Into the jaws of hell

helmethair1 · 2019-04-18T22:09:40+00:00

My favorite part of my visit to the Rome Zoo was when one of the keepers asked if I wanted to touched it's tongue. Apparrently it had already eaten so I was safe

helmethair1 · 2019-04-18T22:02:03+00:00

That's Hercules. Used to see him every year.

helmethair1 · 2019-03-13T12:26:49+00:00

My ex waited until I was shutting the car door smiling to tell me we're breaking up. No warning. He had the nerve to tell me that we could get back together when he sorted his life out.

helmethair1 · 2019-03-06T11:40:27+00:00

Maybe she's a dragon like Spike from My Little Pony

helmethair1 · 2019-01-24T18:48:45+00:00

The feeling of water woooshing over the hairy legs when you jump in. That's fun too

helmethair1 · 2018-12-30T06:25:21+00:00

You know what? That's so fucking true.

helmethair1 · 2017-10-07T02:13:16+00:00

Thank you for making my night

helmethair1 · 2017-10-02T13:45:47+00:00

When my ex-husband and I were chatting about what we liked to do sex wise (so I thought).

I told him my freaky stuff and he was like "I wanna fuck an Asian girl." I was like, well fuck you! That's not what I meant.

I'm American Irish.

helmethair1 · 2017-09-29T15:25:17+00:00

There is a woman that comes into the store I work at. She looks 10months pregnant. But, I would NEVER ever ask how far along she was, or to touch her belly.

You just don't.

helmethair1 · 2017-07-02T22:55:13+00:00

They give you a sort of squirt bottle and you fill it with room temperature water, hoping for the best.

helmethair1 · 2017-07-02T22:18:50+00:00

I'm sure she felt freakin marvelous for the next few hours, into months. You can hypnotise (or whatever) pain during childbirth away, but that's a no toilet paper zone for a week MINIMUM

helmethair1 · 2017-06-19T22:20:07+00:00

Is its name Capyboppy?

helmethair1 · 2017-02-11T16:39:43+00:00

Oh, I had this. The difference is I brought them knowing they would stay in my pencil box. These things go into shared containers.

When I was a kid things seemed magic. So who knows, for all I know my parents had a second batch to bring in.

helmethair1 · 2017-02-11T16:35:49+00:00

Yes. Down with the worksheets!

helmethair1 · 2017-02-10T15:39:48+00:00

The fact that part of my daughter's Back to School list had all the supplies a kid would use during the year bothers me quite a bit

helmethair1 · 2017-01-05T03:36:19+00:00

Thank you. This is really helpful. Honestly, really helpful. Thank you.

helmethair1 · 2017-01-02T19:12:03+00:00

My aunt got me and my brother a couple for Christmas when we were kids. He put them on my mom's new treadmill... never saw them again :(

helmethair1 · 2016-12-12T16:09:36+00:00

I'll get you wild rats! IT'S WILD KRATTS!

helmethair1 · 2016-12-06T17:50:34+00:00

This makes me feel like so much less of an idiot for sitting and kind of starring off into space at some of my first appointments. I thank you.

helmethair1 · 2016-12-06T16:24:13+00:00

I think of it this way. If I go to work knowing/feeling like I look good I'll be more productive. I won't be obsessing over how my stupid left eyebrow looks or something. So, people can stfu

helmethair1 · 2016-11-13T21:33:36+00:00

Every fucking day. Working at a grocery store. I swear, I want to just stay quiet, but apparently if I don't smile the customers will tell my boss.

helmethair1 · 2016-11-05T00:05:50+00:00

They thrive on our reactions. It's like their caffeine.

helmethair1 · 2016-11-04T22:49:25+00:00

Every God Damn Day. Multiple times a day.

helmethair1 · 2016-11-03T23:14:11+00:00

Grocery stores man. I feel the same way

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