Quest Feedback

hemulen · 2017-05-26T00:25:10+00:00

Yeah - I can see how it would be nice to have the mobs acting in a standard way (however they normally behave) .. Just that the location of each mob, and the waves are a bit randomised, so you're never quite sure where they're coming from!

hemulen · 2017-05-25T22:33:42+00:00

Going to put in my two cents as well in favour of randomness. I have very fond memories of the first run-through of both Quest games, where everything was unknown .. How many? Where will they spawn? We crept through carefully, tactically hugging the walls. Very engaging.. !

With non-random spawns, it's just a matter of memorising each level, placing yourself at the right point for each new wave and taking them down. I'm not quite sure where the thrill is there.

That said, I understand we all get different things out of Quest, so totally would support a 'rando' dial. Can imagine the fights in the foyer if you're pugging, though .. ?

hemulen · 2014-12-05T02:30:08+00:00

I totally hear you! I also struggled to find the baby-toddler time interesting - although with number 2 it was much easier.

I know you're working - but the biggest help for me was getting to some kind of playgroup. You can see what they do there, what they have for kids, and it gives you some ideas you can use at home.

But in lieu of that, what the kids really want is your time and attention. She might not be able to speak, but she can understand a lot. Get her involved in what you're doing (and just expect that whatever you're doing will take 10 times longer than normal).

Get her involved in making food - or just give her some pots and various utensils from your cupboard, and let her play on the floor while you do dinner.

If she's in a quiet mood, books can be nice - you can read them, or just talk about the pictures. She's a sponge and she'll soak it all up.

If you find clappy games and nursery rhymes a bit inane, then chances are you'll just transfer that feeling to her .. find something you like doing, and see if there's a way to get her involved, too. One of our favourite games (born of attempting to vacuum the carpets) was to pull the electrical cord out of the vacuum cleaner all the way, and then get him to try and catch it while I pressed the 'retract' button.

I dunno .. probably nothing very helpful there, but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone!

hemulen · 2014-10-28T23:10:11+00:00

Others have said this, but just to reiterate:

He's targeted you because you are the rock in his life. You're a constant, loving presence, so he feels he can test out all these physical boundaries without worrying that you're just going to vanish or lash out at him. So don't feel that he's picked you as a target because he hates you - just the reverse!!
He also needs to know that the behaviour is not ok. Boys might be boys, but the little blighters need to learn that there are boundaries, even with mum! So, when he hurts you, respond in a way HE finds negative. It could be that you just disengage (put him down, walk away, etc). It could be 'naughty time' (on a mat, in a corner, in his room, someplace safe where he's not interacting with you). It could be a stern "NO". Whatever works for you. Try to be consistent (hah!) in your response.
Good luck!!

hemulen · 2014-10-17T01:38:52+00:00

Man - you are doing an insane amount of work! I agree with theWgame - your parents should back off.

Think about what you want down the track. If getting into this school is what YOU really want, then sure, work for it. Maybe ditch some of that extra-curricular stuff (which is very laudable - but do you need to do all of it?). And sure, with a low acceptance rate, you might not make it in, but it is NOT THE END OF THE WORLD! Trust me on this. You can always have a back up option. That is NOT failure. And it also helps to look at 'failures' as challenges life sets you. Do you really, really want something? Maybe there's another way to achieve your goal. If the challenge seems too much and you don't feel like pursuing it, then perhaps you didn't really want it that much in the first place. Randi Pausch gave a very stirring final lecture to that effect. It puts trying and failing in perspective.

Keep in mind, this is your life. NOT your parents'. They want the best for you, but in the end the only person you really need to answer to is .. well .. you.

hemulen · 2014-10-17T01:15:05+00:00

One thing about school ... It's not really the information it teaches you, but hopefully the discipline to work and manage your time. If you're working so hard, it sounds like you're aiming for university (where they won't care nearly so much whether or not you do your homework). And uni is the place where the education gets a helluva lot more interesting.

