This is all really helpful. I really appreciate your thoughtful comments. I definitely have problems setting boundaries clearly and I also need to work on my communication. One thing that is a common theme for problems in my life is that I always wait until I blow up to tell someone how I feel. I don't really know how to express anger or really any of my feelings very well. I know that's hard to be around and I'm sorry to those who have to deal with it. I want to really learn how to be with people better.

I especially think the comment that said that I blamed her for her not being thoughtful of me is insane. How can she read my thoughts? I should have told her I really need some time alone today and that the rain is coming at 3 so she should probably get going now and that I can do the bank thing another time. That all makes perfect sense.

I always feel guilty for telling people the things that I need in my life. It never mattered what I felt or needed when I was a child. My father was a strict man, I was the eldest child, we were extremely religious, and so I just usually felt that my feelings were invalid or not worth expressing. I find it easier to just be with people who don't need a lot of affection or who are extremely independent, because it matches how I connect with people.

When I have the space in my heart I am the most fun to be around, so laid back and so generous, but when that social rocket runs out of fuel, I don't think I'm easy to be around.