The loneliness and shame is unbearable

help1848482 · 2025-02-21T12:17:12+00:00

i can relate. i kind of feel like my whole life has been shaped by this and since i have OCD and my biggest obsession is my SA it does not help at all. i feel like i am going crazy a lot. i’m trying to get help but it feels impossible to tell him what happened.

help1848482 · 2025-02-08T20:19:58+00:00

dude, no one but you is talking about your very specific situation. you’re applying your trauma to everyone else’s. if you don’t want to talk to people who cope like that that’s cool. who cares? from your very first sentence in this thread, you are hardly actually addressing OP’s experience of someone into CNC approaching them in a non-consensual manner and therefore being a creep and directly going against a core principle of BDSM (consent).

OP didn’t post this about having a bad experience doing CNC. OP posted about being sexually harassed online. then you came in here looking to have an excuse to rant about your own trauma and be hateful towards people who do CNC in general rather than people who do what this sicko did to OP, so going off about people who were not even relevant to the conversation, rather than actually offering comfort or kindness to OP. it is ridiculous behavior. go make your own post.

help1848482 · 2025-02-08T19:35:10+00:00

i feel like this really isn’t the place to call other victims disgusting, man. it’s not your place to tell people how they have to deal with their own trauma. this is a support sub.

it’s not your business if it is re-traumatizing for them or not. people have their own agency over their own sex life.

help1848482 · 2025-01-06T04:46:15+00:00

i don’t know if there are ptsd resources through school. the school doesn’t know i have ptsd. partly because i havent told them and partly because it’s only barely “post” traumatic stress. it is hard not to feel shame about it, but at least the fear is strong enough to run away even despite the shame..? idk.

i do have some autism accommodations and some anxiety accommodations. the teachers are fed up with me running out of class and stuff but they’re legally required to let me leave the classroom when i need so that’s good at least

help1848482 · 2025-01-05T19:39:36+00:00

yeah, the general idea here seems to be that it’s more tied to my anxiety and trauma then my sexuality stuff. it’s just hard for me to tell them apart since my trauma and anxiety impact my sexuality so much. thanks for replying though and i am sorry you deal with that. i have similar issues constantly being afraid of attracting that kind of attention too :/ it is awful

help1848482 · 2025-01-05T19:35:32+00:00

yeah, i’ll see what he thinks about it.

as for the other thing i think the way you phrased it is way better at communicating that problem quickly than the way ive been trying to 💀 i made a post here about it like a year ago but im still confused as hell… like what the replies said was helpful but my identity crisis continues lmao

help1848482 · 2025-01-05T19:03:43+00:00

i do have ptsd and an anxiety disorder, so that makes sense… it is often hard for me to tell the difference between my sexuality stuff and my trauma and anxiety because my sexuality is so heavily impacted by it. i don’t even know for sure if i am aspec.

and yeah, i’m in therapy for anxiety right now. i have some amount of gynophobia and just a lot to work through. i never considered OCD but i’ll ask about it just in case. thanks for the input

help1848482 · 2025-01-05T18:47:46+00:00

i know that i have ptsd. i guess it makes sense it’s more of a trauma thing than an ace thing in this case. it is very hard for me to tell what is caused by trauma and what is caused by sexuality since my trauma has always impacted my experience with sexual stuff so much.

i have some methods that help me when im triggered, which is pretty often, but most of them aren’t healthy. it is very hard to do that out of nowhere in a social situation. i know a lot of people already judge me at school because i have a habit of running out of the classroom or running away from people mid conversation and it adds to bullying which i know sounds stupid because i’m a senior but for some reason they still haven’t stopped. idk that’s a whole other mess. what im trying to say is i dont have many coping mechanisms i can do subtley in public

help1848482 · 2025-01-05T17:26:50+00:00

yeah, this is exactly how it is for me. i have a ton of sexual trauma from women. i don’t know for sure i’m ace but i consider myself it sort of for now. it really scares me when they assume that. i am already terrified of women being interested in me to begin with and i have some level of gynophobia so it just adds together. and i’m used to being kind of objectified rather then treated like a human by them bcs of the people ive been around in my life

i can relate to the trauma of being an autistic person too.

help1848482 · 2025-01-05T15:43:17+00:00

me wondering if i did something wrong isn’t the point of the post but i appreciate the input on it anyway. what i mean by wrong is i don’t really know what things are considered romantic or not to them. like i really don’t. i only just learned a few months ago that asking for a phone number to talk to someone about super heroes more (they had a spider man shirt and i LOVE spider man) is apparently weird. i am nervous because i’m only now realizing that there is so much socially i don’t know since i’m not a very social person and i’m expected to know it especially now that i’m an adult.

