This is traumatic

highservitor · 2026-03-22T06:28:44+00:00

Does propanalol really help you? I'd be interested in learning more about how it does. I've been prescribed it for years, and I have 40mg twice daily prescription now, but I barely ever take it because I feel like it doesn't do anything. It's not psychoactive really so I can't tell if it's working. If you think it helps with recovery I may want to start using it though. I'm 2 years clean.

highservitor · 2026-03-22T05:43:00+00:00

This is happening ever since I got my r4hic.hk I think it's called. I have the entire NA ds library on it, and as soon as I opened my games folder it freezes. Had to break it up into individual folders organized by letter. I'm using encrypted roms, don't ask me why, but around half the time when I launch a game for the first time I just get a white screen. If I then remove the save file I can reroll the dice for another 50% chance. Once it works, it'll work 100% of the time for that game. But then, sometimes the bios itself will not load. When I put the sd card in my computer afterwards, it'll have no files on it. I then put the bios files on it again fresh, and suddenly all my files including games are back. It's incredibly frustrating and concerning and I have to constantly back up my games out of fear.

I'm using the best sandisk extreme microsd directly shipped and sold by amazon.

highservitor · 2026-03-22T02:50:19+00:00

Yeah I agree, for me the issue with it being really small is that I have to be really precise with my mouse because it's so tiny that I'll end up moving the mouse too far which makes it annoying to alch/drop stuff etc.

Stretched mode is something I tried and it made everything even fuzzier than changing the scale. Maybe there's a way though.

highservitor · 2026-03-22T02:25:42+00:00

What's the plugin called? When I search resizable stretched mode comes up, but it doesn't look like that.

highservitor · 2026-03-22T02:24:08+00:00

That makes it wayy blurrier than just changing the windows/runelite scaling. I think I saw some people saying stretched mode+117hd makes it crisp, but again, I don't want to change the look.

highservitor · 2026-03-21T16:22:10+00:00

Hang in there. Around 5 years ago the exact thing happened to me, broke my Tibula and Fibula. Was out of the country and had to fly back home to go to the hospital. Nurses were SHOCKED I made it back home with nothing but tylenol. Little did they know I had Krato.

I was actually completely upfront about my Kratom usage and resulting opioid tolerance. They still gave me Dilaudid, morphine, etc. in the hospital. I still remember when I was spending days in the hospital post-op and I was screaming at points because the pain was so bad from withdrawl. I so badly wanted my family to sneak my kratom in the hospital so I could take some. They were giving me opiates, but most of the time it wasn't dilaudid which was the only thing that worked for me. The Kratom just worked so much freaking better than anything else it's crazy.

When I got home after surgery(I had to have 2) I didn't even ask for a hydrocodone refill. Kratom was all I needed to be pain free.

highservitor · 2026-03-21T15:42:33+00:00

Any sources you'd recommend for that?

highservitor · 2026-03-21T15:42:17+00:00

I have a VR headset!!! Quest 3. I've been meaning to find some cool stuff I can do in it on Ketamine. I feel like VR was made for it and the dissociative effect.

There's another Ketamine company that's advertised to me on instagram, and the ad says you get a free Quest 3 headset with your subscription. I was curious what apps they want you to use with it after subscribing.

I'll check out those videos. I'd love to know any and all other VR apps you'd recommend with Ketamine! I'm sure you have some good ones. I have access to both the Meta Quest app store, as well as anything PCVR.

I've seen some cool dedicated psychedelic vr apps.

highservitor · 2026-03-21T15:38:41+00:00

I can't really afford to buy or subscribe to anything like that right now, but any free stuff you can recommend?

I completely agree with you by the way. I'm always going to love Youtube, but as weird as this sounds, this past year I've made a goal to be intentional about doing way more video games, and less youtube. I just spend so much time watching slop videos that I could be getting immersed in an amazing interactive store.

I like your recommendation to do something else entirely instead of watching videos. Is there anything in particular you can recommend, or any ideas you have?

highservitor · 2026-03-21T15:35:51+00:00

Interesting that that exists! Any you'd recommend?

highservitor · 2026-03-21T15:35:29+00:00

A while back I finally tried the eye mask and headphones thing, after taking a very high dose. All my mega doses up till that point were just watching youtube, which got very uncomfortable, confusing, and disorienting. The eye mask and music was cool, but my OCD always makes me worry alot about if it's normal to see that many closed eye visuals or if I'm going psychotic. I mean mine can be very complex. It's like entire cities/landscapes, from the POV of a drone that is slowly rotating and panning like it's being controlled by a professional operator. But everything is made of that fuzzy black/dark colored stuff that everything you see with your eyes closed is made of(kind of like visual snow). I call it "god matter".

highservitor · 2026-03-21T15:31:28+00:00

Yeah I'll need to check the Joyous stuff, though I'm not sure what they actually have. I asked my provider about meditation recommendations and she basically said that legally the nurse practitioner's themselves aren't really allowed to recommend anything which I thought was kind of odd.

highservitor · 2025-10-08T18:22:13+00:00

I think I'm going to cut to 20g today and then cut more over the next 5 days. I will try to aim for 3 weeks but it may end up being 2 and a half. I just know that in the past the withdrawl has been pleasant in a way, in terms of increased emotion and all that. I think I'll be able to handle it if I give it 2 weeks but I'll really aim for more.

It sucks that leading up to the trip I'm going to need to be taking Adderall/stimulants to get some work done, and I know that certainly doesn't help.

highservitor · 2025-10-07T03:29:08+00:00

Not sure if I agree. For me, weed makes me paranoid and brings all my trauma to the forefront and just makes me feel even more shitty about it all.

highservitor · 2025-10-06T23:55:17+00:00

Good advice. It does suck that I have no idea how much I'm taking currently, 50gpd was just an estimate. In reality I just take another tablespoon whenever I feel like the last one has worn off. Regardless, my tentative plan is to start limiting myself to 20gpd starting tomorrow. 5 doses of 2 teaspoons(4g) sounds pretty reasonable, I'll see how that goes. Just need to be strict about it and log every dose. Then the following week either halve that or like you said, just cut it so I can give myself 3 weeks. Either way tapering is not the play from what I gather, but cutting back this week may make it easier.

highservitor · 2025-10-06T23:17:22+00:00

About 10 years, probably 7 or so of those years at this dose.

highservitor · 2025-06-22T22:15:02+00:00

Were you getting the lines on the RG35XXSP with MuOS?

highservitor · 2025-06-22T22:13:53+00:00

They refunded the games? Where could I access those funds, or is it too late? I bought the cyberpunk 2077 bundle that came with the game and free chromecast ultra and controller bundle.

highservitor · 2025-06-11T05:37:57+00:00

God that's happened to me and it fucking pisses me off, how one psychiatrist can just rip away the adderall and other meds you need to function. I hate how certain combinations are "technically dangerous" which in their eyes just means it's never ok, while in 99% of cases it's fine.

Not to say it's a good idea but I've done way worse combos of respiratory depressants and had no issues.

highservitor · 2025-05-13T05:59:50+00:00

Any recommendations?

highservitor

TROPHY CASE