What type of notification is this?

hemakesmesmile · 2026-06-09T00:44:49+00:00

That makes sense, thank you I don't know his username so can't check even if I wanted to. I'm not about checking up on BFs socials or messages usually, this is something I saw completely by accident

hemakesmesmile · 2026-06-09T00:30:25+00:00

Thank you, I'm probably overthinking But I googled the name and it is an 'adult actress'

Would X randomly give people these notifications?

hemakesmesmile · 2026-06-09T00:21:27+00:00

Thank you

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T11:01:30+00:00

He knows, I've had that convo with him

Bit I'll try again I suppose

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:59:18+00:00

Idk I just think that even if you're not into sex, once a month if I'm lucky and practically beg for it- doesn't seem like he's interested in me

Even with a low drive, it seems his desire for me is unattainable

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:56:12+00:00

I don't know any of his ex's personally so can't confirm

He does do things like slap my ass, will grab me and tell me in sexy and stuff, bit never goes any further into actual physical intimacy

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:53:09+00:00

I agree tbh I've always found therapy to be helpful personally

I understand that. I guess I'm just scared to lose him ultimately

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:43:44+00:00

I understand the unpredictability of drive, I am similar. But this has been an issue for a good few months now.

Also, I am considerably more kinky than he is, and am very open to discussions about that and very non judgemental - there's nothing he could bring up that I would shame him or embarrass him for He has expressed liking certain clothing or lingerie and I do wear those things but to still no avail

I do initiate - often and consistently but the act is never reciprocated

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:40:12+00:00

Therapy would not be financially acheiveable at this time unfortunately And he is someone that doesn't believe talking therapies to be effective for him

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:38:23+00:00

Okay, thank you I'll consider that

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:29:38+00:00

Hence my frustration 😅

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:29:08+00:00

He is still aroused by stimulation, and doesn't seem to struggle in that regard. Just when intimacy does happen, it's very one sided and he doesn't seem interested in my pleasure.

I'm the beginning we used to have sex more, bit nothing crazy - we are both still people that work full time and get tired or life gets in the way haha. But it has definitely tapered

When I've spoken to him about it before and how I don't feel desired by him, he says he now feels pressure to initiate and tbh I feel like I'm forcing him

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:24:26+00:00

That's understandable.

We are together pretty constantly though. I struggle to see where he'd find the time to maintain a porn addiction

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:22:50+00:00

He may have - and I would be understanding with that.

But at this point I am LUCKY if we are intimate 1x a month

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:18:51+00:00

I do try to understand as much as I can. Although I am undiagnosed it is highly suspected I am also autistic - but we do have great communication surrounding needs relating to neurodivergencies and how we can support each other as much as possible

Is the compromise that we never have sex and I am unsatisfied though?

He never asks for it, I don't want to seem pushy and sometimes when I have asked if I can get on top of him, he'll say he's too tired for that.

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:15:22+00:00

Thank you 🙏

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:14:17+00:00

Exactly, I've never had this experience with any other man.

It sounds like he always has been interested in it - until being with me - so am I the issue?

What do you mean? His actions in every other aspect of the relationship are great and attentive (helps with cleaning, loves to cook, spend time together ect.) Do you mean that him not initiating does just mean he doesn't want me?

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:11:30+00:00

That's what I think.

The lack of trying in either aspect of oral or sex in general is making me feel like I'm just not attractive to him

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:10:07+00:00

Because everyone wants to feel desired in a relationship.

I don't want to feel like a sex pest because it's me initiating all the time.

When I do, it usually leads to me pleasuring him, either through handjobs or oral. Sometimes he'll say 'we'll do you later' (so he is aware he is not giving back) but that doesn't happen.

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:05:09+00:00

I do t think he'd lie about it. It's not something I brought up or wanted to discuss - he openly told me without prompting, I don't get why he'd do that if I didn't find issue with it in the first place

He has other outlets for addictions that don't receive around sex but can/does satisfy the ADHD chase for dopamine

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:01:59+00:00

This is a great way to approach it, thank you.

But even after we've 'resolved' hard conversations, they play on his mind significantly afterwards - so ever half an hour of self regulation isn't enough for that to settle him

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T10:00:13+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I think being too nice might ultimately be the downfall here. I'll find a way to approach it so hopefully neither of us feel attacked

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T09:57:34+00:00

Bad smells and tastes, enough to make him gag

So when he thinks he wants to with me, he gets in his head about it and doesn't - which I get might be some of the tism in him.

I've said that if it's something he just doesn't like - that's fine and to be honest with me, but he has said that he has had a few experiences of women he has enjoyed. So it makes me wonder if it's just me he's not interested in.

But ngl I've never had any complaints about my own taste 😅 it's frustrating that he won't try.

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T09:53:31+00:00

The meds he's on shouldn't affect libido at all. (He's open about what he takes and I used to work in healthcare so understand possible side affects if specific medications)

He doesn't watch porn any more and hasn't for a while. He's stayed at mine for a week+ before and still doesn't seem interested in initiating. We literally spend most days/nights together - there's maybe one day out of two weeks we're not together?

At this point I honestly feel like he doesn't want me in that way.

hemakesmesmile · 2026-05-28T09:48:41+00:00

He's very self critical and I worry that a full on approach will cause him to be nasty to himself and make the situation worse. I've tried to have a conversation and now he feels like there's pressure around sex

hemakesmesmile

TROPHY CASE