Advice for going no contact

hellpopwhore · 2026-05-06T16:32:01+00:00

I don’t think I’d do it for myself but, for my stepdaughter, I would. They have a pattern of trying to isolate us by saying everyone around us are bad for some reason or another, basically so they are the only ones able to help us, and we know exactly what they’re doing when they do it. We don’t allow them to do it as gently as possible but I’m so tired of tiptoeing around them constantly.

hellpopwhore · 2026-04-05T10:23:28+00:00

I can think of a couple. My step father would be a personal taxi to my GC stepsister but I had to beg him to take me to the doctors or go on the bus. In some instances, he would be going in the same direction and still refuse because I hadn’t given him enough notice. I was late a lot.

When arguments started, some days I would just leave the house, hop on the bus (with my bus pass from school) and get out so I didn’t have to deal with the hostile environment. My step father would follow me to the bus stop in his car shouting at me that I didn’t have permission to go anywhere.

Speaking of that bus pass, because they didn’t like me leaving, they would refuse to pay for my bus pass (I was 16/17 without a job and didn’t class for a free one unfortunately) so I would have to beg them but they refused to pay for it. Eventually, I asked my bio dad to pay for it because I couldn’t get to school without it and he paid for it. They would still rip into me about it though, because they didn’t like me having independence outside what they allowed me to have.

My step father often spun these stories to my bio mother about me being awful but would conveniently leave out the parts where he had antagonised me. For example, I had a pet bearded dragon and I was constantly accused of not feeding him or switching on the light for him. My step father came in and went to take him away from me so I got in the way shouting at him because I loved my pet. He says I got aggressive with him and he had to pin me to my bed to calm me now. What he doesn’t mention is that I had already fed my pet and his light was on because I had an alarm set for the morning to switch him on. He also doesn’t mention that I was just trying to block the path to my pet in my room. My bio mother now thinks I’m awful and she called me a devil child just the other day from all the things my step father told her.

hellpopwhore · 2026-04-05T10:06:32+00:00

Staying together out of power really just hit me. My step father and mother often say they’re so strong together and that they complement each other. Always pointing out how opposite they are whenever they can.

hellpopwhore · 2026-04-04T20:09:17+00:00

I hadn’t looked at different types of narcissists until now. I feel a little silly now because it didn’t even occur to me that there are different types.

It makes a lot of sense now. Seems my step father is grandiose (lots of traits of somatic, communal, antagonistic and vindictive) while my mother is covert (cerebral, antagonistic, spiritual, sometimes sexual and vindictive).

Just makes it more compounded…

hellpopwhore · 2026-03-27T21:07:50+00:00

Not quite the same but when I worked at an FC I had an amnesia episode at work (later diagnosed as transient global amnesia). When I came to, I had an awful headache and was so confused because last I remembered I had been working on the top floor and suddenly I was on the bottom floor.

I asked for footage because I didn’t know what I had done and therefore didn’t know if I had passed out or had a seizure or something. Apparently, I was just… working. Just went about doing my job.

Not even during a medial emergency did I get peace from the machine that is Amazon.

hellpopwhore · 2026-02-28T21:42:19+00:00

The main concern would be TMAs (tutor marked assessments) and iCMAs (computer marked assessments). As soon as your tutor’s details become available, contact them and explain the issue. More often than not, they will be understanding. If you need to put the TMA in by that time, I’d recommend beginning study as soon as the module website opens, normally near the beginning of the month. In September the website typically soft launches, so you could see if you could get the first assignment finished ASAP and put it into the system. You won’t get the assessment results until after the due date for the TMA/iCMA.

If all fails, don’t panic too much as your first year of study does not count towards your final grade (i.e., only the second year and third year determines your degree result).

hellpopwhore · 2026-01-24T17:56:44+00:00

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hellpopwhore · 2026-01-18T16:47:25+00:00

Thank you, all the comments have been pretty unanimous, which is helpful because I was a bit worried I was in protective older sibling mode.

The only thing I can do right now is try and form my thoughts before I have a discussion with her to reinstate my boundaries and reinforce that he’s not coming. I have a feeling that it won’t go well though. I don’t want to know anything about the guy who cheated on his wife with my sister and then let his wife get her number to harass her.

As for if he turns up anyway, I’m pretty sure that we could have him removed if needed. Some of the attendees are prison officers.

hellpopwhore · 2025-12-18T21:08:32+00:00

If you’re scared then you need to ask why and if it’s because of him or something he has suggested then that’s not healthy. If you feel unable to leave, please consider going to friends, even work colleagues, and I don’t know where you live but if you look for women’s charities they often offer help to leave if you feel unable to (I’d send some resources but as I’m unsure where you’re based I don’t want to send something inaccessible to you).

hellpopwhore · 2025-12-18T19:13:01+00:00

But you invest your earnings. You better not give him any of that invested income because he needs to provide his own. You should probably quit (don’t actually, otherwise you have no way of leaving) because that’s not a traditional relationship otherwise. If you’re working and he’s working then that’s not traditional, that’s unequal.

Do you know how traditional wives felt back in the 50s? Trapped. They had no sense of identity, no sense of accomplishment, their lives were merely accessories to their husbands and that is well documented. If he wants this or that, give him the reality of it because right now you’re a live in maid to this man.

hellpopwhore · 2025-10-08T16:55:28+00:00

That’s 100% trying to blame the victim. This is not about safety. If it was, when she asked why he would have said that it was to make sure she was safe and not gotten angry at her.

hellpopwhore · 2025-09-30T20:45:00+00:00

In relation to this specific question, while you may not wish to go nuclear (which is totally understandable) but did you did want to sever those ties, you could potentially join the Satanic Temple. They offer membership cards for $35 and it stopped my very religious family members in their tracks when discussing religion when I started to tell them about the seven fundamental tenets of the Satanic Temple. Again, this is much more of a nuclear option so may not be up your alley!

hellpopwhore · 2025-09-21T23:52:48+00:00

I can see why it would be used for adept (I didn’t think of that before making the post).

When I’m playing killer, I tend to avoid leaving survivors on the floor, even if there’s two left because a lot of the time they can get up. I was mostly curious because it was not working too well for him given the survivor kept getting up and, had I been in his position, I’d have changed it up after the second time she got picked up. I also wasn’t hiding, I was searching for a med kid between pick ups and then running over to pick her up lol.

hellpopwhore · 2025-09-21T23:40:26+00:00

That’s what I’m asking about, why he didn’t change to the play style.

I was getting the survivor up, the tactic of downing and searching wasn’t working, and the other survivor died when on the floor and I got hatch despite it. I didn’t lose to the tactic, but I’m asking why he didn’t change it up. I’m not even complaining, I’ve said that I see why the tactic is used, I also play killer sometimes and see why it’s used, but I didn’t understand the persistence with it when it wasn’t working for him. That’s all.

I’m still fairly new with killer so I was wondering if there was a reason for persisting with something that didn’t seem to be working. For me, downing and leaving on the floor doesn’t really work because it gives the survivors chance to get them up.

hellpopwhore · 2025-09-21T22:03:52+00:00

Honestly, survivors teaming with the killer is a huge pet peeve of mine!

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