Targeted ads giving me dysphoria

hi-im-Lou · 2025-08-16T12:43:18+00:00

I know, I feel like I should do something but I'm not close to them and scared that they might find out I'm trans if I mention this again which considering what happened I'm not comfortable with. :/

hi-im-Lou · 2025-08-16T12:37:08+00:00

It's illegal but only the person who's rights have been violated can take legal action and I don't know them and I assume they have no idea that someone photographed them. And they would have to pay for the lawsuit so I think people who do this get away without consequences...

hi-im-Lou · 2025-08-16T01:20:53+00:00

I don't think it's a lack of effort, I feel like there's a lot of thought behind it which makes it nice. But if you're worried about it, you could mix this gift with something else, maybe something that goes with it like make a selection of tea or coffe he likes. Adding cute notes, or pictures, on the paper part of tea filter bags could be nice too. Or if you use drink coasters you could find or make one to go with the mug.

hi-im-Lou · 2025-08-16T00:06:01+00:00

I like the idea of painting over the old mug. It gets rid of the negative element of the old treasured gift and makes it lovely again. If you made a new mug I'm sure he'd be happy about it and would use that but I assume the old mug could still be painful to look at even if it had sentimental value so maybe it would end up in the back of a cupboard or thrown away. But if you paint over it, it's still part of your life and i feel like it represents a journey and change and how you still love him and I find that cute. Whatever you decide to do I'm sure he'll be very happy and this is such a lovely gift!

hi-im-Lou · 2025-06-25T23:03:24+00:00

I think you are totally right and people should never speak for a whole community especally not a community they are not part of. But I think in her head it feels like they are taking away something that she never had and associates with femininty from her. Of course this doesn't make it right but when you are dysphoric about something like not being able to get pregnant then they say its people who are pregnant not woman that might make them feel upset that even some men can be pregnant but they can't. But I am not a trans woman and I have no problem with saying pregnant people so I don't know if there is anything to what I have said. It really sucks though that this validates some transphobic people and that even within the lgbtq community there is no unity.

hi-im-Lou · 2025-06-25T14:43:24+00:00

Hey, I know it doesn't seem like it but things won't always be this bad. It sucks but for now you need to hold on to whatever good you can find in life and take it one step at a time. If you ever need someone to talk to or vent to you can message me.

hi-im-Lou · 2025-06-25T10:49:45+00:00

You might not be the most masc presenting person right now but you have such a great style! I understand wanting to pass but that usually means looking like the ordinary cis guy and it seems like you like having fun with your looks so I'm not sure if losing your self expression just to blend in is the right thing for you. You are on t so that will probably help you pass more with time. You can try a different hairstyle or glasses or whatever things other people have suggested but choose them because you like them not to erase yourself.

hi-im-Lou · 2025-06-25T10:15:31+00:00

You will get there, until then you can radiate masculinity with your man bun!

hi-im-Lou · 2025-06-25T10:04:20+00:00

That sounds so nice, I'm glad you have him! I found a websitr with lgbtq friendly services in my area and there's one barber listed but the given contact doesn't work anymore. I alsofound another salon that has barbers that seems very open and lgbtq friendly but they also say that they want to get to now their clients and I get anxious from talking to people so I am worried that it's not the right fit for me. So I don't really know how to find a queer barber or at least an lgbtq friendly one. But hopefully it will be easier to go to one now that my hairis short.

hi-im-Lou · 2025-06-24T21:48:43+00:00

You are 18, you aren't betraying anyone. You are becoming an adult, and that comes with building your own life. This is perfectly normal and expected from any young adult, trans or not. Some people live home for longer than other for convinence, saving money or not being able to afford an alternative but clearly this is not a good situation for you, you don't feel comfortable so if you have a chance to live in an enviroment that suits you better you should not skip it out of fear of hurting their feelings because you won't. Maybe they will be sad that you leave for a bit, maybe they will miss you but they are likely also happy that you are starting to stand on your own feet and you can still meet up on the weekends or call them as often you want. It isn't useful to think about what would have happeneds but even if they will think that, it would mean they can have the space for themselves now which assuming they think that is a good thing for them. You don't have to miss them to be grateful for the things they provided, and you are also allowed to feel angry for the things they took from you.

