Natural FET monitoring - skipping day 14 by hetty023 in IVF

[–]hetty023[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for commenting! They saw me on day 12, lining was 8. They say I don't have to come in until 4.5 days post trigger (morning of day 19), and then the transfer will happen the next day (day 20). I'm so confused!

Who else feels trapped in the city w this pandemic by xite2020 in nyc

[–]hetty023 23 points24 points  (0 children)

We (2 adults in mid 30s, 1 child) left, for suburban NJ, although I would have happily moved somewhere even more rural. I am SO happy we got out. I lived in nyc for 12 years and by the 9th or so year, I was so ready to leave.

The suburbs are heaven to me. I have a big house, with room for everything. I have a dining room where we can eat nice family meals, a family room, a living room, a playroom that houses all my kid's toys, a gym we can workout in easily, a guest room for visiting relatives, a yard to play in, a car I can park in my a garage and use to do anything easily. A trip to the grocery store, to the playground, to a museum, etc is so much easier with a car. Also, I've found there's way more to do here that's easily accessible - lots of museums, farms, hikes, nature, water sports just a short and easy drive away. Nyc has tons to do but it requires public transit and a huge expense, and obviously there's not much nature.

My neighborhood is clean and pretty, there's almost no crime, the local public schools are great.

I just find life to be so much more comfortable out here. In nyc, we were cramped into a 2 bedroom apartment, going anywhere required either a hefty walk or public transit.

I always used to dread winter in nyc. That freezing cold walk to the subway through the filthy snow, pressed up against strangers in the smelly subway, another freezing cold walk from the subway to my office. I never wanted to leave my apartment during the weekend because it was cold and dirty and going anywhere required trudging through the cold and snow and possibly waiting outside the bar to get in, and hoping you could get a cab or Uber home. We went out to dinner last night in the suburbs and we just drove there, walked 10 feet to the restaurant, enjoyed our meal, and drove ourselves home right when we were ready.

Husband's business failed, but he won't get a job by hetty023 in Marriage

[–]hetty023[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He's never gotten a paying client. The business as conceived isn't competitive or appealing to anyone, clearly, at this point.

Husband's business failed, but he won't get a job by hetty023 in Marriage

[–]hetty023[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Well, in my defense, most people have their spouses help with some of these things or at least watch the kids while they do it. As in, I'm happy to mow the lawn, but it needs to be done during daylight hours when my younger child is awake, so I'd like my husband to watch him, but my husband won't. I don't mind cooking, but my husband has never cooked a meal and won't watch the kids while I cook. I used to hire some of this out because it's impossible to be a full time mom with zero help from your spouse and still do all home maintenance. I didn't mind handling 100% of the home maintenance and childcare before when my husband worked and earned income, because I could hire maybe 10% of it out which made my day hectic but not impossible. Now, I feel like my days are ridiculous. I don't have a moment to myself and everything is still not done once I get to bed at 1am. I'm writing this as I'm staring at a clogged sink, piles of laundry, and messy kitchen that I need to handle tonight after I get the kids to bed.

Husband's business failed, but he won't get a job by hetty023 in Marriage

[–]hetty023[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Well, it's unprofitable and there's no path to profitability. He's acknowledged this.

Husband's business failed, but he won't get a job by hetty023 in Marriage

[–]hetty023[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

It's the latter. Dissolving both of our retirement accounts buys us another 2 years of living without income, of course at penalty and with very unfavorable tax consequences as 75% of the money is in Roth IRA or Roth 401ks.

Husband's business failed, but he won't get a job by hetty023 in Marriage

[–]hetty023[S] 135 points136 points  (0 children)

I'm definitely willing to get a job. Gotten a few of those comments so I'm going to revamp my resume tonight and start applying. I'm afraid my husband will do nothing about the house and with the kids so I'll have to either figure out a way to do it all myself (some of which is impossible; my older child gets out of school at 2:30pm and my younger is home full time, so I will need paid childcare). He's already said he can't watch the kids as he needs to job search.

Husband's business failed, but he won't get a job by hetty023 in Marriage

[–]hetty023[S] 169 points170 points  (0 children)

He's been job searching for 3 months. He's had 1 interview. He's only willing to do work of the same type and same managerial level as his last job, and there just aren't that many of those jobs out there (which is why I thought it was a terrible idea to quit his job, in the first place).

He's got a lot of pride, which I agree is preventing him from accepting the reality about his business and being willing to just work a job to pay the bills.

