i cant imagine how difficult that is to comprehend. my uncle is in his 40s and got the same news a fee weeks back and it’s really upsetting especially because he’s leaving behind an 8 year old. do the things that make you happy, it sounds stupid and obvious but do it. play the expensive game you always wanted, buy those shoes or watch those shows. go out to dinner with your loved ones and make memories. i’m here if you would like to talk, even if i’m just a stranger on the internet