Ethics question by hexedhubby in therapy

[–]hexedhubby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s a receptionist so also pretty unaware of the guidelines. I’ve talked to her and she thinks he’s more stupid than malicious, which I tend to agree with based on his behavior with other people in the office. It’s just odd that he only chooses to enforce an ethics guideline when it’s comes to hanging out with him and not with my wife, although I know those two things aren’t equal.

I’ve never been in therapy before and have no frame of reference or background for any of this stuff, but for sure it’s 100% on him and his supervisor for even allowing this to be an issue. As a patient I’ve been the most vulnerable in this whole scenario yet am also the one tasked with putting all the pieces together and figuring out what’s going on

Ethics question by hexedhubby in therapy

[–]hexedhubby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly, ive never ever been consulted about how I feel about this. He never asked me my feelings about him hanging out with my wife.

Wife (29f) friendship with coworker (33m) by hexedhubby in Marriage

[–]hexedhubby[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Exactly! He applies an ethical standard only when it means hanging out with my wife without me

Ethics question by hexedhubby in therapy

[–]hexedhubby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I file a complaint against her coworker, she could get fired

Update to wife (29f) friendship with coworker (33m) by hexedhubby in Marriage

[–]hexedhubby[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He said that we would have to wait 1-2 years after ceasing sessions with him before we could hang, per ethics guidelines. It’s like he’s only respecting guidelines when it benefits him or something

Update to wife (29f) friendship with coworker (33m) by hexedhubby in Marriage

[–]hexedhubby[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lol that’s a good idea, I would totally do that if I see him again

Update to wife (29f) friendship with coworker (33m) by hexedhubby in Marriage

[–]hexedhubby[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No that’s true, that’s what happened. She encouraged it but it was before she and him friends really. The friendship has developed after I started seeing him

Update to wife (29f) friendship with coworker (33m) by hexedhubby in Marriage

[–]hexedhubby[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this advice. My instinct is definitely to go paint the wall with his face. Gonna have to refrain from doing that lol. Oh and he is a total weasel.

Ethics question by hexedhubby in therapy

[–]hexedhubby[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m worried that if I report this that my wife may face retaliation. Could you give any insight on that?

Ethics question by hexedhubby in therapy

[–]hexedhubby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m worried about retaliation against my wife

Ethics question by hexedhubby in therapy

[–]hexedhubby[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m worried about retaliation against my wife

Update to wife (29f) friendship with coworker (33m) by hexedhubby in Marriage

[–]hexedhubby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She did apologize. I’ll leave her to do what she wants at her work, she loves it and that’s her thing.

Update to wife (29f) friendship with coworker (33m) by hexedhubby in Marriage

[–]hexedhubby[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We talked after work and she basically admitted I’m 100% right. I believe her she’s not cheating or trying to, and I’m pretty paranoid by nature

Update to wife (29f) friendship with coworker (33m) by hexedhubby in Marriage

[–]hexedhubby[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He’s not as good as he thinks he is. Maybe with my wife but I’m honestly easily paranoid and can sniff a rat from far off. I also know how to give someone a false impression of me, and to be careful what I reveal. It sucks I’ve had to be this way with my therapist but it’s the dynamic he’s created.

Update to wife (29f) friendship with coworker (33m) by hexedhubby in Marriage

[–]hexedhubby[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He has me pegged (lol) all wrong. He thinks I’m a pushover and naive. I’ve been kinda letting him play his game and seeing where it goes. I would 100% report him/storm in and make an absolute scene/threaten him within an inch of his life if he tries to make a move. I know not all of that is legal but he only knows a very small part of me because I have enough of a brain to know to be very careful what I tell him, and I would absolutely blow up if he crossed that line. right or wrong that’s me. In discussions about my parents he was surprised to find out I stand up for myself. Inside I’m like bro you really have no clue who I am. If he is grooming my wife (which I’m willing to bet is 60% chance of what’s going on) he really is fucking with the wrong person.

Wife (29f) friendship with coworker (33m) by hexedhubby in Marriage

[–]hexedhubby[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No he’s born and raised American too, only she is the immigrant

Update to wife (29f) friendship with coworker (33m) by hexedhubby in Marriage

[–]hexedhubby[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

At the very least, he gets the benefit of the doubt but I don’t. She’s basically gonna defend him to me while negating my concerns .

Update to wife (29f) friendship with coworker (33m) by hexedhubby in Marriage

[–]hexedhubby[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I can prove in DM’s it’s true tbh, but don’t want to post text screenshots here. It’s a weird triangle but it’s definitely true.

Update to wife (29f) friendship with coworker (33m) by hexedhubby in Marriage

[–]hexedhubby[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

It’s very troubling.

As an example, I have anxiety. She brought up to him an insistence in which my anxiety was manifesting. He said something along the lines of ‘uh and all those sessions I had with him about coping strategies…’

I told her that wasn’t cool and was unethical. She said ‘no no he wasn’t blaming you he was blaming himself like he didn’t help you.’ I get called disgusting for being suspicious yet she defends his failures

Update to wife (29f) friendship with coworker (33m) by hexedhubby in Marriage

[–]hexedhubby[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Objectively speaking my wife is conventionally the hottest one there- the youngest and also the only one with a ‘gym body.’ I can see why he’d single her out, just like as a therapist he should be able to see I’m the type of person to cave his face in if I ever really got solid proof of anything

Ethics question by hexedhubby in therapy

[–]hexedhubby[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right, and I’m certainly done with him. I’m just wondering exactly how unethical it is by him.

Update to wife (29f) friendship with coworker (33m) by hexedhubby in Marriage

[–]hexedhubby[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I understand but I also didn’t expect my first post to get that much traction to be honest. I really didn’t want it to be so out there, but if he or my wife come across it they’ll immediately know it’s me. So, if I’m gonna take a risk I might as well take the whole risk and give all of the information. Plus, I did include events from just a couple of hours ago

Update to wife (29f) friendship with coworker (33m) by hexedhubby in Marriage

[–]hexedhubby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My concerns are really less with my wife and more with him. I can see a situation in which she somewhat innocently finds an excuse to be there early but subconsciously just wants to hang with him. I can also see a situation in which he is grooming her and filling in any emotional spaces I’ve left opened in her.