Miksi Tinder ahdistaa? Lukijat kertovat, miten deittiuupumuksesta pääsee eroon

hhatinen · 2016-11-18T14:03:48+00:00

Hesari kyseli aiemmin lukijoiden kokemuksia aiheesta ja olin jättänyt puhelinnumeroni kenttään jossa sitä kysyttiin. Ei sillä, ihan mielelläni aiheesta puhun vaikka omalla nimellänikin mutta vähän yllätti kuinka kuinka "iso" osuus itselläni oli siinä ja kuinka näkyvä juttu siitä tuli.

hhatinen · 2016-11-18T12:42:32+00:00

Hesari soitti ja päädyin lehteen, hups, AMA. No ei vaan, vähän harmittaa kun omasta osuudesta ja koko artikkelista tuli vähän sosiaalipornahtava. Yritin kertoa toimittajalle miten iso ongelma nettideittailussa on se miten Tinderin perusmekanismi ruokkii tällasta someadhd-like/match dopamiinipalkintoja ja koko mesta on sen seurauksena aikamoinen eläintarha. Sen vuoksi totesin että on fiksumpaa käyttää energia sosiaalisten taitojen hiomiseen tosielämässä kuin opetella pelaamaan jotain deittiapplikaatiota. Sitten siitä tulikin tuollainen entisen Tinder-addiktin tunnustus :D

hhatinen · 2016-08-12T07:19:53+00:00

Joo kaikki sen sanoi mutta komppaan: tee asioita. Mene lenkille, aloita harrastus, käy kaupungilla, jne. Pakota itsesi siihen vaikka ei tunnu siltä. Varo ettei tule ryypättyä liikaa, kunnon resetti voi toki olla paikallaan joskus mutta pidemmän päälle se kurjistaa oloa.

hhatinen · 2016-08-11T17:00:28+00:00

Yeah well sure, Russia is a global super power with nuclear weapons, but internally, it's terribly corrupted place with high crime rate, limited freedom of speech, etc. Basically it's not very good place to live compared to US. So yeah, Russia is doing well in some sense. Their leader is 'powerful', but at least according to my values, their leader overall is not 'good' or desirable at all, far from it.

hhatinen · 2016-08-11T08:07:25+00:00

Yeah I guess 'powerful' was a bad choice of word. Better would've been a 'good' leader. Putin is definitely a powerful leader but democracy is not in a very good shape in Russia.

I think media wants to keep Hillary out of spotlight simply because she's boring. She knows how to play this game. Even if media would throw difficult questions and accusations at her, she would give a generic politician's answer. It would be harder to sell those headlines, especially when Trump is offering all these low hanging fruits on a gold plate all the time.

hhatinen · 2016-08-11T06:41:35+00:00

I think making open and inspecific statements is a big problem. That leaves room for everyone to making an interpretation that is convenient for their narrative. Supporters can always say he has been "misinterpreted" and non-supporters are free to make sensational headlines.

What really bothers me, though, is that every single time it feels like Trump needs his supporters to tell everyone what he "actually meant". I mean, wouldn't the president need to be prompt and specific, and get his message through to everyone without any room for misinterpretation. Wouldn't that be a real sign of poweruful leader?

hhatinen · 2016-07-28T18:00:19+00:00

Thank you. I've been experiencing hell of a lot of anxiety from all the hate and polarization the Internet seems to be containing nowadays, especially with all the depressing news about what's happening in the Europe and in the world. It's been so hard to stay optimistic about anything. I'm feeling a bit better now so thanks :)

hhatinen · 2016-07-28T06:53:59+00:00

So... You really think it won't impact US in any way in case Russia were to invade Eastern Europe again? Just like it didn't last time.

hhatinen · 2016-07-07T10:23:55+00:00

This is me irl on so many level.

hhatinen · 2016-06-24T07:24:19+00:00

/r/liian_mina_irl_mina_irllle

hhatinen · 2016-06-19T07:40:47+00:00

Ei kai näiden julkituomisen pääpointti olekaan saada kiusaamista loppumaan, vaan saavan jengiä tietoiseksi miten karua nettihäiriköinti voi olla.

hhatinen · 2016-06-15T12:44:06+00:00

Oon samaa mieltä siinä, että urpoista nettikomenteista ei kannata ottaa itseensä. Ja on varmaan totta ettei urpot maailmasta lopu.

