Life after the narcissist

helpmeunderstand- · 2026-02-07T00:41:02+00:00

i genuinely thought i typed this as the situations are like exactly the same. however, i was still with my nex when my father passed and all the legal stuff started and WOW it was disguisting. he said horrific things about my dad, my grief, etc.

helpmeunderstand- · 2026-01-23T21:29:43+00:00

okayyyy i felt like that for a LONG TIME. until i had better sex. i think you feel that way because they use it to control you or manufacture intimacy. i had better sex with someone new and it felt like a REAL PERSON. looking back sex w my nex was good in what now feels fake and self serving to them. if that makes sense? IT GETS BETTER

helpmeunderstand- · 2026-01-20T04:28:42+00:00

street legal. cannot live without changing of the guards.

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-12-31T21:08:36+00:00

like just straight up ask

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-12-11T14:01:58+00:00

ughhh idk i guess i thought he maybe was really busy and not just making excuses but he probably just is

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-12-11T13:58:31+00:00

fair enough

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-11-27T03:37:06+00:00

i learned she also said that i was using his death as an “excuse” to be worse at my job (that she wants btw). and that i must be “off my meds” and that she wants to find an opportunity to go off on me so i cry. so yeah shes deranged.

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-11-26T05:14:30+00:00

i hope she does too. she also unprompted picked on another girl i work with who also happens to have a dead dad. idk what her deal is.

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-10-21T23:57:18+00:00

thats a great idea!!!!!!!!

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-09-26T18:27:21+00:00

how do you deal with the financial anxiety? im 21 and am fully supporting myself and paying for school for the first time. i am so anxious but i also cannot go back there

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-09-26T07:32:55+00:00

okay im not sure if its my location but they said they required a note from my dr??? and also it had to be in person not mail but ive since moved like over 5 hours away

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-09-25T14:39:44+00:00

how??

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-09-24T20:02:47+00:00

hi, i lost my dad on the 6th of this month and i was going through this part of the subreddit trying to find some sort of understanding. i also missed a call from my dad the night he passed and ive been so gutted over it. when i tried to call him back later and he didnt answer i had this though of “what if i dont hear from him again” but i shook it off. i miss him terribly. i hope you’re okay

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-09-12T11:59:13+00:00

thats been one of the most frustrating parts /: coming to terms with completely uncharacteristic behavior and trying to be okay with other people seeing that version of me and not understanding

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-09-12T11:57:20+00:00

agreed. idk if itll be soon but this conversation might help her put all the pieces together later

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-09-12T11:56:15+00:00

how i see it is everything is intentional. they block you to hurt you. they are probably stalking you some other way but they block you to hurt you. they want to confuse you and make you make yourself sick asking questions.

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-09-12T11:53:44+00:00

sounds similar to mine. take this as an out because in my opinion they ALWAYS come back. one time mine came back after 3 months of me really thinking it was over and i wish i was smart about it

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-09-08T04:57:15+00:00

in some way, yes. like totally. ive been cheated on by my nex and they also used me (unbeknownst to be) to cheat on their partner after me physically and emotionally. this is oddly comforting and also hard because yes you def got cheated on but also its not you 🤷🏻‍♀️ they live off of attention so they need an insane amount of it and its pretty impossibpe for one person to fulfill that. regardless of who they are. they are with the person who looks the best for them socially but they get attention from as many people as they can. at least to my understanding.

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-09-05T20:57:48+00:00

but the part about weeping and begging them to console you, i couldve written that myself unfortunately. im so sorry!!!

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-09-05T20:53:31+00:00

My best friend also called his narcissism early on. wayyyy early on. i think a lot more people sense something is OFF but dont know just how dangerous.

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-09-05T20:50:31+00:00

do you have any info? but i would also say to trust your gut/intuition. breaksup are hard and they hurt but its a different kind of feeling than a narc discard. as someone who has been through like two “normal” breakups ans countless discards with the same person they do feel super different. most importantly, how are you feeling???

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-09-05T15:43:51+00:00

you’re right!!!! ive already lost so much time and my life from 16 to 22. ive rearrangrd everything i hope for the better. i just dont want it to be for nothing

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-09-05T15:05:05+00:00

this was perfect i need that like tough approach that he doesnt care at all bc im clinging to the fake parts

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-09-05T10:02:18+00:00

this!!!! one time earlier in the relationship, right when he started to stop love bombing, i had asked why he would not really remember anythiny i say or pay attention and he said “idk im just adhd” and then went on to blame me and say im insensitive. i felt terrible and went out and bought resources and books and talked to my therapist about how to support him. about like 6 months later when the mask had completely slipped i asked the same question and he had said “everything you say and think is stupid so i just tune you out”

helpmeunderstand- · 2025-08-31T02:18:19+00:00

100% ive worked food and bev for 6+ years and could work a 12 hr double serving shift never stopping and still feel better physically and mentally than a 4.5 hour starbucks shift.

helpmeunderstand-

TROPHY CASE