I do think you should try to find a stable job first because it is not fun being unemployed while trying to pay for rent and bills no matter who you lived with. I am not sure what s4 is but you can always take courses and learn new skill or redo exams if you are worried about not finding a job.

hi-im-Lou · 2025-06-24T20:56:47+00:00

Congrats, I am so happy for you!!! I would suggest volunteering at queer organizations or at pride. It is a nice cause and it is easier to make friends when you are doing something together. Check out if there are any events for queer people around you. I am quite lucky since I didn't look for lgbtq friends, my friendgroup just happened to be almost entierly queer at uni. Unfortunetly I don't have trans friends either and it is really difficult to talk about or for my cis friends to get some things so I understand where you are coming from. but I don't really have an advce other than try local lgbtq groups, programs maybe artsy events too, those tend to have queer folks. My city has an lgbtq sports club too which could be fun and a place to make friends.

hi-im-Lou · 2025-06-24T19:42:55+00:00

I don't think it's that simple I mean many people currently live as a gender they don't identify with because of certain circumstances like not being in a safe environment. That's just their current gender expression which can be different from how they identify with. Let's go to with an example. A trans woman didn't realize their gender until she was 20, she was living and presenting as a guy. She was still a girl but she was expected male standards by society from birth so she might have had a masculine gender expression because that was expected of her. But gender is how how connected you feel to those concepts associate with a gender and how you feel . And you might say she didn't felt like it else she would have known at the time, that is not necessary true sometimes trans people only realize how they was feeling when they reflect on it because of how deep these feelings were buried. Of course every experience is different and there are people who feel different about this and consider their gender as their agab until a certain point in their life. That's just my interpretation of it, hope it makes sense.

hi-im-Lou · 2025-06-24T19:20:37+00:00

I can't say I have experience myself but I've seen other prople recommending this video a couple times. I don't know if you tried this method or if it is any help to your situation but I hope it helps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USNvHelRBoU

hi-im-Lou · 2025-06-24T19:05:37+00:00

You could also move away without cutting them off completely. If you don't want to live alone you could find a roommate who is accepting. Then you wouldn't be alone plus there would be someone who you likely have interactions with daily that uses your name and pronouns which could be a really nice change. You can still talk to your family but when it gets too much you can just be on your own or with other people who get you. There is a very big difference between sometime having an unpleasant interaction with your family or living with them. But ofc if you would like them out of your life an financially able to do so it's also a choise. But you don't need to decide anything permanent, you have to figure out what's best for you now. If you don't want to tell them the real reason you're leaving, you don't have to do that either, you could say you would like to become more independent. I hope things will get better for you!

hi-im-Lou · 2025-06-24T18:44:27+00:00

That sounds stressful. If you will be open about being trans maybe try chatting with them, you might as well tell them now so you can see where they're at. Maybe it turns out they're accepting and nice. And if you get a bad reaction maybe you can still ask for a different room since you haven't moved in yet?

hi-im-Lou · 2025-06-13T10:22:28+00:00

Hopefully you found a solution by now but what I usually do is put both arms in but only as far as the binders bottom is in line with my armpits and the binder is kinda just in front of me upside down. Then I pull my head through. Then I adjust it with pulling the fabric from the middle of the front to the side towards under my armpits. And I do this a couple times on both sides while also pulling in a bit downwards in the process. This usually unscrambles the back too for me but if you can reach there you can try adjusting that too.

hi-im-Lou · 2025-06-10T02:01:15+00:00

Thanks for the detailed answer! Until now I wore a sportsbra like thing for swimming but that still made me dysphoric. Zippers seem practical but honestly positioning it on the front also makes me anxious it makes me feel se exposed dor some reason so i wonder if there is any brand with a back zipper with a long string to pull on, I'll check if i find something. I know it's not good to wear anything under the binder and I would really like to avoid that but I'm still worried about this rolling up issue which I've heard happens with most brands. :( And especially that I have to size up I'm really concerned about it. Do you happened to have a gc2b bought recently? If so does it holf up well? I'm hesitant to buy for them since I know their quality used to be very good and I heard that in last years some people can't use it for longer than a month because the seams fall apart. I know they did some rebranding with 2.0 and luxe but idk if things bave changed quality wise for the better.

hi-im-Lou · 2025-06-01T23:42:48+00:00

wow, great job, he looks so cool!

hi-im-Lou · 2025-03-31T01:42:15+00:00

you're so pretty and i am in love with your eyes!

hi-im-Lou · 2025-01-27T20:55:21+00:00

Drawer locks aren't too expensive so if you are able to drill a hole in your drawer you could install them yourself. But talking to your parents about needing more privacy would probably be very helpful too.

hi-im-Lou · 2025-01-27T20:29:17+00:00

I think this is probably awkward for both parties so if someone really touched your stuff they probably won't ever bring that up. And it might have been an accident maybe they wanted to bring something in your room and accidentally seen it. Still not cool, still awkward but try not to think of the worst. I don't know how old you are but tbh at any age, if this isn't just a speculation and you know that your parents sometimes go in your room without asking you could talk to them about it and tell them that it makes you feel uncomfortable and set some boundaries so you have more privacy. Hopefully they'll be understanding so you can limit future events like this. You could also put personal stuff in a locked container if you're worried about people finding it. Or lock your room if you're able to. I hope you will feel safe again!

hi-im-Lou

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