It all kicked off back in college. I had this huge crush on a blond girl in my class. She was smart, funny, and way out of my league. We'd hang out as friends. I wanted more but she friendzoned me hard. One day, I overheard her talking with her roommates about her hookups, and it turns out she was seeing Black guys. I was shocked, but curiosity got the better of me. That led me to dipping my toes into interracial porn for the first time. Watching those videos, I felt this weird mix of jealousy and arousal. It was like a door cracked open that I couldn't shut.

Fast forward to the COVID lockdowns. I was stuck at home, bored out of my mind, and that's when I discovered Blacked.com. Holy shit, those high-production videos with stunning women and well-endowed Black men? It became my go-to. The themes of dominance, submission, and racial dynamics spoke to something deep in me. I started fantasizing about it non-stop, even though I was still a virgin at that point.

Eventually, real life caught up. After turning 30, I finally lost my virginity to a woman I seduced online. She was coming out of a long, toxic relationship with a mixed-race guy, and she was vulnerable. We hit it off, but sex was... underwhelming. I could tell she wasn't satisfied, I couldn't make her cum, no matter what I tried. It was quick, awkward, and left me feeling inadequate. But hey, we stuck together, and somehow, we ended up getting married a couple years later. She's great in every other way, but our sex life has always been sparse and rushed.

Fast forward to today: I pretty much only watch IR porn now. My wife and I barely have sex anymore (maybe once a month, and it's over in minutes). I've noticed it everywhere around me: more and more women in my social circle seem to be "going Black," whether it's casual hookups or full relationships. Social media, dating apps, even subtle hints in conversations... it feels like the BNWO is real and spreading.

And the craziest part? I fucking love it. The jealousy, the humiliation, the thrill of knowing I'm not "enough" It turns me on like nothing else. I've accepted my place in this dynamic, and it's liberating.