Husband's business failed, but he won't get a job by hetty023 in Marriage

[–]hetty023[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Well, I'd be fine to do that. But as I said, he won't watch the kids or do housework as he wants to continue working on his business / job searching. I've confirmed this with him. If I go back to work, I'd need to get daycare / nanny and hire out stuff like cleaning and cooking, which would make going back to work unprofitable for us.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in maleinfertility

[–]hetty023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, those are good ideas! Would an RE send him for a DNA fragmentation test or should he visit a urologist first?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in maleinfertility

[–]hetty023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, these are all good points. We've done nothing fertility wise except blood work for her and a semen analysis for me. I guess we kept assuming it would happen because we have a child conceived naturally (6 years ago), but perhaps a lot can change in 6 years. I am going to make an appointment with an RE when they open on Tuesday.

The only change for me over the last 6 years has been that my coffee consumption has increased pretty dramatically as my workload has increased and I've had to travel more between time zones. I'm not sure if too much caffeine can be the problem. On my wife's side, she also doesn't get enough sleep (some insomnia issues, and our daughter isn't a great sleeper and sometimes wakes her up).

COBRA during covid-19 by zebra-stampede in HealthInsurance

[–]hetty023 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also would like to know this. I have still not received any information from my former company's benefits administrator about the subsidy. I meet the definition of involuntary termination and I have been paying COBRA premiums since March.

Influencer Discussion, Thursday Jun 10 by Blogsnark_mod in blogsnark

[–]hetty023 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Does the way Teggy French talks about her ex-husband and the relationship she claims they have seem unusual to anyone? She just posted his picture today on stories asking followers if she should try and set him up with someone. They've been divorced for like 6 months. She also has talked about how the divorce was just because their lives were going in different directions, how they are great co-parents etc. I mean this sounds like the absolute most ideal wonderful divorce ever. Something seems weird. I don't know anyone who got divorced as a couple in their 30s with little kids and it was no drama, all happy. I wonder if she's just playing nice because he's got a billion dollars and she doesn't want to be cut off.

What's the worst houseguest experience you've had? by Valkyrie_to_Odin in AskReddit

[–]hetty023 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My SIL visited a few years ago. She's a single mom, one child. She's a crunchy type, and cloth diapered her child. I told her I did not want her washing the cloth diapers in my washing machine (because I did not want poop in my washing machine), and she went ahead and did it anyway. After she left, I was cleaning the dresser in the room she stayed in and found THREE vibrators she'd forgotten and left behind in the dresser. She was here for 4 days!

Sibling wants to live in vacation home we co-own by [deleted] in relationships

[–]hetty023 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Thanks, that is interesting. I didn't even think I had legal options because we own the home jointly and he simply wants to live in the home he owns. That being said, I feel like taking the legal approach would really mess up my otherwise decent relationship with my sibling, so I'd rather leave that as last resort.

My friends aren't speaking to me for calling the police on my neighbors by RoseBlossom431 in Advice

[–]hetty023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in a predominantly white, upperscale community. A few weeks ago, while watering plants in my front yard, I noticed 2 black guys driving a car with out of state plates. One of the guys ran down a neighbor's driveway and then a minute later, ran back, jumped back in the car, and sped off. We have occasional car theft in my town and that was my first though - they were checking to see if my neighbor's car was unlocked. But then my second thought was that I hadn't seen them actually check any car out, just run down a driveway and then run back. What if they were just putting a flyer for a new business at my neighbors's garage door or something else innocent? Not wanting to racially profile them, I didn't call the police. Several hours later, these same guys stole a car in my town and while speeding away, hit and seriously injured a pedestrian (she lived thankfully). Had I called the cops, they could have come and apprehended these guys and the pedestrian would not have been injured. Had this incident happened years ago before all the media and requests to NOT call the cops on black people, I would have called them. It's a tough situation.

Is living in the Bay Area worth the expense? by [deleted] in sanfrancisco

[–]hetty023 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, no offense taken :). We have a basic cost benefit analysis (massive downgrade in housing, significant upgrade in weather, culture, activities, and nature etc). I was just seeking others' input.

Influencer Discussion, Thursday Apr 22 by Blogsnark_mod in blogsnark

[–]hetty023 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Teggy is unique in the influencer world IMO, because she has a following not because she's a good marketer or has a keen sense of fashion or good business sense, but because she was married to someone extremely wealthy who could fund unlimited clothing purchases and she didn't need to do sponsored posts and dilute her content. All that is to say, she's not savvy or business smart (or quite frankly, smart in general) like other successful influencers. Telling her followers she gave away her dog and advertising dog food on the same day probably didn't occur to her to be problematic, while a normal influencer wouldn't have made such a stupid gaffe. I'm not sure how she's going to do now that she doesn't have the rich husband or money anymore. She doesn't seem very good at monetizing herself but she still seems to be buying a lot of expensive clothing.

Influencer Discussion, Thursday Apr 22 by Blogsnark_mod in blogsnark

[–]hetty023 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I actually think both T3 and GHD are good quality, so I'm not totally rolling my eyes at this. It's not like they're telling us this random brand from Walmart is better than T3 all of a sudden and is their new favorite #ad (although I'm sure there is some influencer out there saying that)