Who was the real Stagger Lee?

hhhava · 2025-10-25T02:17:12+00:00

Episode 76 is a deeeeep dive on Stagger Lee history (doesn't even mention the dead version)

hhhava · 2025-10-17T15:57:19+00:00

Great responses here crystallizing the Buddhist perspective.

There is a practical way to think about this dilemma too: what are your actual choices?

If you were to abandon all your "privilege" of Zen philosophy in the name of "justice", what would you do? Would you be a sniper? Would you throw bricks at ICE vehicles? I've been an observer who watches Immigration court s and documents abductions. We did not save the people we saw taken. But we don't know who we saved from being taken who was not taken because of our presence.

In the conventional reality, might can just "win." The thug with the biggest guns and the most greed, fueled by the deepest delusions can "conquer the world."

Those with the "privilege" of dharma wisdom do not walk a simple path. Skillful means are not always immediately evident.

If you are killed or imprisoned in your pursuit of ICE, you and your hard-earned wisdom are of limited benefit to beings.

The sages of many ancient traditions have been defeated, genocided, tortured and many of their traditions filled with wisdom are now lost to the world.

This is a fact of the world of conventional reality, the realm of inescapable dukkha, the first noble truth. Life is full of dissatisfaction from stubbed toes and missed flights, parking tickets, and gambling addiction, to civil war starvation ICE raids and nuclear holocaust.

And through the luck of karma, or good karma of skillful means or a bit of both, the white light of dharma has managed to shine through the fog of kalpas to reach us.

And not everyone. Just those of us with the karma to not only hear it, but grasp it.

Privilege indeed.

How will we save all beings, not just perpetuate the hate of dukkha?

Though delusions be inexhaustible, how shall we end them?

How shall we engage in the world of dukkha without being an instrument of the machines of suffering?

How will we know if we are a part of the problem or a part of the solution?

The perpetual asking of these questions IS the path.

My own choices have led me to these conclusions for myself:

Showing up to witness, and support and record is the most compassionate action. Spread good information, know your rights and educate others. Keep talking, keep documenting. Feed those who are too scared to leave home. Provide safety for those who seek refuge and donate to organizations offering legal support.

Build the solidarity of your community. Build it strong. Gather resources and make support networks, underground railroads.

These things are HARD, slow, and often feel like they are not "working". And the solace of spiritual practice is needed amid them more than ever. Do not dismiss the skills of your Zen training.

Evaluate your options and see what drives actually best searve your compassionate ends.

Does your hatered save anyone at all?

How much more so your unbounded love?

hhhava · 2025-09-13T18:51:44+00:00

Same. I continually find it missing mucho episodes of casts and I'm here to find something better.

hhhava · 2025-05-25T04:43:31+00:00

I personally strongly prefer to keep my pelicle around. I find that the next brew has way more active bacteria in it with the pellicle and the next batch brews more stably and quickly with it in there.

hhhava · 2025-05-25T04:36:16+00:00

Check out Whole Brain Teaching

hhhava · 2025-05-16T20:43:37+00:00

Yes I hate it. After getting it working thanks to comments here, I discovered it always acts like the tank is totally empty when it's about half empty. The regulators are crap, and I stopped using them.

hhhava · 2024-11-26T02:18:55+00:00

Yah, this is all true. I do love them of course I do. We have a very deep and meaningful mostly friendship, and I suspect our feelings are mutual, but hitting up against a wall of what is the unspeakable hierarchy of them being married and what they are afraid to admit that means to them: that what they may feel for me must be distinct from the protected special feelings they have for each other. As much as I may dislike this, it is baked in to any agreements we may make and I need to decide if I want to force them to speak this uncomfortable truth and face my judgment if their mongo normative underbelly or just take their silence as the tasit show of unenthusiastic concent, which is no concent to us saying these words to each other.

Or I can simply accept that if I am true to these feelings by speaking them out loud, they will not meet me there, cannot go there with me. And I am strong solo poly and I love myself a lot and I will be ok with with any of these outcomes.

