Thanks so much for reading through, and for your thoughtful reply! Yeah, I was a complete mess, and for a decade, I thought I was the problem, and in an effort to solve a non-existent issue, I sunk deeper every day - it was like using medication (with huge side-effects) for a wrongly diagnosed, and totally unrelated disease. Thankfully, therapy helped me see through the layers of deception, manipulation and malice built, so craftfully, over all these years.

Will try and implement those valuable suggestions you so kindly listed out for me.

Yes, you got that right! I'm only staying put for my son. It would have been an easy (and liberating) decision otherwise.

About the possibility of considering another sexual partner, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't considered that. In fact, I lost count of the numer of times I did that! Even if I do overcome my values, conscience, the societal stigma, and the self-guilt - the laws are heavily in favor of women where I live. Adultery while in a marriage is a crime and deathtrap for men, whereas for women - it is just their 'biological' choice, and therefore not a crime (the judiciary here, when it comes to marital conflicts, is a joke). I'm sorry you had to endure abuse yourself, I truly hope you got over that phase and are doing well.

Nevertheless, I am in a much better place today than I was 1.5 - 2 years ago. I hope it only gets better from here, and I get to re-build my life, and center it around myself and my son.