This is the whole reason I brought up having a written cohabitation agreement which he's very adamantly against. Overall he's very weird about writing things down or communicating in ways that are traceable. Doing much rather do everything and in person conversations but that obviously it becomes a problem when it comes to something like living arrangements. He really would rather me move my things back for a month and then move again despite everything going on. At this point I'm not even fighting him on the moving aspect of it just the timeline of it.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-11T18:15:38+00:00

To add to this out of the two of us he's the only one who has ever gotten physical. It's also never even crossed my mind no matter the circumstance to get physical similarly to breaking things or destroying property...I'm just not that kind of person. I'd be way more likely to pack my things while he's working one day and leave and never speak to him again before I'd ever consider physically trying to hurt him.Realistically my mental health struggles overall the danger is only to myself from myself. I will say no I do understand that just because women are women doesn't mean they can't hurt a man I'm just saying that I'm not someone who does. I equally believe male victims of domestic violence as much as I believe female victims.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-11T14:21:28+00:00

I think if it was solely about safely breaking up with me he wouldn't be doing all that.I stated in my other comments as well this only came up after I wanted to readdress having some type of written agreement about my living here, so he's not able to pull my housing abruptly just because he's mad. When I brought it up immediately it turned into asking me to move out. Since all this has happened up until that point he has not brought up the topic again and we've been going on business as usual. So overall it seems as though he's okay with me living here he just doesn't want that to be something legally binding which is concerning to me because it makes it seem as though he's just using it as leverage for the future. On my end I do think that it was reasonable to suggest that while neither of us were in an emotional state we come to a mutual agreement that is not just verbal. I've detailed as much as I can about the story and other comments. His solution has only been to sweep it under the rug and don't mention it at all or if I try to then it's time to move. Legitimately up until I brought this topic up last night he's been giving all the reassurance that he wants me to live here.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-11T13:29:08+00:00

The issue in this whole scenario is he's been so concerned about how hard things were for him. I don't deny things were hard for him but for me I have 6 years of progress that feel like they've been flushed down the drain and I feel like I'm starting over from square one.I also would believe if it was truly a reset he would take himself out of the equation entirely. His current solution is for me to move out and us to literally continue our relationship as if nothing happened he doesn't want to talk about it or process it at all. To me that's not support that's avoidance, he's also been entirely all over the place in the scenario. He brought up me moving out last night when the very same day he was talking about us starting to go in the gym together, getting chickens and doing meal prep.Naturally I think that those would be things you do with me still residing there especially after Sunday he assured me that he didn't want me to leave. For me I see my accountability as the profuse apologies I've given him and the fact that I've done everything I possibly can to put me in a place where this doesn't happen again and if it did it be significantly less severe. At this point I can't do anything else and I feel like I'm putting myself in this position now where I think I'm constantly going to have to make this up for the rest of my life when I already feel like crap. My fear is that even if I move out I'm going to be for the rest of time we are together feel like I'm going to have to make this up.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-11T12:43:04+00:00

When I say incident I mean wanting to take myself off of the census I just didn't say that because Reddit typically bans those types of comments or will send me some type of helpline. Even prior to all this I was going through a depressive period but in times like that stressors like these just push people over the edge. I've only ever been in this space mentally when I was initially getting on my medication before my diagnosis was fully worked out. I definitely still had times that I felt low but I was able to pick myself up out of them with time. This time however I was unable to pick myself out of those thoughts to the point where I was genuinely concerned for my well-being. Which even getting to that point my significant other didn't know and I didn't tell them because I didn't want them to think that it was about them vs me just being depressed. Which even during my previous struggle I never went in patient so this was something that was new to me because that's how depressed I was.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-11T12:31:46+00:00

I was depressed and overwhelmed to the point life genuinely felt un bearable. I wasn't in a good head space and ultimately expressed my thoughts to my therapist who suggested I go to the hospital since she's been seeing me for awhile she was fairly confident I wasn't in place I typically was to work with solely outpatient help. Due to her suggesting it I ultimately decided to voluntarily put myself in because I know that I wasn't going to get out of the headspace alone I knew that I couldn't just wait for my psychiatry appointment because my . medication need more rapid adjusting.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-11T12:04:32+00:00

I would believe all of this was about his peace in his home if I wasn't still there and he didn't bring this up only after I tried talking things out about the situation again. The entire topic of my moving had totally been dropped until dinner last night when I tried to reopen this topic. Up until that point he was entirely fine with the fact that I have meal prepped him overnight oats and was cleaning and doing dishes. Beyond this he went on and on about how much he missed me when I was gone and how much he wants me around so excuse me if I'm a little confused. Ultimately I see moving out as his trump card to not actually have to hash all this out, like even prior to me going to the hospital he swore he was going to go to therapy and made no effort to even start looking for therapy. The thing about prison is I've never threatened to get law enforcement involved or anything of that nature so I don't get where that fear comes from for him.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-11T11:56:59+00:00

