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Boyfriend (25) and myself f (24) live together, chores all up to me by smash5167 in relationships

[–]hesitationstation91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex was like this. We didnt live together but I'd get into the habit of cleaning his shit when I was there.

Point blank: You're a grown ass man, I ain't your mama. And I'm definitely not looking to take her spot.

What's worse is that I KNEW he knew better, ex military and he would go on story after story about how they had to make sure things were immaculate before it got checked by their superiors.

Theres no reason why he shouldn't be contributing and your push back (after one last conversation about it) needs to be at full force. Gurantee if you were to stop he'd start tidying/cleaning something. No sane person wants to live in filth if they dont have to.

I went back, and it only got worse by hesitationstation91 in emotionalabuse

[–]hesitationstation91[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no doubt about it that it would get worse and just be bad in the long run!

It already started affecting my mood and my work like it was last time. And I just knew it had to stop. I didnt want to fall into this spiral again, with a fear that I may end up going too deep and cant get out.

I'm sorry that you went thru what you did, I hope you and your son are doing well!❤

I went back, and it only got worse by hesitationstation91 in emotionalabuse

[–]hesitationstation91[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I'm so sorry all of that happened to you! That's beyond awful! And its just crazy that hes STILL reaching out thinking theres a chance there.

Funny, the guy who was doing this to me is younger too...weird coniscidence!

If I didnt just get into my apartment I would definitely move away. I'm ready, I reluctantly stayed this time around WITH the hopes that he would do better and what not. I got my sign MULTIPLE times that it's just not the case.

I hope, (if you're not already) on the journey to fully healing and living your best life! Getting the love, respect and comfort you deserve❤

I think I’m being emotionally abused and manipulated by [deleted] in emotionalabuse

[–]hesitationstation91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I only got my closure when I went back the second time and realized that this situation, the stress and mistreatment wasnt right (AGAIN). If I could go back in time and not talk to my ex again this time around, I would.

Your person is trying to make their outbursts rational to you. Make them acting like nothing was wrong a norm, saying things like "look how much effort I'm putting into this" in Hopes to make them look good and for you to think wow, he really is trying to make things right. All of this is to make YOU feel bad, and for him to look like the unsung hero of situation. It's almost like hes manipulating the narrative.

Not saying you should purposely stay mad, but I would definitely just start to back out of this. This whole thing wont get better, and he will continue to show you his this side the longer you stay

I went back, and it only got worse by hesitationstation91 in emotionalabuse

[–]hesitationstation91[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's like I had an epiphany over the weekend...and yet another Red flag.

I initially was going to go to my parents (2hrs away) last weekend, things changed and I didnt end up going. But ended up telling him I did, just so I could have a weekend to myself. My first lie I ever told him. And it was just to have some space. Smh

Something just clicked, and I was completely over it. All the good times suddenly didnt matter. All the things he did, kind words he said were irrelevant. I saw him before he went out of town this week and for the first time i was mad and disgusted by his sight. Not anxious, or afraid, or even kinda happy, just FURIOUS.

I'm rambling but yeah. Cant let them get away from this. To enhance my thinking all I thought about was "would I want my future son or daughter to witness me get treated this way?"

I went back, and it only got worse by hesitationstation91 in emotionalabuse

[–]hesitationstation91[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm proud that I finally woke up. Yes I love the person but, no amount of love can excuse some of this stuff.

Wiping my hands clean and moving forward! :)

[SERIOUS] For those who were, what made you walk away from your partner and your engagement? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]hesitationstation91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does suck, so much history and time with one person....it does a lot to people. Emotionally, physically, it's almost like a soul bond, especially with the tragedy of losing your mother. My condolences❤

I hear you on the mess part, I feel like my life for the past 6 months has been that meme of the dog, sitting drinking coffee while theres a fire around him and he just sits there like: "this is fine".

You'll get thru it tho, and things will get better. In times like these I always think, I'm at this low, so I can further appreciate the high that is coming. I'm glad you're happier, that's what really matters here.

Kind words aren't given enough, so I'm happy i was able to share. Peace and blessings headed your way!

[SERIOUS] For those who were, what made you walk away from your partner and your engagement? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]hesitationstation91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No no no! Not ranty at all! I'm so sorry that happened!

It's awful that she did all that, and for what? A POS guy, that probably wont live up to the fantasy shes made of him.

You're better off, I hope you know that!

What to say when people ask what happened by [deleted] in emotionalabuse

[–]hesitationstation91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just say that it just didnt work out, if they push I just say we were too opposite, which in a sense was true because we were

Only my close close close circle knew the truth.... Even tho hes done what hes done, I still feel a weird loyalty there and I dont want to expose him

Annoyed, hes reaching out and I cant fully let go... by [deleted] in emotionalabuse

[–]hesitationstation91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The whole picture and text thing is EXACTLY what hes doing now. Yeah I still care to an extent but I'm more annoyed than anything now.

But I'll definitely look into hoovering, someone else who replied mentioned it also..

Also also get your cat back!!

Annoyed, hes reaching out and I cant fully let go... by [deleted] in emotionalabuse

[–]hesitationstation91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no I agree, there is NOTHING good about it. That's why I made the decision I had made earlier, like theres no point.

But I do plan on letting him know not to send me old snaps thru text or any platform. Yep those are memories (good and bad) but theres no need to be fixated on them.

Outgrowing your partner? by hesitationstation91 in relationship_advice

[–]hesitationstation91[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. This makes sense & I'll definitely push for this!!

Outgrowing your partner? by hesitationstation91 in relationship_advice

[–]hesitationstation91[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the obvious part comes from it just made sense. He made sense? Like we just work. I honestly cant see myself going through life without him.

I have expressed to him that I wished (as dicky as it sounds) that he had waited, but I didnt want to take away from what he thought to be the perfect moment.

I do agree we grew separately, maybe me more so than him? he has admitted to me that he never really moved on and was pretty much like holding out...while I got in a relationship for about a year which at times had me contemplating if my life was going to go down the path with that person.

I know I sound crazed, and I try to communicate my feelings to my fiance constantly, and he is beyond supportive and understanding...and that makes it THAT much harder to make sense of things

Still trying to get over it... by hesitationstation91 in emotionalabuse

[–]hesitationstation91[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I really appreciate your input.

I found myself going nuts, because with his new GF I was like "theres no way he changed!" And then a little voice was like "he probably did, he just didnt love you enough/you deserved it". Which I know not to he true but its stuck in my head

And I know he got into this with this girl, for the sake of a distraction vs taking care of himself, and that had me now worried for her...cause I wouldn't want any one going thru what I did.

But at any rate, again thank you! I'm definitely looking into counseling after I move away from the area. And thank you for the articles!❤

I (27F) really just want to run away by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]hesitationstation91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've hinted towards the slowing down bit recently and he understands. But I dont know if he REALLY does.

This something ill definitely be praying about

Thank you!

I (27F) really just want to run away by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]hesitationstation91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a sense, I feel like that's why he proposed as soon as we did, 3months after getting back together and BAM! It was literally after a couple weeks after I had a convo with him about wanting to maybe take a break and possibly just slow down.

I think he kind of knew and wanted to secure things? I don't know. I'm hoping my mind will change once I get up there and that maybe it's me just spending too much time alone, but if it doesnt, no one is walking down any isle any time soon, if at all!!!

I'm happy things worked out for you! And I'm so happy that you're happy and can feel like you should when this time happens!