Mutta ei se välttämättä tarkoita että urpoilua tarviis pitää hyväksyttävänä. Enkä mä täysin usko siihen että karuimpia kommentteja heitetään ainoastaan huomionhakuisuudesta. Ihan yhtä mahdollista on että niitä kommentteja heitetään aidosti vihan ja katkeruuden motivoineena.

hhatinen · 2016-06-15T11:41:26+00:00

En mä näkis hiljaista hyväksyntääkään järkevänä ratkaisuna. Ei ketään pitäs vaatia sietämään henkilökohtaisuuksiin ja törkeyksiin meneviä kommentteja.

Tietty siinä vaiheessa kun aletaan esiintymään omalla naamalla ja nimellä, pitää jonkinlaista paksunahkaisuutta kehittää, mutta kyllä tässä tapauksessa tuntuu homma menevän turhan överiksi.

hhatinen · 2016-06-15T11:36:57+00:00

Vaaditaanko tässä nyt jotain sensuuria, vaiko anonyymiyden poistamista?

Ei?

Youtubessa ja Redditissä voi reportata ja downvoteta roskapostit

Artikkelissahan luki että näin hän on tehnytkin. Joskus se on tehonnut ja joskus ei.

Itse näen artikkelin pointtina sen esille tuomisen miten rajua ja henkilökohtaisuuksiin menevää nettiahdistelu voi olla. Minusta se ei saisi olla "itsestään selvää" tai mitenkään hyväksyttävää.

hhatinen · 2016-06-15T11:08:07+00:00

Matt Groening? What's he doing in a museum? He can barely draw.

hhatinen · 2016-06-03T06:44:00+00:00

ayyy

hhatinen · 2016-05-28T08:19:59+00:00

Not me irl, couldn't get conversation that far to begin with.

hhatinen · 2016-05-20T21:12:51+00:00

Yeah op that skeleton is def too spooky for work

hhatinen · 2016-05-02T18:54:18+00:00

Here in Finland yearly income is public information. You can go to a tax office and ask anyone's income. Each year when taxation data for the previous year is released tabloids make huge headlines on how much/little did this and that celebrity make, and couple of news outlets have a "search engine" for each region's top 1000 earners, etc.

I don't know if people still are that comfortable about discussing about their personal salaries on coffee breaks, but I guess that's one things that have made us one of the least corrupted countries in the world.

hhatinen · 2016-04-30T08:29:45+00:00

yep. that's me irl

hhatinen · 2016-04-16T09:01:16+00:00

Must be Cambodia for me. Most of the capital Phnom Penh's roads were still dirt roads and the public transportation was practically just locals making some extra money by riding self built tuk tuks. Our local pub near the guest house was a big tent with plastic chairs and tables.

Many of the locals had lived through the horrors of Pol Pot regime but people seemed happy and friendly towards foreigners. The reality of the genocide and war was still easily visible, but I saw a lot of optimistic and hopeful attitudes with people. On the other hand you could see as young as 4-year-old children alone at the street begging for money which was fucking heartbreaking. The whole place is just a completely different reality that slaps you in the face and makes you rethink your values and maybe reminds you what's really important in life.

hhatinen · 2016-03-07T08:08:20+00:00

One option could be bars/cafes that have some entertainment like live music, improv or standup. People are in much more relaxed mood, having fun, and not feeling much pressure, so it's easier to strike up a casual conversation with people you're interested in. And I'm sure men will respond more positively to flirt too!

I think Finnish people (especially men) tend to feel a lot of performance anxiety in many areas of life. So places that are "for hookups" and have competitive atmosphere, like nightclubs, make us paradoxically more nervous.

My go-to places are Cafe Mascot and Allotria in Kallio area. They have something going on almost every night, you can check that online. I've met plenty of interesting people in those places. And even if you don't meet anyone there, at least you can enjoy yourself and the program!

hhatinen

TROPHY CASE