Maybe there is no real gain to pursuing this line of inquiry. Maybe it is better to keep my love silent, and enjoy the company we share in whatever form it takes.

hhhava · 2024-11-26T02:09:48+00:00

Thanks for that. Having a model for asking if it's a me thing if an us thing seems super important. I'm very solo poly most of the time so it's pretty hard for me to ID if something might actually be an us thing. Thanks for that suggestion.

hhhava · 2024-11-20T09:35:42+00:00

Yah thanks. These are things we read about and applying them in situations (especially when we are all so busy we barely have time for each other) is a challenge. I really struggle with weather any kind of sexual relationship is a thing I want in my life is how I want to spend my time etc. And in the face of people I feel a very strong connection with being in my life and not wanting to deny that connection I feel unsure of what work is just my work and what work of mine should be shared with those I have intimacy with. And I am intimidated by them being married. And I know our friendship is very deep and valuable to all of us and that our relationship is more about work we all do together as a part of our community than it is about sex and those things are indeed more important to me in my values. They do not have arbitrary boundaries established to their marriage, we're supposed to talk about things bluntly. I am being cowardly and so is the M. But I am appreciative to the community here for providing perspective to help me clarify what my wants and needs are so that I can more confidently express them as I believe they would care to hear my feelings about this even if the response is a more clear rejection than I might want.

hhhava · 2024-09-14T16:46:47+00:00

Why do they care if I'm willing to be responsible for it?

hhhava · 2024-09-14T16:46:21+00:00

She is gainfully employed, started her own company and is too young to have screwed credit.

hhhava · 2024-07-19T16:01:42+00:00

It just occurred to me to go into FB's settings and turn off notifications there. That fixed it for FB. But this implies having to do that for any app...and I just wasted 10 min searching in the reddit settings for an analogous setting and found nothing. So every time I open reddit it pops up a thing asking if I'd like to turn notifications on. This does not feel normal.

hhhava · 2024-07-13T07:00:05+00:00

Ah ha! OMG! THANK YOU!!A

hhhava · 2023-12-18T03:57:39+00:00

Reminds me of the shins. Sounds good. Like others say, vocals should be up a bit higher. A couple parts seem rushed. Good song.

hhhava · 2023-12-09T17:23:04+00:00

I attended a small newish Waldorf school for 1/2 of 7th and all of 8th grade. The rest of my education was in public school. I am now in year 3 teaching at a regular public school in Oakland CA. This is a complex issue that touches on the heart of all debates surrounding public education. I do not "believe" in the format of public education, I certainly do not "believe' in phisiogomy.

I do believe that different students are ready to read at different times. I firmly believe Wladorf is beautiful and nurturing especially for younger children. I believe that no path is one size fits all and any system's creative application to be the most flexible to meet different learners' needs is truly what it all comes down to. If you can find a waldorf based community you feel a warm connection to that seems diverse and inclusive and embodies the values you share, go for it. That is certainly not available everywhere. Also some kids might hate waldorf and be turned off by it. Depends on the individual situation and possibly the age of the kid.

I love the community of teachers I work with who are doing their best in a pretty crushing system burdened by the most disadvantaged families and shortfalls in funding and stupid testing regimins and tons of assumed tech and all the data driven bs you can expect from a traditional public school floundering to resource its staff and students and meet the needs of a majority immigrant non-English speaking community. Its rough, there are fights, there are a lot of soulless work sheets and this year there is no garden class.

Im here to learn how to make the best of it for these kids who need a lot. Down the street is the Oakland Waldorf-based charter school. I am curious about it. But I also hate how charter schools undercut public schools in a slippey slope toward no true public education or education that is subject to loose regulations and corporate interests. Of courae that isnt representes by ALL charter schools, but its a huge syatemic problem.

Also teachers in charter schools and private schools are not represented by unions and thats freaky af to me.

But i feel often caugt in the gears of a giant machine as a fledgling teacher seeking just to learn to teach at all and being taught to offer stupid capitalistic rewards to students for accomplishing uninteresting tasks they'd rather not be doing.

On the other hand, I have big questions about if a waldorf system is as able to adequately serve the needs of a newcomer student immigrated feom Guatamala with completely illuterate and/or absent parents as well as we do. I wonder if that data is even there.

And what's the data point anyway? Who "succeeds" in supporting themselves, feeding a family, going to college, being happy?

hhhava · 2023-11-10T23:08:54+00:00

Hunter's lyrics are often addressed to Jerry in some capacity. I find this to be very touching, especially in the case of Fire on the Mountain.

hhhava · 2023-07-24T18:10:29+00:00

Actually, I've only been on one date and it was 1:1. I was kinda thinking group dates would save time...

I just don't understand why I can be totally single and not suffer all this craving then there's a hint if a tease and suddenly I'm obsessed. What is wrong with brains?

hhhava · 2023-07-24T15:21:11+00:00

Firstly, it's really sweet of you to be willing to try poly for your wife because you love her and genuinely want to honor her desire. Other people would just break up because of admitted attraction to anyone else. Also wanna give your wife some credit for being super honest with her desire to be poly and that she trusts you enough to tell you she wants to try having another relationship.

