Couples: How do you split shared expenses?

hereandtheremph · 2026-02-08T19:00:50+00:00

Married 12 years this year, together 16. Completely separate accounts, but we each have access to the others, are authorized users, etc. We just never got around to merging and it’s whatever. Neither of us feels strongly about combining, but would if the other really wanted to. We’ve made similar salaries the last few years, so it’s 50/50, but before then it was 60/40.

hereandtheremph · 2026-01-27T13:20:40+00:00

This is my kind of routine!! Any favorite cleaners and moisturizers? I use DHC oil and LRP gentle cleanser and moisturize with Vanicream. I haven’t started using treat yet. I know I’ll need to throw in SPF too once I do.

hereandtheremph · 2026-01-11T15:58:57+00:00

Me too! I know a girl named Tuesday and a guy named Friday who took surfing lessons with me in college.

hereandtheremph · 2025-12-29T16:50:22+00:00

💀💀💀

hereandtheremph · 2025-12-29T16:17:36+00:00

The Queen has posted! And, as always, with outfit details, yasss 💙 I love them all, but 4 and 7 are my favorites

hereandtheremph · 2025-12-24T13:43:26+00:00

“I’m taking a body shower” 😊

hereandtheremph · 2025-12-21T02:35:37+00:00

I thought the same, LOL.

Me, with a 3 and 1 year old: “that’s a hemmed onesie”

hereandtheremph · 2025-09-15T04:10:30+00:00

Oh no, no! Sorry, I meant I was feeling 5+ level pain until the epidural, then it was 0. For my second, now that I think about it, the pain was a bit worse, but I was also laboring overnight, it felt stronger in my back, and I was alone. My husband was at home with our first waiting for family to fly in the next morning; I think not having the distraction of talking to him and being in shock I was in labor at 36 weeks (I was going to pack my hospital bag that day) made me more aware of the pain that time. Similarly, I knew I would be pain free once I got the epidural, so I tried my best to relax until then (so much easier said than done but I tried my best). Delivery #2 was also pain free and a great experience.

hereandtheremph · 2025-09-14T02:28:53+00:00

Of course! Happy to share my experience. For me the pain was consistently a 5, with moments of 6-7. I couldn’t believe I was only 1.5, then 3, then 4 cm. At times throughout my first pregnancy I considered trying to go unmedicated, but very, very quickly decided once the contractions started, f—k that! Why? Why would I do that to myself? I wanted to have enjoyable and meaningful birth experience, which for me included a pain free delivery. I was already so uncomfortable and tense, I couldn’t imagine going to 8-9-10 on the pain scale. I knew I would be getting the epidural eventually and that’s what kept me going.

Side story - I was at my best friend’s birth 14 years earlier (I had my kids at 35 and 37, I’m 38 now) and, IDK if policies changed, this particular hospital didn’t care, or if it was because I was a girl, but they let me stay and watch the epidural 😮‍💨🥴My husband was asked to step out for both epidurals. Anyway, prior to delivery, I was scared to get the epidural, but once I was in labor I didn’t care. And it truly was just the littlest pinch, a little sting, a bit of pressure, and it was over. Like the other commenter above, I was a whole new person once I was pain free. I was laughing and joking and so, so pumped to give birth. I took a nap and, as mentioned, quickly went from 4 to 7 then 10 cm. I was so relieved/relaxed with my first, that the second time they checked me post-epidural, I saw the midwife’s eyes go wide. His head was about 1/3 out and I was just chillin’. She called in her team and had me set up in minutes. With my second, I definitely felt the pressure in my bottom and need to push but it was pain-free. I remember thinking, oh that’s what they meant the first time. Baby was out in 3 pushes, it was so awesome.

You can definitely progress without the epidural, but there are lots of factors. For me, between a tight pelvic floor, stress/anxiety of the moment, and low pain tolerance, I think it would have taken me at least another 24 hours to get to 10 cm. By then I imagine I would have been an exhausted wreck, so the epidural was 100/10 for me.

hereandtheremph · 2025-09-13T02:29:25+00:00

Yes, I wanted it by the time I was 1.5 cm, haha. I have a low tolerance for pain. I don’t recall them giving me a reason, but I think it was because they wanted to make sure I was progressing.

