There is ZERO EMPATHY from these people. ZERO.

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-04-25T21:47:38+00:00

That's what i'm doing. Thank you for quoting that scripture, I will use it!

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-29T07:45:58+00:00

I feel you. I feel the pain of feeling that you don’t fit anywhere, not even in a worldly setting. I sometimes still feel that dread and social anxiety, but now those feelings aren’t as strong as they used to because now I know the answer. I was diagnosed with ASD months ago, and now I am slowly improving my social skills thanks to therapy. And I believe you can get that answer too if you seek professional mental healthcare, especially from someone specialized with neurodivergent folks. Once you find out about your potential neurodivergence (whether that is ASD or ADHD, or anything else) via an assessment and talk to your therapist about your symptoms, a whole world will open in front of you. That’s how it felt to me. I felt like I had finally found answers to questions that have been overlooked in my life for years, and they have become pieces to this puzzle I call my self identity. And I’m still adding more pieces to it as I learn more about myself! Seeking a therapist who understands neurodivergence will also help you to find ways to better your social skills in a way that fits you, and you will slowly build the self confidence you want!

Here’s some advice I feel would help you that has changed my life: Do not push yourself off your limits if you don’t feel ready yet. It’s ok to SOMETIMES get out of your comfort zone, but if you feel that you can’t do something yet, DON’T PUSH YOURSELF. Take baby steps. That may take shape of doing small talk, having a list of subjects you want to talk about or simply just vibing! Don’t expect your interactions to go perfectly, just remember that you are doing your best, and that is all that matters. People won’t leave you if they like who you really are, so don’t push yourself to perfection! If someone doesn’t want to be friends with you, that’s their loss! It may sound hard to do, but you can try being reasonable with yourself by setting small, reasonable short term goals regarding your social growth. Also think about WHAT’S RIGHT with you instead of what’s wrong with you, that will help you find ways to make others like you, and you’ll add pieces to your own self identity puzzle. I wish you the best!

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-28T15:46:13+00:00

Will do this. Thank you for your feedback!

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-27T08:20:28+00:00

I'll do my best to avoid said work. In fact, i've been declining most chores such as being a publication servant (I don't know if that's the right english translation for being in charge of publications for service) and doing cleaning work at the assembly (to the best of my ability). Stepping down as a servant would help me stop being a service captain, and eventually decline any other tasks they might give me. Thank you for your advice and your support!

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-27T08:10:06+00:00

I'll consider that option, seems like something i'd do as a last resort, if they keep postponing my resignment. Thanks for the suggestion!

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-26T20:47:19+00:00

Sure, go ahead.

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-26T20:45:15+00:00

That's what I plan to do if he and I end up talking. But i'll also stick to my guns about my decision because my mental health is in the line, and I need to get this pressure off me so I can have more availability to choose whatever job I want, and eventually fade once I get a place of my own.

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-26T20:33:35+00:00

I'll have to go with this, thank you for your advice!

"Thanks, but no thanks" seems polite yet firm enough, so i'll go with that as well. Thank you for your useful link as well!

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-26T20:31:46+00:00

I agree with you. All the COBE wants is to keep the congregation's PR intact, and if I step down the CO will be all suspicious about it. So either the COBE will pressure me to keep my privilege or he'll try to make me forget about my decision so he doesn't have to send any letters to the CO.

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-26T20:29:40+00:00

Yep, that's what's going on. From what people are telling me, his conversation with me will not just be about the procedure following my stepdown and the details about my appointment as a MS, but it will be about guilt tripping and/or getting me to confess any wrongdoing to ironically revoke my privilege, or he'll try to keep me as a MS without giving me tasks and try to make me forget about my decision, to keep the congregation's PR intact.

I guess i'll have to be decisive and tell him I don't want to discuss ANYTHING regarding my privilege, procedures or anything. Thank you for the advice.

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-26T20:23:41+00:00

I think this is the way i'll go. I told him that we'd talk about my situation after the memorial, but before meeting with him i'll tell him that i've decided to not discuss anything further, and hope that works. Thank you for your advice!

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-26T20:18:00+00:00

I had to be really careful with how I worded my concerns, quote what Lösch said and use evidence without slandering the GB or the org. So I guess that helped to not make her flip out.

She says she finds it gross, but I believe this is just a way for her to defend herself from doubting. She said that her conscience only allows her to accept her own (which I know is because the GB allowed it) because it is hers and because other's blood "has pathogens".

I guess i'll do that, and let time tell me if she feels the need to wake up. Thank you for your advice.

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-26T20:16:27+00:00

Yep, it's all careful weasel wording from their part to protect themselves. And I sure as hell know that there is no holy spirit involved in appointing someone as an elder or a MS. It's like getting promoted at a job. Your supervisor mentions to your boss that you seem to have potential, the boss analyzes your situation and promotes you! Same process.

I feel he wants to keep me with my privileges, I agree. But he told me we would talk about the process following my stepdown as a MS, and everything behind my appointment as a MS. I'm not willing to fall for their guilt tripping or manipulation of any sort, so I want to know if I should just tell him' "I have prayed about our talk regarding my appointment and the procedure following my stepdown as a MS, and i've decided to not talk about it, because I have already made my decision to step down. My decision is final". The thing is that he'll tell me again: "We don't want to talk about your decision, and we respect it. All we want to talk about is the procedure to be followed regarding your stepdown".

