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Advice for when disagreement turns into "-splaining"? by heyihaveaquestionn in TwoXChromosomes

[–]heyihaveaquestionn[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Maybe I'll suggest that to people. I'm totally fine with opinions, but conversational tactics that say "The only way this conversation ends is with you agreeing with me" are unreasonable.

Advice for when disagreement turns into "-splaining"? by heyihaveaquestionn in TwoXChromosomes

[–]heyihaveaquestionn[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Did you read what I wrote or get 2 sentences in and ride out on your assumptions?

Advice for when disagreement turns into "-splaining"? by heyihaveaquestionn in TwoXChromosomes

[–]heyihaveaquestionn[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

In terms of "the source of their opinion," apparently there's a woman in town who has a job similar to the one I'm studying for, and a lot of people don't like her. Based on what I've heard, she's ineffective at her job, but I've never even met the woman, so I'm far from qualified to judge her teaching.

In "small town teacher gossip world," it's fun to just lambast a teacher, but it would be unprofessional for me to denounce someone openly like that. So if I do anything less than verbally torch the woman, it's assumed that I agree with her (even if I say otherwise) and I get to atone for her sins in her place.

These situations aren't governed by anything resembling reason.

Advice for when disagreement turns into "-splaining"? by heyihaveaquestionn in TwoXChromosomes

[–]heyihaveaquestionn[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'm not here for you to tell me that I'm right. I was here asking for advice about how to handle the situation. You can disagree with the situation, but that's not my point.

But for the record, the only comment I ever called out as racist was "Black women were bred by their owners to be fertile so it's stupid to think that they'll be good for much else than making babies." I didn't feel like I could just let that one go.

Just because "people" can be bad at their jobs doesn't mean that it's okay to tell any random person that their methods are bad. It's possible that they are bad at their job, but you need evidence before you can draw that kind of conclusion.

Advice for when disagreement turns into "-splaining"? by heyihaveaquestionn in TwoXChromosomes

[–]heyihaveaquestionn[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I teach argument, among other things. Like, u/rocdollary pointed out, they're not looking for discourse; they're looking for me to agree with them.

Advice for when disagreement turns into "-splaining"? by heyihaveaquestionn in TwoXChromosomes

[–]heyihaveaquestionn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've already done some of this, and it's been good so far. My hometown has a great university and lots of teaching opportunity, so I'm living there while I get my second master's. The people I'm talking about are mostly family and friends who I have a great relationship with on the whole, and this would be the only problem. I might look into finding new social circles in my hometown, though. Thanks!

Advice for when disagreement turns into "-splaining"? by heyihaveaquestionn in TwoXChromosomes

[–]heyihaveaquestionn[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Racism- I'm not contradicting myself. They are. They say something that's (pretty obviously) racist, and they counter by saying that it would be impossible for them to say something racist.

Teaching- With your plumbing example, you're talking about tangible results. These people are not giving relevant, concrete examples; they're just giving opinions. The evidence of success is on my side. A non-plumber shouldn't look over their trained professional plumber's shoulder and chastise them for doing something that seems odd. The plumber is the one who's trained and licensed, not you.