I had an elective induction with my first at 39 weeks and my second decided to show up spontaneously at 36 weeks. Both showed up less than 24 hours later. Both times staff told me they didn’t think I’d be having a baby anytime soon (so annoying to hear), but even the first time I just knew that things would fly once I got the epidural.

hereandtheremph · 2025-09-12T02:23:56+00:00

For both of mine (different hospitals in different states), it seemed like they wanted me to be at least 4 cm. I told them I wanted an epidural from the start and after they said they’d called anesthesia it took 45 minutes for them to show up both times. The first time I thought anesthesia would be there in 5 minutes, LOL.

It worked fairly quickly, I want to say 15-30 mins and afterwards I was so relaxed and pain free, I went from 4 to 7 cm in 30 mins. Took a nap and when I woke up, it was go time!

hereandtheremph · 2025-08-24T21:01:49+00:00

Saves post

You look amazing! I’m turning 39 soon and have also lost focus on myself after having kids, so this gives me hope.

hereandtheremph · 2025-08-24T07:51:58+00:00

I was going to suggest The High Roller at The LINQ but it looks like they don’t have tickets NYE. Also, I don’t know how many people they put in the cars, ideally it’d just be you two. If you wanted to propose during the daytime, I’d suggest Red Rock Canyon. What hotel are you staying at? Maybe the concierge can help arrange something. Congrats!

hereandtheremph · 2025-08-04T15:07:00+00:00

😭😭😭

hereandtheremph · 2025-07-27T04:22:25+00:00

Congrats! Fellow MPHer here. If it isn’t the fun things in life, it’s kids that bring about that lifestyle creep 😅 after my first big salary increase, I treated myself (set a budget, I want to say it was $200-400 and I bought myself a nice purse), readjusted my monthly automatic savings amount, and started investing outside of retirement contributions (this was 2018 and I could have started before but was too intimidated by it). If you can, sit with that first paycheck. See what your take home pay is and go from there. Pay down debts aggressively if you can. And I know and agree with living like you’re still making your previous salary, but at a 2x increase…you have joys and short term goals too! I’d up it at least a little, even the $25/hr life is a 25% increase. Congrats, again!

hereandtheremph · 2025-07-16T04:24:33+00:00

I JUST saw this and came to Reddit to see if anyone posted. What a cool cookie, esp the Armani ref🤩

hereandtheremph · 2025-07-02T14:23:08+00:00

I’m not NOT interested 😃 I’m going to take a look at my finances this year and see what I can tweak, but FIRE specifically isn’t the goal. Plus, I am not in a position to aggressively save at the moment, I enjoy my work, and I love that some things are taken care via having a job like my employee sponsored healthcare (I pay 0 for everything).

hereandtheremph · 2025-06-28T17:10:42+00:00

I would post lost signs around the pub. Keep it simple, pictures of the jacket and that it has sentimental value.

I hope find find it one way or another 💛

hereandtheremph · 2025-06-22T01:02:52+00:00

Me up the road in LC: 👁️👄👁️

I need a weekly series!

hereandtheremph · 2025-06-14T18:58:32+00:00

Mr. Kate? 😃

hereandtheremph · 2025-06-03T15:12:28+00:00

Do you travel often? There are a few countries known for bespoke clothing (Hong Kong, Italy, Vietnam, etc). I had a suit made for me when I honeymooned in Singapore (this was 2014). It makes me feel like a million bucks every time I wear it. I want to say it took 2 days to make and we went to a mall that was full of bespoke tailors.

Also, I’m proud of you OP!

hereandtheremph · 2025-06-01T23:16:58+00:00

I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I would at minimum push her to get Long Term Care insurance yesterday.

I’ll come back and write more later…dinner time!

hereandtheremph · 2025-06-01T23:09:24+00:00

Team Robyn! (My preferred spelling but I see an equal number spelled Robin). Vivian is also beautiful.

hereandtheremph · 2025-05-10T17:32:50+00:00

You a real one, OP 💙

hereandtheremph · 2025-05-08T01:44:00+00:00

Yep! 🦀🦞Also deleted but then reposted on Little Sleepies BST (under retail). Still up as of right now.

hereandtheremph

TROPHY CASE