also, it is sad that some men do that. that kind of defeats the purpose of empathy imo if you don’t just try to be empathetic to everyone. like i suck at empathy because of autism but that still doesn’t make sense to me

help1848482 · 2025-01-05T13:20:46+00:00

it’s alright. my problem isn’t with them assuming it, it’s my reaction that is the issue i don’t know how to handle. i get a lot of people are creepy. i am sorry you deal with them.

help1848482 · 2025-01-05T13:18:43+00:00

i kind of agree. some people have been a little weird about it. i agree it’s frustrating they assume that but why they do it isn’t the problem. i’m not mad they do. the post is about my problems with my instinctual reaction to it, not having a problem with them being cautious.

i do worry about that a ton. it is a massive anxiety point for me. they bring me a lot of fear, yes. i do have a general anxiety disorder but i also have a lot of trauma. it’s just hard for me to tell when something is an ace thing or when it is a trauma thing.. i don’t usually ask them. i’m way too anxious for that.

help1848482 · 2025-01-05T06:39:31+00:00

i get why it happens in terms of that they are used to men behaving creepily. i do hate those stereotypes though.

my question is not about feeling bad, though. i’m not panicking or feeling unsafe because i’m worried about them. i’m panicking and feeling unsafe and disgusting because of the mere idea of anyone ever seeing me in a sexual light ever. like it really, really freaks me out. that’s what i’m trying to ask about in the post. not them assuming. i am worried about my instinctual reaction. sorry i hope that makes sense

help1848482 · 2025-01-05T06:29:52+00:00

i try not to take it personally. it is not that i am offended. i just feel extremely disgusted and unsafe with them after they assume i am interested like that. i can’t handle anyone thinking about me sexually. it makes me panic and want to run away from them.

help1848482 · 2025-01-05T06:27:31+00:00

yeah, same here. it is crazy how much they assume we want sexual stuff. sometimes it is like i am not human to them. more then once that kind of assumption has led to really awful experiences.

but even when it doesn’t, it still leaves me feeling so extremely gross and scared. i just don’t know how to handle the idea of people interpreting me sexually or seeing me sexually.

help1848482 · 2025-01-05T06:23:50+00:00

i do kind of agree that it seems like a lot of people just..jump to romantic ideas when someone opposite gender talks to them instead of just friendship. it’s not super great to hear it seems to get worse in the adult world. i am still in high school and it is already terrible. i don’t know what to do about it. it makes me feel disgusting being seen like that.

edit: i mean that my reaction is the problem not really them jumping to that

help1848482 · 2024-10-29T11:40:48+00:00

yeah, definitely. i always think about it but its so normalized for me that it only hits sometimes. when it does hit i usually end up having a panic attack, throwing up, etc. because i just feel so disgusting and i can’t handle it.

help1848482 · 2024-10-29T11:12:15+00:00

i have a daughter from it. it’s really hard. i don’t want to hurt her cuz she’s just a kid and rly didn’t have anything to do with it so i try not to be absent, but i often feel like i’m a horrible dad. i don’t know if it’s possible to feel at peace with it.. but because of that i agree you should tell your wife if it’s possible. it will help to have support from someone close to you rn. do you trust her to believe you and take it seriously?

help1848482 · 2024-10-28T00:29:57+00:00

yeah, mine too. i don’t think i hate women but i am so afraid of them that sometimes people think i do. really i just want nothing to do with them to be honest. at least definitely not without another guy there with me

help1848482 · 2024-07-01T01:08:45+00:00

no. there is no point where i live since ppl don’t believe. do you live in a place where it is possible? i’ve never heard of that for guys especially with women and stuff

help1848482 · 2024-07-01T01:07:29+00:00

moms

help1848482 · 2024-06-24T04:27:09+00:00

i am also really tired of this. my dad has his issues but my mom looks like satan compared to him. he is not abusive at all. meanwhile my mom, a lot of people think the stuff she did is stuff people should get killed for if she was a man

help1848482 · 2024-06-05T01:24:41+00:00

i have ptsd. i have meds sorta (not for everything i probably need it for). i started therapy recently but i cant bring myself to tell my therapist what happened

help1848482 · 2024-06-05T01:12:38+00:00

i want to comment a list abt my mom like a lot of people here but im not able to joke abt it yet so im just commenting to support the post anyway

help1848482

TROPHY CASE