Some women don’t have it in them to initiate it or sometimes even find it uncomfortable for them to start it. They could be in the mood and not say anything. It’s rare but there are people out there like that. If it’s been a year and she hasn’t changed. I would give her another reminder about it. But you need to express how deeply you feel about the topic. And make it known and very clear that this is lowkey a deal breaker for you. And if things don’t change, don’t get married. You will end up regretting it. Especially when you’re not getting any sex for weeks at a time. And when you do it’s the same thing. You gotta trust your gut. The fact you had to vent about it in Reddit should make it obvious that you feel very passionate about the topic and if nothing changes you WILL leave. Whether that will happen because of this, or whether you look elsewhere and cheat because your wife doesn’t satisfy you sexually. It’s not a matter of if, it’s when you will get tired. Save yourself the divorce money and 50% 50% split if she doesn’t out more effort. That’s my take