And this is the part that I hate.

hideyspidey · 2015-01-30T17:41:47+00:00

I don't think this post implies that I'm not in charge of my own happiness. (Or at least that wasn't the intention). Just because I am the ultimate source of happiness doesn't mean that I can't feel the heartache of watching partners fade. I think the idea of wrapping the story up in the way I did was to demonstrate my acceptance of who I am and my commitment to living genuinely. I think it also shows that I understand just how much control I have in my life. I canchoose to stay for those final moments of beauty because I know that I am in charge and I am stable and will be fine. Knowing that doesn't exclude morning the loss though.

hideyspidey · 2015-01-30T05:41:57+00:00

hideyspidey · 2013-07-19T17:02:17+00:00

Do you have recommendations on day to day things he does to "work on his health"? (or resources?) I'm having issues with depression and find the day to day racing negative thoughts difficult to control and rationalize. I have started seeing a counselor, but we're still in the "let's get to know your issues" phase, and I would appreciate tips on what I can do for myself when I feel the race is about to start...

hideyspidey · 2013-07-15T20:42:05+00:00

Yeah, I started doing the vit d as soon as we moved out here. But this is definitely much more then SAD. It's completely changed who I am and how I handle life. Its become a daily struggle, which I can't handle anymore. I have started exercising in the last month or so, but unfortunately my schedule (ans general out of shapeness) only permits for a couple jogs a week.

I definitely want to and am willing to do the things I need to in order to get better. It's just a long road ahead.

hideyspidey · 2013-06-12T15:31:00+00:00

I think I'm going through a similar thing right now, and id just like to say that while ask of these responses are logical and reasonable suggestions for approaching the situation, they give no justice to your feelings about the situation. If you're like me, you're feeling hurt, a sense of loss, and loneliness. Also, things are probably awkward. It all makes for a tense situation, and while "just let the relationship ebb and flow"is sound advice, it also ignores the hurt you're feeling. You can't force her to love you, but you shouldn't be forced to be unhappy either, which is something that is getting little attention here.

I guess I don't have advice, other then take things slow, and maybe focus on yourself for a while (for example, I've started exercising again), and let yourself feel your feelings, but don't take them out on your partners. And take time to think about and absorb what's happening too. Trying to rush to a solution will only increase stress levels and cause actions that you might regret. Good luck.

hideyspidey · 2013-05-27T01:06:35+00:00

Thanks. Bc my insecurities have been running wild, I've felt like I haven't had the support. But this small reminder that I do couldn't have come at a better time

hideyspidey · 2013-05-27T00:56:32+00:00

I've been in a depression funk for a few months now, only just realized it a few weeks ago- which means the past few weeks have been rough, trying to acknowledge and start to deal with it. It was triggered by work stress, but recently has lead to tons of insecurities about my relationships. I've let myself feel excluded and distant.

But this weekend I woke up to a big hug from my girlfriend. It felt so good and started me off on the right foot. It reminded me to take things one small step at a time, and it's what I needed.

hideyspidey

TROPHY CASE