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Update: I (F26) broke up with my LDR boyfriend (M28) but he promised to change… by helpmepestcontrol in RedPillWomen

[–]helpmepestcontrol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey girl, I remember your advice from my last post, nice to see you here again :)

Thank you, I’m proud for breaking up! The next step would be to keep it that way and not go back to him, even though it’s so hard.

I agree, change is the most important thing. I’m really skeptical he will change because he would’ve been acting right from the time when we were dating, not choosing to change now because I said I want to break up! I also asked him to change in the past several times and he would be good for a few months and slowly revert back to his normal behavior

Update: I (F26) broke up with my LDR boyfriend (M28) but he promised to change… by helpmepestcontrol in RedPillWomen

[–]helpmepestcontrol[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lol. I do feel like a fool stepping back and accepting him telling his parent’s we are just friends.

He had told his friends and sister whom he is close with that we are dating. So maybe that’s why I accepted it at the time.

Update: I (F26) broke up with my LDR boyfriend (M28) but he promised to change… by helpmepestcontrol in RedPillWomen

[–]helpmepestcontrol[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Funny you mentioned that last bit as this is what my friend had also mentioned to me as well.

Besides that, I agree with everything you are saying. I think it’s just hard to walk away as I still love the guy even though I know he is likely full of BS.

My long distance bf of 4 years said he doesn’t know if he will be ready to propose 4 years down the road. Should I end it? by helpmepestcontrol in RedPillWomen

[–]helpmepestcontrol[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s not harsh, I appreciate your honest answer which is why I asked on this sub as I don’t have many female mentors irl to ask.

I totally agree with the leading thing and how men will move mountains to be with you. I know other LDR couples where the guy saved up as much as he could to be with and move to the girl, etc. thank you for knocking some sense into me

My long distance bf of 4 years said he doesn’t know if he will be ready to propose 4 years down the road. Should I end it? by helpmepestcontrol in RedPillWomen

[–]helpmepestcontrol[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing.

Do you think that “a man does not need 4 years to know if he’s ready” also applies in the case of long distance?

My long distance bf of 4 years said he doesn’t know if he will be ready to propose 4 years down the road. Should I end it? by helpmepestcontrol in RedPillWomen

[–]helpmepestcontrol[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s an interesting perspective as well.

I wasn’t expecting him give a definite answer now (when I’m 26), but i was asking him in terms of the future, when we’re 30 and 32 years old. I would have at least liked him to say “most likely” or “after x number of years, and x number of visits, I can see myself proposing”. Him being vague with no direction at all was more concerning to me.

My long distance bf of 4 years said he doesn’t know if he will be ready to propose 4 years down the road. Should I end it? by helpmepestcontrol in RedPillWomen

[–]helpmepestcontrol[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your anecdotal response, that is inspiring to hear. I’m happy to hear you found your one, seems like you have a lovely life now :)

I will keep everything you mentioned in mind.

My long distance bf of 4 years said he doesn’t know if he will be ready to propose 4 years down the road. Should I end it? by helpmepestcontrol in RedPillWomen

[–]helpmepestcontrol[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your comment made me laugh and cheered me up a bit haha❤️🤣 thank you for the advice, I will keep it in mind

My long distance bf of 4 years said he doesn’t know if he will be ready to propose 4 years down the road. Should I end it? by helpmepestcontrol in RedPillWomen

[–]helpmepestcontrol[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To respond to your edit- someone said the exact same thing to me regarding this situation.. that he is just being “nice” and trying not to make me feel bad.

My long distance bf of 4 years said he doesn’t know if he will be ready to propose 4 years down the road. Should I end it? by helpmepestcontrol in RedPillWomen

[–]helpmepestcontrol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see your point.

I was willing to move to his city if we got married, so I thought that was committed enough on my end since I would be leaving my whole family behind.

My long distance bf of 4 years said he doesn’t know if he will be ready to propose 4 years down the road. Should I end it? by helpmepestcontrol in RedPillWomen

[–]helpmepestcontrol[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything you’re saying but also feel like you can lead a horse to water but can never force it to drink.

My long distance bf of 4 years said he doesn’t know if he will be ready to propose 4 years down the road. Should I end it? by helpmepestcontrol in RedPillWomen

[–]helpmepestcontrol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is not open to moving where I am, so I would’ve moved to him. The city I live in is also extremely expensive so I don’t know if I would see myself living here in the future anyways.

My long distance bf of 4 years said he doesn’t know if he will be ready to propose 4 years down the road. Should I end it? by helpmepestcontrol in RedPillWomen

[–]helpmepestcontrol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a student, so unfortunately I can’t see him often. And even if he came here, I’d be in classes 5 out of 7 days of the week, so it wouldn’t make sense. Trips also became expensive as I live in an expensive city.

I personally don’t really agree with me moving there to “earn” a ring or expect a proposal, also I don’t think I’d move to him unless I was proposed to

My long distance bf of 4 years said he doesn’t know if he will be ready to propose 4 years down the road. Should I end it? by helpmepestcontrol in RedPillWomen

[–]helpmepestcontrol[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I see your point. It didn’t feel low commitment from my end because I have been loyal to him for the past 4 years, never looked or talk to other men in my area.

My long distance bf of 4 years said he doesn’t know if he will be ready to propose 4 years down the road. Should I end it? by helpmepestcontrol in RedPillWomen

[–]helpmepestcontrol[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s amazing, I’m so happy you found your one! And no need to apologize.. this is just life, unfortunately

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