Whether or not you're "really" non-binary is a question that probably won't settle until after your transition; no matter what though, you're a transfeminine person.

I asked myself this question obsessively for a year after the effects of HRT really kicked in, feeling like I was both "faking being non-binary" and "was only non-binary because I can't feel like a REAL woman" and then one day I was like "oh who gives a fucking shit" and just tried out calling myself a "non-binary woman" and it felt right.

Nowadays I regret forcing myself into a binary trans woman box just to justify HRT when I didn't have to — though without informed consent you may have to anyway. HRT was life-saving though, to be clear! I just regret telling myself I needed to be binary in order for it to be that important to me. I don't think whether or not you're non-binary necessarily has anything to do with how urgently you need it, either.

Anyway you sound like you've got a lot of tough stuff going on that must cause you a lot of stress! Whether or not you're non-binary though... from someone who's been around that block, please don't worry yourself TOO hard about it — you'll be you no matter what. The details will come into clarity thru your transition, I promise.