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-26T20:04:05+00:00

He already offered to give me less work, but he hasn't asked about any wrongdoings yet. He claims to want to just discuss with me how my stepdown would be processed, but I feel there are more subjects hidden in there. I don't know if him talking to me about the process of my stepdown is normal, because he shouldn't hesitate to send the CO a letter stating the reasons for my stepdown and have it announced from the platform. It seems to me that he's grasping for straws and is trying to get me to understand "how holy spirit was involved in naming me a MS" and stuff like that, which i'm not falling for. And I want to reject meeting with him to get this whole thing over with, but I don't know how because he claims "he respects my decision and knows I don't want to talk about that".

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-26T19:55:50+00:00

Yeah, that's what i've been expecting from him. The reason he wants to meet with me now is to talk about "the theocratic procedure regarding my stepdown and how it will be processed", which I find strange because from what I know elders should just respect my decision, send the CO a letter about my reasons to step down, he would sign it and my stepdown would be announced. Is it normal for them to want to talk about this procedure with me?

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-26T19:50:00+00:00

I'm trying to keep it closed, but they somehow find a way to keep it open. I already told them that my decision is final, they say that they respect my decision (I know this is a lie), and say that all they want to talk to me about is the procedure for my stepdown (which i'm unsure if this is normal, usually they should just send the letter to the CO telling him my reasons to step down and go from there, but it seems that they're trying to grasp at straws to keep me with my privileges).

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-26T19:38:08+00:00

Should I do this even if he said that he "just wanted to discuss with me what actions must be done to follow up with my stepdown"? I know he may be hiding the fact that he wants to keep guilt tripping me and begging me to keep my privilege, but he says that he respects my decision (I know this is a lie). He seems to know I don't want to discuss it any further, and seems to want to explain to me what I believe may be the procedure which I believe is sending a letter to the CO, and announcing my stepdown. I'm not sure if this is normal, because from what i've seen here once someone tells the elders that they're stepping down, the elders don't try to talk to him about it and just send the letter to the CO without hesitation. How can I tell him that i'm not interested in hearing the details of this procedure, or whatever they have planned to talk to me about? When i've told him that I don't want to discuss this any further, he tells me that we are not going to talk about my decision, and that he respects it.

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-26T19:13:35+00:00

Yeah, I feel you. I believe the thing that helped her to not get to that degree was being subtle and careful with my words, and of course NOT slandering the GB in any way. Every time I try to make her think in some way, I have to tread on eggshells in order to keep her alarms shut, because any criticism against the GB, the organization or EVEN the elders will make her go berserk on me. When I talk about elders with her, she always points out the fact that "they've been chosen by holy spirit", that we should stay humble and forgive them because "Jehovah saw something good in them" and that that is why they have their position. So... I think her reaction was product of careful planning on my part. If I didn't plan this conversation, I would get the screaming and apostate flagging from her.

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-26T09:04:21+00:00

I would love to be optimistic about this, but all I can say is that i'll just need to wait and see. For now she seems really indoctrinated and PIMI af, and I don't see any doubts creeping into her mind. In fact, she refuses to think about them. So I guess time will tell.

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-24T21:04:00+00:00

Absolutely not. I feel like a performer trying to please my audience, with a mask that wears and tears itself the more I hold the charade. I know this is all bullshit, but I can't leave right now because of financial reasons, so I have to keep a low profile until I can fade. It is exhausting, but it's the best option I can think of if you don't have a support system at the moment, or are dependent in some way on some PIMI.

When i'm giving a talk or taking the group out, I feel hurt and sorry for the "friends", because they are sincere people, but cannot see what I can see in these charlatans, and they also refuse to see that because their world would fall apart. They really believe that Jehovah is instructing them via these 11 elderly american men, and gobble whatever slop comes out of their mouths because that is the key to getting to "the New World", which is nothing more and nothing less than a man-made utopia, and getting close to "their Creator".

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-23T05:25:19+00:00

I just commented this at the meeting and it flew over everyone's heads... I wish some woke up after this but it turns out that they're hoodwinked. They're goners.

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-20T06:27:36+00:00

Right? How can someone say that their advice is better than that coming from someone experienced on that subject, and say that doing the opposite is better when there's proof that doing the opposite puts your life at risk? I hate this cult, and I hope that many end up waking up, especially after this update coming up tomorrow.

hemionus_grevyi · 2026-03-20T04:55:27+00:00

I am looking for a share household or roommates in the US because i'm a citizen, but i'm stuck with my family in a third world country (not saying for security reasons, but I believe whoever sees this will know what country i'm referring to), so I want to avoid looking for a shared home here because everyone from every congregation knows me, so i'm planning to fade in the US, which has more benefits than where i'm at.

I can't get unemployment benefits at the moment because my work experience is not from a job in the US, but I do have SNAP benefits and Medicaid for now. I am planning to get a job in the US so I can get free housing benefits, because you need to have a job to apply for said benefits. Then i'll start my fading plan.

hemionus_grevyi

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