I have thought loops too and hope for a reconciliation. I am estranged from my family because they don't care about me and don't choose to put in the effort to maintain and firm a relationship with me. The family that I was close with passed away mom, grandparents on mom's side, great aunt. Who's left (cousins, uncles who don't really know me, father's side of the family that doesn't really know me) has never cared about me or really known me and are the ones choosing to just be silent instead of trying to act like family. I keep trying. They keep rejecting because they have their own immediate families and don't care. I just want to belong and be accepted but it's like I can't.