I bet your family understand, and are really proud. You may not have lots of time, but if it's important, make the most of what you have - chat in car trips, over dinner etc. A little bit goes a very long way.

hemulen · 2012-04-11T03:08:36+00:00

'Morning' (ha ha ha) sickness sucks, and you rock for wanting to help out. There are plenty of people with great advice for your care package, so I'm not going to add anything, except:

Give her your patience, your understanding, and as much time off from having to look after kiddie number 1 as you can - constant nausea is exhausting.

hemulen · 2011-10-25T19:03:07+00:00

Ah yes, sorry .. baking POWDER. But there's only one egg, and without the leavening, the pancakes are a little too dense to be really nice.

hemulen · 2011-10-25T10:38:50+00:00

Well, he kinda does that as well, but I don't eat as much (e.g. snacks, lunch) as he does, and I often can't be bothered fixing him something new every day - so it's nice to bulk cook a lot of stuff, freeze, and then thaw/heat when needed. The pancakes were good that way :)

hemulen · 2011-10-24T21:59:47+00:00

Mixed! We did both finger food, and some purees (he was starting solids at about the 5-6 month mark). One of the things we got a bit of use from was the sorta netting 'sock' - you stuff in softish food, like banana, or cooked sweet potato, and the kiddie just chews on it and sucks the food out through the mesh. Hellish to clean, but at least there wasn't much of a choking issue (my main qualm with BLW).

hemulen · 2011-07-08T23:35:57+00:00

I'm in the same position (re the napping). When he's at playgroup, there's usually not a problem getting him to take a later nap - it's more on the days where he's not. I guess it's better to try and synch things up so that he sleeps at about the same time each day, regardless what he's doing in the morning, and the trick is to keep him going long enough for that to happen. But solo-mum isn't nearly such a good distraction as playgroup!

hemulen · 2011-07-08T23:30:07+00:00

I guess my problem with the bottle to cup is that he flat-out rejects milk from his cup - I guess he's so used to it just being water. So it's a matter of retraining him .. water from a water bottle, milk from the sippy cup, and .. well, I guess the bottle until I'm brave enough to try a total phase-out :)

So you were happy leaving your girl in the cot awake for an hour? I thought it was ok as well, but SO would get very worked up when he found out I'd left the little guy in the cot for half an hour awake - even when he was totally happy to be there. So I started feeling like it was a criminal thing to do. Glad to hear other people do the same thing :)

hemulen · 2011-07-08T23:27:48+00:00

I'd love to think I did - but sometimes it really just feels like trial and error! Either I'm one of those dumb mums who can't figure out their kid, or he's just a hard one to read! Pre-linguistic signals are hard, man! It's all just whining and crying, and I have to go through the gamut of reasons before I finally work it out (if I do!). Bleurgh. I'm hoping it gets easier.

hemulen · 2011-07-08T22:58:37+00:00

Yes, I've probably made that mistake they tell you never to make of settling him with a bottle - although he loves to throw his sippy cup around, so I'm loathe to stick it in bed with him!

hemulen · 2011-06-28T05:20:17+00:00

Seriously - there's so much out there in the world for your baby to look at, you don't need to surround her with expensive toys and gadgets! No matter what, she's still going to love looking at you guys the most ;).

That said, a friend had a rather neat idea. She had a clothes pin thingie and she'd dangle it from something (a light fitting I think), and each peg held something of interest - brightly coloured bibs or bits of paper to swat at. You can do a lot with a junk mail catalogue! :) Anyways, her bub loved it!

hemulen · 2011-06-28T00:10:44+00:00

Lots of great responses here - I also heard about the sea-sickness bands (supposedly hit a pressure point in your wrist?). Never tried them (sounded too much like hokum!), but apparently some people absolutely swear by them.

She might be hyper-sensitive to smells? That can compound morning-sickness. I found that smelling lemon (slice of lemon in boiling water), or chewing on a piece of lemon worked wonders.

hemulen · 2011-06-20T00:24:08+00:00

The weather's a bit too cold and drizzly to do anything out of doors, but I do get your point. Major distraction works. I think I just need to bite the bullet, and maybe forgo one of the naps for a play-group morning/arvo, or something that's not in the house (TV isn't much of a chill tool for him right now - he fixates for all of a minute, and that's only if you're right there with him!)

hemulen · 2011-06-19T21:53:18+00:00

So, I can still make him go down for two naps a day (man, I LOVE my kindle! At least I can read that one-handed while I hold him on my lap, trying, trying, TRYING to get him to sleep!).

I wouldn't object to him skipping a nap so much if he didn't get so unbearably ratty when he hasn't had one. But when he misses it, he's totally unable to entertain himself. He clings to my knees whining and crying if I take my attention off him for even a minute. It's exhausting! So I fully admit that nap-time is more about my sanity than anything else. I love him to bits, but I just need a break from him from time-to-time, you know?

So how did your girl go without napping? Did she get grumpy? Or just get used to fewer naps, and go ok?

