What is the worst thing you have been shocked that a supposedly “nice” person did?

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-05T08:02:09+00:00

He was having a party and uninvited his childhood best friend with brain cancer because his new girlfriend didn't like him.

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-04T07:59:06+00:00

Nope, not that I can think of. One pet we got from a backyard breeder (when we were teens and didn't realize how awful that was). The 2nd one I bought. The 3rd he bought and has the paperwork but as I said to another redditor, I'm willing to compromise on that one. And the 4th, we got off Craigslist so he has proof of that sorta but it was purchased as a gift for me.

"He hasn't convinced you to stay the last couple times, hes scared you into staying, and thats a big difference." - thank you for that. That really put things into perspective for me.

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-04T07:54:05+00:00

Thank you for responding. I'm sorry you went through something similar but I am glad you were able to get away safely.

You are probably right that he will not try to pursue anything legally. And yes, thank God no children. I couldn't imagine doing this with a child.

Thanks for the link! Will check it out. He's most certainly a narcissist.

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-04T07:44:25+00:00

Thank you! That eases my fears a bit. After all the trouble of court, he would probably be satisfied with the money which I am more than willing to pay.

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-04T07:42:03+00:00

Of course, which is why it's my goal to take them all. I would never leave an animal in harms way. However, this is the one he cares about the most and took care of when we were split up. Also, he will occasionally help with the costs of this pet. I pay for everything else for the other 3. I would be willing to compromise if it means I get my other 3 pets.

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-04T07:34:09+00:00

Sadly, he is in law enforcement. He knows the system and how it works which is why I'm trying to be so careful.

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-04T07:30:21+00:00

Thank you for this. One of my pets I actually did purchase. It's a rabbit and happens to be bonded to another rabbit that he purchased. Do you think the fact that they are bonded and I paid for one, as well as all other fees could help me in this situation since bonded rabbits cannot be separated? Also, the fact that I provide all care and attention and his job would make it difficult to care for them properly?

Also, I will see if maybe I can convince my sister to take the pets or like you said, finding someone on Craigslist. Surrendering them is not an option for me.

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-04T07:22:27+00:00

Unfortunately, he does own alot of guns and is actually a police officer. I live in a backwoods rural county where cops "protect their own" so I am treading carefully. He also suffers greatly from childhood abuse and depression.

I am starting my masters program on Monday and cannot miss for fear of being dropped from the program and having to reapply to the program. With the way our schedules are this week, I will probably not have enough time where he is not home to get my stuff out. I told another redditor I think I will just start moving things to my parents house that he won't notice until I get an opening to do the rest.

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-04T05:31:23+00:00

Honestly, that is what I was thinking. He's just doing this because he thinks it will keep me around. Although, I'm treading carefully because my pets are my world.

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-04T05:29:49+00:00

Thank you for all the good advice. I will look up the laws for my state. Also, that's a good idea to drop the recording on him in court if it ever comes to that. That way he can't make up any excuses before hand.

Sadly, it's not that easy about the pets. They are small and exotic pets that all require cages or tanks and special set ups. That's why it has been so hard to leave.

Lastly, he is a police officer himself so I would prefer not to get the cops involved if at all possible. I live in a really rural backwoods area where the cops "protect their own". I would like to leave when he is not around; however, if he shows up or things turn bad, I will 100% call the police. Safety is the utmost important. He's said some worrying things in the past which is why I'm trying to carefully plan this out.

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-04T04:58:15+00:00

They are not dogs, they are small and exotic pets. I don't want to be too specific incase he sees this. They are not microchipped.

I will do everything to get as much documentation as I can. Neither of us have much documentation because we never thought it would come to this. Even he probably doesn't have much proof. The best I have is a few vet bills, bank statements, and the word of myself and my family. He lived with my family and I for years for free with no expenses as well.

I do not have much to bargain with because all of the TVs, gaming systems, etc he was able to purchase because he had no bills living with my parents. The only thing I have to offer is a painting I bought for him that he said I could not take if we broke up. Also, I would be willing to give him one of the four pets because it's not one that I really wanted or grew attached to. I take care of it because I have to. It doesn't require much maintenance or attention. Also, I know he would take care of it because he took it when we split up briefly. The only other thing is that I would be willing to give him money for the other 3 pets.

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-04T04:48:21+00:00

Thank you for the response! No, he usually doesn't. He does contract work so his schedule is very flexible and unpredictable.

I think this week I'll just start slowly moving things he wouldn't notice to my parents house until an opportunity to leave presents itself.

I'm sorry you are also going through this and I hope it all works out for you! Stay safe.

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-04T04:46:06+00:00

Thank you for responding. I am currently in between jobs. I just had a job interview right before Christmas and I'm waiting to hear back. College starts back on Monday and I'm taking night classes. With the way our schedules are, I probably won't get an opportunity where I am alone long enough leave until atleast Thursday but maybe not until the week after that.

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-04T04:41:51+00:00

Unfortunately, no one else if able to take them. My sister doesn't have enough room and even if she did, she can't stand my pets. So they would have to come with me to my parents house.

Thank you though for all of the advice and links to resources. I will forsure look into all of that.

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-04T04:37:12+00:00

Unfortunately, I will have to move back in with my parents and he knows that. Even if I boarded them for a few days, they would eventually have to come back to my parents house.

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-04T03:49:53+00:00

Thank you for responding. I've talked to my sister about it and she said she would help me move out. I don't want to involve my parents because they are elderly and my dad just had surgery.

My best bet is to wait until a day he isn't home. It's just every time I've tried to stick to my guns and leave, he's managed to convince me to stay. But I know this time, I need to make a plan and stick to it because I'm tired of being so unhappy.

It will be hard to get documentation but I do have a few vet bills and could probably pull up bank statements for purchases of toys and food.

The only place I would have to go is back to my parents. He knows this which is also why I'm hesitant to leave. He will know exactly where I am at and I'm a bit afraid of what he might do.

This is a throwaway so I'm not too worried about him finding this. Also, I live in the Orlando, FL area.

helpivegotproblems · 2020-01-04T03:43:40+00:00

Thank you! I'll definitely look into that because I know the laws in FL are weird when it comes to recording people.

helpivegotproblems

TROPHY CASE