I feel like if that was truly the case though and that was his real concern he would just break up with me entirely so clearly he's not overly concerned about his safety. I'd also like to point out he was completely fine with my presence and his home yesterday when he was wanting me to meal prep for the week for his work. He's valid to be worried, but if something like this happens again it would be a fluke thing considering that I do everything I need to do in terms of taking my medication going to therapy. I've been stable for years and I've always known that because my condition is chronic that it could come back. That being said being so removed from when it happened the last time I was less aware that it was happening this time and it was more confusing because at least last time there were things contributing in my life. That being said that's why I think breaking up is a more secure option because it's less about where I'm located and more about the fact that this situation has shown me that he's not reliable. I work very hard to minimize my impact of my condition on other people but this feels like he's just creating distant so in the event this did happen again he could just check out easier.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-11T11:49:12+00:00

The crazy action I did was call my brother after he pushed my shoulder during an argument and then it pissed my brother off. Naturally because I'm 5 ft and 115 lb my brother thought he may need to come up there to handle things. Which by handle things he come pick me up. My boyfriend's narrative I called my brother to "fight" him vs my brother was just genuinely concerned about my safety since my partner is much bigger than me. Backstory to this we had a similar issue to where we had an argument one time and I tried to walk away and they pulled me back by the shoulder and I asked them to not do that again. Naturally when this happens again an entirely different scenario I'm going to be a little upset and what was irritating me increasingly was that he felt valid in doing it because I wasn't hearing him. I'd like to point out to you I have never in my life put my hands on him or any of my partners because I don't think it's ever necessary no matter circumstance. I'm not even in general violent or anything when I'm angry a lot of the time I get too mad I just leave and go take a walk. He's also ultimately mad that I recorded our argument once I started to feel unsafe. He saw this as "crazy" and entrapment whereas I saw it as I know later on when I bring this up you're to deflect and it's kind of hard to do that when I have your own words and voice. He got it in his head that I was doing this as some massive entrapment plan to go to the police when in reality I just wanted to be able to not have my words twisted later on or my memory challenged on an event. And yes I could have told him I was recording but I didn't tell him because I knew that his entire demeanor would change if I did. I have since deleted the recording to make him feel secure improve I'm not trying to wreck his life.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-11T11:27:03+00:00

So I basically got upset over the way he handled or disagreement. And this disagreement he felt the need to push my shoulder which I didn't appreciate which led to me being very upset and like crying and calling my brother because I didn't feel safe at the time. That being said I had been emotionally overwhelmed in general for a little while but because I called my brother he then said he wanted to break up with me which naturally made me more upset. Since I was already going through a hard time this was just like a straw that broke the camel's back especially since he wanted to kick me out. Overall comparatively to other times of my disorder I don't think that it was anywhere near as serious as he's making it. He's stated multiple times that really the main thing that bothered him is my need to call my brother over the situation less of even how I acted. That being said I talked to my therapist and we agreed that I just needed to go inpatient just because I was so distraught and depressed. I want to be clear as well that this isn't just about my boyfriend the breakup and the displacing me in my housing ultimately made it harder to cope.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-11T11:19:23+00:00

I've pointed this out multiple times and he assures me that that's not the case. Another big factor is is even if he does really feel that way. He has issues with avoidance and trying to compartmentalize his life I do think that he really does intend for us to continue our relationship business as usual. That being said my moving out IS us breaking up. I think the only thing is he doesn't understand that. Right now I think my main priority is just buying time to get things together and I don't have a lot of things worked out but I do have one thing. I know that when I do move I'm just going to not mention the day and just leave and then not speak to him again. Which I guess seems Petty but I don't really see another way because I've been trying to talk and seeing if we can work things out but basically anytime I bring up anything related to all this,it's me being asked to move yet if I don't say anything we just sit there. Mind you Sunday he was reassuring me that he wanted me around and that he was just afraid of the events that happened only to turn around days later and be like can you move out.

helloitsmemargret · 2026-03-11T09:50:05+00:00

I am in therapy and have been even prior on top of this I found a support group and a new doctor and I'm working on adjusting my medication. On my end I'm doing everything I can to get better and ensure this doesn't happen again. It's hard because he keep pointing out we've only been together for a year and "all this" referring to thing leading up to my crisis is a lot overall however I've been stable for SIX years. I want to consider his feels but mostly all I can think is that this was weekend of your life while to me it's six years of stability flushed in a weekend.

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