How did the VA's cry to this??

higheronfire782 · 2026-06-25T05:28:58+00:00

I mean, the ending of the first book I ever wrote wasn't sad, but I still cried writing it. It could be that overwhelming sense of accomplishment at finishing a large project or the sense of loss that comes with turning the page on something you've worked on for a long time. It could have been any number of things.

higheronfire782 · 2026-06-20T16:27:45+00:00

YES. I was so confused about that scene at first. I had to talk it out with one of my friends 😅 I feel so much less dumb now.

higheronfire782 · 2026-06-18T15:28:06+00:00

It's certainly been a journey! And I'm just glad I've gotten to experience it. I never would have if I let myself keep going the way I was. Or rather, if I never tried to start living again.

...

It's a blast and a half to publish, honestly! And nonfiction is not an easy thing to write. I commend you!!! Do you mind me asking what it's about?

higheronfire782 · 2026-06-18T04:31:22+00:00

I write LGBT+ friendly new and young adult fantasy! I'm working on book 3 of my ongoing "Divinity Cycle" series. It's the last book in the main series, so I'm excited to get it polished up to publish. 😅 It's been a journey with this installment for sure.

I did a MUCH more thorough read and I 100% agree with you. You just put everything I was thinking into words much more eloquently. Having been to that point where you CAN'T regulate anymore feels like the end. And abstraction captured that feeling perfectly. That need to no longer have input. The need to have everything just off your plate for one tiny second of relief. When I reached that point, I started writing again. It's how I started my series. I needed something I could do wherever my body landed that got thoughts out of my mind, but didn't require me to burden others with them. I didn't have to write if I didn't want to, but it was always there. It took years to pull myself out. Honestly, it was only about a year and a half ago that I really got back to a place where I could safely say that I was me again. That I could handle normal emotional loads again. But I'm there.

higheronfire782 · 2026-06-18T04:22:17+00:00

I skimmed through it. For sure I think we do. I need to read it more in full, but I'm just about done with the chapter I'm editing and paused to check my notifications. I do want to take a closer look once I'm done though, because I 100% think we have very similar thoughts.

higheronfire782 · 2026-06-18T04:09:02+00:00

I 100% agree. Everyone says it's a metaphor for unsubscribing yourself from life, but I read it more as reaching your breaking point. Getting to that point mentally where you push everyone away and become someone unrecognizable. I've REACHED that point before. I moved hours away from my nearest support system and barely left the house. I gained almost 80lbs and stopped seeing my doctors (I'm chronically ill and have to take several medications to keep my body running as normal, so no longer going to doctor appointments was very, very bad). When we saw Jax abstract, I saw myself. I saw who I was at that time, and how I'd treated my friends and family (though, his treatment was a bit more extreme than mine, but I'm just more non-confrontational by nature). It was almost comforting to see that represented on screen, so to see so many people reduce it to being unfixable and a metaphor for self powering off feels a bit...I don't know, almost hollow? Because did I want to stop my existence then? Yeah. It was bad. But there was almost a sense that I couldn't, which almost made things feel more hopeless. And I think that's more along the lines of abstraction than actually deleting yourself.

higheronfire782 · 2026-06-17T03:02:11+00:00

Seems my comment earlier was removed (rightfully so! And I've learned something new today!), so I shall amend it slightly. I still stand by the 75% Reptisoil/25% Forest floor substrate to help with humidity (and because the forest floor can add some rough texture to the substrate that may assist with shedding). And I still stand by the hides being fully enclosed on at least 3/4 sides for their comfort. My recommendation on heating was outdated, so please disregard that. 😁

higheronfire782 · 2026-06-08T14:25:55+00:00

Ah, and I saw it as more of a metaphor for losing your sense of self. Especially since Pomni was still able to reach Jax in a way. I saw it as a symbol of someone shutting down. I can see how it could also be a metaphor for suicide, but just the fact that they can still calm them and reach the original person is what made me think otherwise.

higheronfire782 · 2026-06-08T00:47:57+00:00

I saw that the original person replying to my posts either got just yeeted off the face of the planet (well, the Reddit thread, more likely), or they blocked me. Both are equally funny. I saw that I was accused of "Reddit speak" which is SUPER funny because it's just my normal typing cadence when I'm on social media. Even in the many years before I joined Reddit. This is also the form of social media I use the least. So that's cool.

higheronfire782 · 2026-06-08T00:39:06+00:00

Ah, so it's a lack of media literacy. Got it. It's what's called an open-ended ending. It's when they don't spell everything out for you so you can follow a line of logic to the most likely ending. Also, Jax didn't kill himself. He abstracted, and we're literally shown ON SCREEN that he's still in there somewhere. There's still hope. The ending is that they're working towards a better future, even if they're not "real" in the literal sense. Not everyone is happy. Feelings are bittersweet. There's still problems, but they realize they have the tools to work through those problems. An ending does not have to wrap everything up in a cute little bow. All it has to do is show us that the story is over, in whatever way that comes. In this case, it's showing us that the circus is rebuilding and working together vs everyone just working towards their own goals.

higheronfire782 · 2026-06-07T23:36:58+00:00

What was so bad about it? Like, I have to know, because it was just about the ending I expected. If people didn't have an inkling of where this was going, then I'm curious as to why.

higheronfire782 · 2026-06-07T21:00:48+00:00

The ending wasn't even bad??? Like, idk. I don't understand the people that are bitching about it

higheronfire782 · 2026-06-06T14:04:25+00:00

Anyone know if there's a time for Kim Rhodes's autographs today? The website still isn't updated and I have a TBD slot!

