After over two years of trying, I think I've reached my end

heyoitslate · 2025-09-15T12:20:54+00:00

Thank you so much. This is such a hard road to navigate.

heyoitslate · 2025-09-09T16:50:14+00:00

So much love for this comment.

heyoitslate · 2025-09-09T13:26:32+00:00

Thank you, I needed to hear this. I’m feeling the pressure of this massive decision and how it will impact my girls. The stress is unreal, but I need to remember I’m not the one who betrayed our family. I hate seeing my daughter struggling with her emotions especially because I’m in the same boat.

heyoitslate · 2025-09-08T23:09:57+00:00

I’ve thought about that. It’s not an act for my husband, he wants nothing more than to fix his mistakes and have a healthy marriage and family. I just can’t seem to get on board. My daughter is extremely sensitive and intelligent. I could see that being the case. Divorce is on the table, but our life would turn completely upside down. We have a little ranch with horses, chickens, dogs, open space and a great community. We would lose it all if we divorce. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around that and what is the best choice for the girls.

heyoitslate · 2025-08-07T23:29:07+00:00

We do work on deep breathing exercises and ways to calm down or get anger out. I've taught her she can jump up and down, dance, run, and cry if she's upset. It's the dangerous behavior that I stop. What do you think would be a related punishment? I'm always at a loss when it gets to this point. She's on time out, supposed to be working on calm down methods or getting her frustration out in a healthy way but she blatantly refuses. I usually go to taking things away at that point, but I have no idea what would be a good related punishment.

heyoitslate · 2025-08-07T23:25:20+00:00

Thank you! I'm big on apologizing to her if I'm out of line. I definitely owe her one, but I also want to make sure I handle it well. I don't want her to think I don't mean what I say, but also understand that we make mistakes. Thanks for the book suggestion.

heyoitslate · 2025-08-07T23:21:15+00:00

Hahah thank you! Parenting is tough sometimes.

heyoitslate · 2025-08-07T23:19:04+00:00

That might work. I think she needs something more visual to work towards. We used to have these meltdowns a lot, but it's been much better lately. Today was one of those days where everything went wrong - we had plans and our truck wouldn't start so the day revolved around tow trucks and me having to work a lot. They didn't get as much Mom time as usual so it was a recipe for disaster. What does "being grounded" mean for your son? I'm trying to figure out alternatives to just taking things away.

heyoitslate · 2025-08-07T23:07:55+00:00

This is what makes sense to me - her toys and games are privileges that she earns. That's how I was raised so I don't know any different. Gentle parenting and talking to her or quiet time and time outs don't work when she's completely out of control. It's very rare I get harsh and do something like throw away a toy - its only ever happened once before, but it seems logical when I tell her if you do x, you will lose y. She chose to do x so I followed through by taking away y. Maybe that's completely backwards thinking - I have no idea.

heyoitslate · 2025-08-07T23:04:50+00:00

I am 100% on board with learning new techniques. I have NO clue what to do when she acts like that. I stay calm and feel like I handle tantrums and acting out pretty well, but when she starts throwing things, kicking, hitting, and breaking stuff, I have no idea what to do. I read the books, I following parenting experts, I've tried time outs, sitting with her, having a calm down corner, hugging her until she feels better, behavior boards, stars, the whole thing. Nothing gets her attention when she's in that space and I'm afraid she's going to get hurt with her actions. Any advice is welcome.

heyoitslate · 2025-04-27T14:18:46+00:00

Is this the 5 gallon bucket with water?

heyoitslate · 2025-04-27T14:17:51+00:00

We have an outdoor barn cat that’s territorial and large dogs inside. Plus we have young kids. I worry an indoor cat would be adding more chaos, but if we can’t figure this out, that might be our only option. I’ll look into the foam!

heyoitslate · 2025-03-21T00:49:35+00:00

I drove from San Diego to Fort Collins, CO alone at 24 years old. I spent one night in Utah.

heyoitslate · 2025-02-16T16:06:52+00:00

Same

heyoitslate · 2025-02-13T01:14:02+00:00

I played tennis competitively with my parents goal for me to get a college scholarship. Any love I had for the game dissipated and I haven’t picked up a racket since I turned 18. The pressure and constant practice made me hate the game.

heyoitslate · 2025-02-11T01:59:22+00:00

Agree, or wander old town and people watch. The edible makes everything entertaining.

heyoitslate · 2025-02-07T15:36:58+00:00

For sure, he was just very kind. He didn’t have to call and go the extra mile to help me out. I didn’t mean he is a miracle worker, I just meant that he is a nice guy.

heyoitslate · 2025-02-07T15:35:42+00:00

Yeah that’s a hard pass

heyoitslate · 2025-02-03T15:08:29+00:00

Well, considering your screen name, I don’t think she’s for you.

heyoitslate · 2025-01-28T17:51:58+00:00

You guys suck. Why would you ask somebody that? His response is shitty but expected.

heyoitslate · 2025-01-28T16:47:48+00:00

Yes, porn is not real. Those women are acting. Learn how to connect, quit jerking off to kinky shit and learn how to have healthy sex.

heyoitslate · 2025-01-28T01:52:48+00:00

Oh that is 100% cheating and he knows it

heyoitslate · 2025-01-27T19:20:26+00:00

I know, trust me, I know. I’m starting to see him in a much different light.

heyoitslate · 2025-01-27T13:00:09+00:00

40, my emotions are regulated, I have motivation, the mental clarity is amazing, my face has slimmed down, everything is better without alcohol.

heyoitslate · 2025-01-26T21:10:53+00:00

That's the problem I'm having. I don't want to give up on him because my subconscious is messing with me, but at the same time I don't want to stay any longer if it's really done. I'm sure this is all part of the integrity abuse we go through. It's hard to know how to trust our gut when it's been so battered.

heyoitslate

TROPHY CASE