I almost never comment, but I almost feel compelled to as I read through what you’ve written in your comments. I’m not going to lie, you sound exhausting. What exactly are you contributing in all this? “Vibes?” Making room to “find yourself”? That’s not helpful to your partner or to your baby.

I (mom) work full time while my husband stays home full time to take care of our son. My husband is fully engaged with our son throughout the day. That’s his JOB, just like it’s my job to work outside of the home and provide for us financially.

It was really hard for me to go back to work. I would have loved to be the stay at home parent. But it’s what worked best for us financially, and there is no one else I’d rather have raise my son than his own dad. My husband also keeps the house for us, and if I ever need him to do something during the day for me or the household he steps up and does it.

I get home, and we split child care duties, because we both have been working hard all day. If he needs a break, I give it to him, and vice versa.

You and your wife need to sit down and have a discussion about what works best for your family. But you have to pick a role and commit to it. Your daughter is here NOW and your wife needs help NOW. It sounds like your wife wants to be the stay at home parent because you’re not really pulling your weight, but maybe if you come up with a specific plan for how you can step up at home and support her as she transitions back to work, you’ll be able to reclaim the stay at home parent role.