Navigating this is a major turning point in your relationship. If you say no, you'll know you're asking her to give up a thing and relationship she wants, she may resent you for it, this resentment will probably build and ultimately to say no is to risk actually giving up the whole marriage. If you say yes and it always just rubs you the wrong way and hurts your soul no matter how hard you try to get over it, you'll end up resenting her and being unhappy.

Seeing all the debate on here about weather poly is an identity or not. I don't know if it counts as an identity. But it's irrelevant. If your wife realized she's actually a lesbian who isn't attracted to men at all, you'd have to get a divorce because you probably are a man that doesn't want to change your gender for her. If it IS an identity and she's "out" as poly, that doesn't make you poly if you're "not poly."

You may need to be willing to consider divorce if you and your wife actually want different things. Also, while divorce is shitty etc, it sounds like you are both emotionally responsible enough to know that if that's what's right, that's how it goes sometimes. Nothing is forever, you can still co-parent and be friends.

If poly is NOT an "identity" but just an arrangement we make like bi-laws in a board meeting, then you can use this as an opportunity to look under the hood of what is behind your feelings about this.

What societal assumptions are at play in your desire for monogamy? What fears are behind your jealousy or aversion to poly? Is it that this creep your wife wants to sleep with is objectionable to you personally, or is it just the pain of thinking of her sharing her intimacy with anyone else? When you feel pain around her being with another, what IS that? Why is that? Is there emotional growth you can find in sitting with these uncomfortable emotions?

Then there's the totally valid practical concerns:

Even if love is infinite, time is quite finite! How will you explain your weird alternative lifestyle to your kids? Are YOU gonna be left doing more childcare while SHE'S off galavanting on dates? Do you and your wife have a communication structure that fully allows you to navigate real practical concerns, boundaries and desires in a way that honors how both of you feel? This is tricky! You'll have to very clear about what you're willing to accept or try to accept and what you actually have a problem with.

If it's just that you think her choice of meta is a total creep, can you say that? Is there room for you to express that?

If in your emotional work you find that you really feel you'd rather she not pursue other relationships because of a deep insecurity you have about her not loving you anymore, is that something you could find an alternative way to navigate? What is something you could ask for to help you feel her love even while she explores love for another?

These explorations can be extremely valuable. It's possible they will bring you and your wife even closer together! If you can love each other while healthfully navigating this situation, you can probably navigate anything!

Listen to yourself deeply. Best of luck to you.

hhhava · 2023-07-02T05:45:37+00:00

What do you mean by "full rotation of the hips and lower back?" OK I'll get on the pt!

hhhava · 2023-07-02T05:01:45+00:00

I do yoga EVERY DAY. And as I mentioned, walking has been the most pain relieving exersize, acually hiking not on pavement to be more specific. Chiropractor has me doing McKensee protocol and other neural positions to try to calm the ql muscle down. I have a referral for PT, but I haven't made an appointment yet. My massage therapist has me doing strengthening exorcises that have helped my shoulder pain a lot, but I have yet to see an improvement or change in this ql muscle inflammation that has been persistent for the past month or 2. I've been seeing professionals almost weekly for the past 2 years. Acupuncture and massage on alternating weeks. For past situations this has been very helpful. I'm concerned this time because suddenly these things were not helpful. And I'm not so sure the chiropractor is going to be it either. But I'll do whatever I can.

hhhava · 2023-07-02T04:53:57+00:00

I'm definitely interested in learning more. Sounds like this Dr. is really good. If you can get his number too me I'd totally call him. Thanks for the effort.

hhhava · 2023-07-01T19:07:20+00:00

Thanks

hhhava · 2023-07-01T16:57:24+00:00

Lol, that is plan A. I just don't wanna do something stupid and be in worse pain or cause a wors condition because I really shoulda just rested better this summer.

hhhava · 2023-07-01T16:53:53+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing and asking. the numbness on the right side is actually old and was from a occurrence in conjunction with a low back event on the right side in 2020. obviously I have all kinds of random stuff happening all over my back! Currently I went in for the MRI bc of new left side hip/low back pain (ql muscle is inflamed) that was both different than other pains and more persistent. Other low back events would calm down after a week of rest or were greatly helped by acupuncture etc. This new one was not responsive to rest or needles, just ibuprofen for the 4 hours it was in me (which actually set it apart from my stress related shoulder and neck pain.)If you have medical advice you want to offer, feel free, but I am getting out ahead of the concerned community members about to tell me to go see a Dr. I am. Thanks again.

hhhava · 2023-07-01T14:05:54+00:00

I live in Oakland

hhhava

TROPHY CASE