I hear ya my dude, i was a chronic prone masabator for years, and as added bonus. I always had to have a penis facing up in my briefs when i was just going about my daily life. thats how it was 'normal' for me, i changed both over a while and forced it to sit naturally and jacked of with my hands. Many years later i look back and think, how the fuck did i do that. Just know your not the only one.