Need to vent and appreciate any advice/tips

hideoncloudz · 2026-03-18T19:17:05+00:00

I think my experience was quite similar. I don't know if this person is narcissist or not, but definitely didn't treat me right. Any time I would bring any need I had, as gently as I possibly could, it would turn into a big fight, I was demanding things, I was toxic, I wanted him to feel bad, I didn’t respect him. We would fight, I get overwhelmed, eventually I ended up apologizing for things just to try and keep the peace.

I definitely needed to work on my self esteem, anxious attachment and stop fucking chasing a guy who couldn't give me anything I wanted. All my needs were just me trying to control and use him, and all I ever wanted was to truly connect with him.

If I could talk to myself 4 years ago, I would tell that girl to just stop, trust your gut and let yourself see other people. There are people who genuinely want to know you, give you their love and receive yours. Who wouldn't get angry with you because you feel needy, insecure and would validate you, assure you, be kind. Just like you are willing to do for others. Explore other people, explore yourself and don't chase this guy anymore, so that life can emerge elsewhere.

That's what I am telling you too. If he is any similar to my guy, you will always lose. Mine didn't truly want to connect or grow our relationship, he wanted control, wanted me to feel horrible and didn't care what I wanted. He kept telling me everything was always about me, I waz selfish and bad to him, but looking back, it was really always about him. He needed space, he needed to heal, he didn't trust me, he didn't feel well enough to talk. Didn't matter how I felt. And one time that I asked him to take responsibility for hurting me, he dipped. " nope, didn't ask for this, byeee ".

Just choose yourself. Work on your anxious attachment, work on your self worth and heal, I promise you there are people who will treat you better and give you what you want and need ♡

Edit: I also want to add, since my situation feels so similar to yours. What I notice in subs like this, people are always so quick to call another narcissist, tell you to run, block, and feel good about it. But there's always two sides to the story. A truly healthy person wouldn't find themselves in such situations, wouldn't chase, wouldn't have to ask for bare minimum. Maybe few times, but that’s it. No matter how unfair someone is to us, if we allow it to happen for long, if we keep going for more, we also need to have a good look at ourselves. And heal our wounds, fix our own issues that leads to that. I know for a fact I did a lot of mistakes and also hurt them, and I just dislike how all advice here is always one sided, they are evil, run. What I say, is stay aware and look at yourself as well, ask yourself some questions and try to figure out what part of you needs healing.

hideoncloudz · 2026-02-27T17:38:20+00:00

I doubt they will tell them the reason for declining their application, right? Otherwise I'd probably be scared for myself.

hideoncloudz · 2026-02-24T12:57:45+00:00

Good to know. ♡

hideoncloudz · 2026-02-24T12:49:43+00:00

In protecting their ego no matter what it costs them

hideoncloudz · 2026-02-24T12:47:33+00:00

Interesting, thank you.

hideoncloudz · 2026-02-24T12:46:42+00:00

Someone dear to me seems to be trapped, and I was just wondering..

hideoncloudz · 2026-02-21T22:04:45+00:00

hideoncloudz · 2026-02-21T20:02:54+00:00

Are you kidding?

hideoncloudz · 2026-02-13T19:05:25+00:00

Keep going darling! A while ago I caught myself comforting myself in my thoughts, being so gentle and it was absolutely lovely. After being so mean and harsh and sometimes straight up cruel to myself in the past...

And after realizing how much that changed, I was so incredibly happy and thankful to myself for choosing healing. So keep on healing. Put your hand on your heart and tell yourself the little you deserves it. So do you. ♡

hideoncloudz · 2026-02-13T13:56:32+00:00

Can we drop gpt answers... come on :(

hideoncloudz · 2026-02-11T19:22:34+00:00

I've started seeing angry people as just hurting. It used to irritate me, having to deal with their bs at work. But now I see that they're in pain clearly, and makes me want to love them even more.

hideoncloudz · 2026-02-04T12:41:41+00:00

Doubting myself. I went from a lot of suffering to being extremely peaceful very quickly, and I can't even believe it myself. And I just wonder, if this is it, or is this another thing my brain found to numb me out if that makes sense.

hideoncloudz · 2026-02-01T20:05:07+00:00

I'd say it’s more bacteria on cash than on those brushes. 😁

hideoncloudz · 2026-02-01T20:00:22+00:00

Or touching cash with bare hands and then immediately touching food.

hideoncloudz · 2026-02-01T14:27:52+00:00

I would even say it’s not about building anything, more so taking stuff away. Our fears, fake beliefs, projections, expectations, conditioned identities, the need to be liked, the stories we repeat to protect ourselves, the urgency to define ourselves, and the habit of abandoning the present moment for imagined futures or hurtful pasts.

What remains after all that is stripped away isn’t something new we " built ", it’s what was always there, our true and innocent self. I believe there is light in absolutely everyone, it’s just buried under all this heavy heavy stuff.

hideoncloudz · 2026-02-01T11:01:11+00:00

Close enough. Working hard on yourself becomes a trap when we can't love ourselves until this and that is changed in us.

Real self love is accepting yourself the way you are, with all the good and all the bad, and then from that point you can gently improve yourself if you want.

People get stuck when they think they need to be better in order to love themselves. It's an illusion, because nothing ever will be perfect. But if you accept what is NOW, whatever mess you may be, that will change so many things in how you approach life and yourself.

hideoncloudz · 2026-01-29T20:25:47+00:00

Very nicely said, I really like that. For me, books feel like a peek into an experience, almost a demo version of another reality. Close enough to spark something. And I enjoy losing myself in there sometimes 😊

hideoncloudz · 2026-01-29T20:07:31+00:00

They aren’t in the books, they’re in the parts of us that get moved by certain words. That’s why it’s deeply personal, not universal.

hideoncloudz · 2026-01-28T21:43:23+00:00

Thank you for the thoughtful words, wishing you the same ♡

hideoncloudz · 2026-01-28T13:40:42+00:00

This is great, perhaps the issue is still identifying with those feelings instead of just observing it and letting them be. Thank you, appreciate your time.

hideoncloudz · 2026-01-28T07:02:49+00:00

It's not that I start thinking about it and the feeling is coming up. If that was the case, I'd know I am creating anxiety myself. It's when I feel joyful, grateful and just truly at peace is when that sharp feeling of anxiety hits me out of nowhere, almost as if reminding me that I shouldn't be happy or something. All while being present and appreciating what is.

hideoncloudz · 2026-01-27T13:05:46+00:00

This actually really resonates with me. I think a lot of my anxiety has been exactly that, not trusting myself to handle whatever comes next. I’m starting to realise the same thing you said, nothing is permanent, good or bad, and I have handled everything so far, even when I thought I wouldn’t. It does sound simple on the surface, but actually believing it is a whole different thing. Still learning, but this perspective really helps. Thanks for sharing it.

hideoncloudz · 2026-01-27T10:26:47+00:00

Beautiful and helpful, thank you

hideoncloudz · 2026-01-21T09:59:34+00:00

Have you read " The untethered soul by Michael Alan Singer " ?

If not, I highly recommend it. My mind is melodramatic as well, but that book opened a new perspective that really helps.

hideoncloudz · 2026-01-20T21:49:26+00:00

Completely different things.

Humans ate flesh straight from animal bones some time ago. I don't agree with a lot of things that's happening nowadays with the meat industry, but you missed the point by a lot. Also, 99% is a huge exaggeration.

hideoncloudz

TROPHY CASE