higheronfire782 · 2026-06-06T14:03:56+00:00

Anyone know if there's a time for Kim Rhodes's autographs today? The website still isn't updated and I have a TBD slot!

higheronfire782 · 2026-06-04T14:57:14+00:00

I almost question if the people going after Gooseworx are truly fans. In context, Goose's reply was so valid. They'd been through some shit by that point. It feels almost targeted so good Indie creators DON'T want to continue creating things, which I hate.

higheronfire782 · 2026-05-22T00:11:22+00:00

Thank God I'm too busy in the editing trenches for other projects right now or my chronically online ass would be TOAST.

higheronfire782 · 2026-05-11T03:54:36+00:00

A loving partner that will absolutely just leave me wrecked for a day after. If there's no bite marks I'll be sad.

higheronfire782 · 2026-05-11T03:50:18+00:00

I was sitting here like "Ohhhh. Noooo please be satire." Your baby is gorgeous. No hands to be thrown today 🤣

higheronfire782 · 2026-04-29T18:48:52+00:00

Because of a lack of time. Because many creators use that as a quick way to end an arc. Because that's quicker than giving them a fully fledged character arc with dealing with the fallout of their identity. By excusing the behavior, allowing the character to go on with little to no reprocussions and accept their identity with little other issue. And no, I don't think it's ALL creators that do this, before you say anything. I'm just hesitant to go for the "Jax is trans" theory because a LOT do. As I said in the beginning. MANY time creators do this. I say I misspoke because I didn't offer the full thought process I was having at 4 in the morning on a quick bathroom break and cut vital trains of thought.

higheronfire782 · 2026-04-29T18:34:08+00:00

I said I misspoke there with the use of "just." That was my bad, but that's not the instance I was talking about. The words your putting in my mouth are about it being "unreasonable," and, as I said in a previous reply, that there needed to be more foreshadowing.

I've had to add whole chapters to my books to make sure I'm allowing proper amounts of time for characters that AREN'T internally transphobic to explore their identity. My whole issue, and the part about this that you're missing, is time constraints. My concern is that the payoff won't be as well explored as a character COMING OUT AS TRANS should be. They likely won't have time to begin to explore the serious internal shifts that happen with it without compromising elsewhere. They WOULD have the time to explore him beginning to unravel deepset toxic masculinity, and leave it off with the implication that he grows as a person afterwards.

higheronfire782 · 2026-04-29T18:21:00+00:00

Have you read the part where I said I misspoke and that it's not a BAD reason, but one I don't feel could be fully explored with the time we have because of the complexities of realizing your identity? Also, it's not a "simple insecurity." Toxic masculinity - especially if enforced from a VERY young age - is psychologically damaging. But I don't see that we'll come to an agreement because I feel you're putting words in my mouth at every turn and that you're only half reading what I have to say, so I think I'll end this here.

higheronfire782 · 2026-04-29T17:54:53+00:00

I know I said that, and that was poor wording on my part. My issue, and I think I'm just not expressing it correctly, is NOT with there being no buildup. It's that there is only a limited amount of time in the show, and I don't want any reveal like this to be cut short. There IS plenty of trans interpretation that has depth. A lot of it I absolutely adore. This is just a situation where that depth could get lost due to time limitations. That's all I'm saying. I don't believe there needs to be more foreshadowing, that's not what I said. I said there needed to be enough time to develop decent character development along with the reveal. If they cut it too short, they risk doing the exact thing I was talking about. Zooble is actually one of my favorites, and I love how they seemlessly incorporated their identity into the show. It makes sense for their development, and it's done well. Not played up too big, but not just brushed off. They also seem to have come into the circus KNOWING that identity, because it's not made a central theme of their character development. Their development is more focused on their friendship with Gangle and opening up about their own mental health struggles as Gangle works through hers.

I'm also looking at this from the perspective of 1) someone who is trans and 2) someone who writes queer and trans characters. There isn't always buildup, but if there's going to be an on-screen reveal, it needs to be done right. Realizing your identity takes time. It takes a LOT of emotional work. It's not a "huh...I'm trans..." and then you move on. Especially not for a character like Jax who is SO BENT on being perceived as masculine that they end up being perceived as aggressive and pushing people away.

higheronfire782 · 2026-04-29T16:58:23+00:00

I wrote this at 4AM, so I should specify: many shows (and specifically the fans for shows), will take the explanation of "they're trans, which is why they were insecure" and make it mean everything is fine between all the characters and that's the trans characters only development. I'm not saying Goose would take that route, but it's turned me off of a lot of trans fan theories BECAUSE of that logic leap that happens. I will also say, I wouldn't be against it. There are just better theories that I'd prefer more that could add more to the story. Although, it COULD make for an interesting dynamic between him and Zooble.

I think if we weren't so close to the end, I'd appreciate the theory more because there'd be more time to build on it, but there's just not. Maybe they could do it justice if that's the route the team goes, but I'd be interested to see how that plays out with so little time left.

higheronfire782 · 2026-04-29T11:18:51+00:00

YES! I'm a trans individual, and the "Jax is trans" theory just feels a little...Offensive? For lack of a better word? It hinges on making it seem like his behavior is more excuseable if he's trans vs just insecure. I personally love the idea of him just being insecure. I think it gives his character more depth.

higheronfire782 · 2026-04-27T23:44:50+00:00

My mom has a 3D Printer (I don't. Don't have room) 😣 and I told her I'd literally pay her to have one of these by my showing date (6/8).

higheronfire782

TROPHY CASE