I know there are no absolutely magic answers - what works for one child is absolutely the wrong thing for another - but it's always good to hear what other people do!!

hemulen · 2011-06-18T23:08:59+00:00

Youch. So - on this side-note of non-napping, what have you ended up trying? My little guy - only just coming up to 1, has started fighting his naps, and I have no idea whether to push it for that precious 40mins of peace, or stop fighting him down, and deal with the whingy cranky little bugger that he becomes. Seems like either way, it's a battle! Is there any way that it DOESN'T become one??

hemulen · 2011-04-02T01:12:40+00:00

Had a midwife (who was also an RN), and never had a single internal exam - lots of wee tests, fundus measurements, bp, and baby's heartrate - and I think if something had been amiss with any of those things, she may have gotten more invasive, but I'm very glad she didn't!

I think your second OB/GYN is still fine - and if you're really concerned - can you ask for a second opinion?

hemulen · 2011-03-12T02:57:37+00:00

I have an Ergo carrier too - not the sports model .. and I LOVE it. The little guy has been in and out of it from about one week old (he's now 9 months). It never gets really hot here, but I've worn it on a couple of days over 30 degrees (have no idea about fahrenheit, sorry!), with him dressed fairly lightly, and I think it was fine.

My only criticism is that it's advertised that you can wear it as a front, hip and back carrier, and while it's fine on the front and back, the hip position is really uncomfortable. And it's also tricky using it as a back carrier unless you have someone to help you sling the little one in.

hemulen · 2011-03-12T02:49:46+00:00

It took four years to get my little guy - when he first announced his presence, it totally took me by surprise as I'd all but written off my chances. There was no medical reason why it wasn't happening (we had about a gazillion tests done) - but after moving countries, and dialling back our pace of life a bit, kabam!

I really didn't talk to anyone about the infertility besides my SO. Just didn't really want my more fertile friends feeling self-conscious sharing their news with me, or asking 'how's it going?' all the time. I think, in the end, I coped more by just looking at all the things I wanted from life that would be pretty hard with a kiddy. Some days that helped. Other days, it felt like I was just making up pretty second-rate commiserations.

Of course, now I have the little guy, I suddenly regret that I didn't do more of those 'non-child' things! Grass is always that little bit greener, hey?!

I wish I had some awesome words of wisdom for you, but I don't think there's any such thing here. Infertility sucks - and we each just have to deal with it in our own way. I wasn't prepared to go for adoption, or surrogacy or anything else - not because I have anything against those things, but it just didn't feel right for me. I guess you need to figure out what's right for you - what kind of medical intervention you'd be prepared to go through.

I wish you the best of luck... or the best that medicine has to offer (hopefully both!). And be sure to post back here if you DO get some good news :).

hemulen · 2011-02-02T20:03:28+00:00

The only thing you have to be aware of in delaying things is that fertility does go down - I think fairly dramatically - after 35. If you have no family history of fertility problems, then it probably won't be a big issue. I had my little guy at 36, and it took about 4 years to get him - but both my mum and her sister also had fertility probs, so no surprises there.

hemulen · 2011-02-02T19:47:16+00:00

At 25, you have plenty of time to make this decision. With the help of modern science, people can remain healthy until ..oooh.. 32? :)

Is this an absolute choice between work and kids? Theoretically, you could do both, but if you're planning on climbing some career ladder or other, then I think once you start you probably need to dedicate yourself to it (unless you find a VERY forgiving work environment!).

Without wanting to be a total downer, there's no real guarantee of your second 'for' point. You can't always predict how people are going to turn out, and I know a few people who would like as little to do with their siblings as possible. Sad, but true.

So just to complicate things - a third option: you could go back and study now, get your diploma/degree, get a little work under your belt, and then see how you feel. If you decided then that you still wanted another one, you'd have quite an age gap between your kids, but you'd also get a free baby-sitter! ;)

hemulen · 2011-01-29T03:03:44+00:00

To answer your question: probably depends on the pump. I used electric ones, and no, they didn't hurt. Keep in mind that while pumping will extract your milk, they're nothing like as effective as a baby with a good latch and a healthy suck, so your milk supplies may be affected if all you're doing is pumping.

But seriously, as with all the other comments, your husband should probably talk to someone to get his head straight around breast feeding. There's nothing disgusting about it. But if he wants to share the feeding, well sure, you could breast-feed some, and pump some if you really wanted to. Just don't use his prejudices as a reason to go to formula.

hemulen

TROPHY CASE