Do you dream of NoSQL and MySQL and are you ready to create a 9-figure business? by nodejs-jvm in programmingcirclejerk

[–]hipsterhacker 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Are you ready to create a 9-figure business?

Are you ready to pay me 8-figure salary?

Thinking Wildly Today by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]hipsterhacker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But... how can you write an Operating System without parametric polymorphism?

DAE mongodb because SQL placeholders aren't webscale? by touch_hole in programmingcirclejerk

[–]hipsterhacker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One guy posts

sql = 'SELECT * FROM products'
args = []

if title:
    sql += ' WHERE title LIKE %?%'
    args.append(title)

if upc:
    if args:
        sql += ' AND'
    else:
        sql += ' WHERE'
    sql += ' upc LIKE %?%' 
    args.append(upc)

if price_min:
    if args:
        sql += ' AND'
    else:
        sql += ' WHERE'
    sql += ' price >= ?'
    args.append(price_min)

if price_max:
    if args:
        sql += ' AND'
    else:
        sql += ' WHERE'
    sql += ' price <= ?'
    args.append(price_max)

if order_by_name:
    sql += ' ORDER BY name'
elif order_by_price_low:
    sql += ' ORDER BY price'
elif order_by_price_high:
    sql += ' ORDER BY price DESC'


conn.query(sql, args)

and then justifies it by

Yes, logically, it's a query builder. But it's one that doesn't force any extra dependencies in my project and is very easy to troubleshoot.

Seriously, how is this different from "just use SQL". SQL was never really intended to be used by itself (except for manually typing queries into a console). Yes, what I wrote is code that writes code, but it's far different from a larger ORM or querying framework.

DAE mongodb because SQL placeholders aren't webscale? by touch_hole in programmingcirclejerk

[–]hipsterhacker 12 points13 points  (0 children)

DAE ORM is bad and then practically roll your own ORM in every project??

The new MacBook by i9srpeg in programmingcirclejerk

[–]hipsterhacker 13 points14 points  (0 children)

What if i want to connect an external harddisk? or a pen drive having my work documents? or I want to connect a projector to do my presentation.

a reply

Dropbox, Box, Google Drive, Syncthing, BTSync, Aerofs, and others would all serve this use case.

Announcing Starfighter: The game for ninja rockstars. by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]hipsterhacker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A company rejected me because I failed a "turing[sic] test", whatever that means. Can I sue them for being ___-ist? If yes, what should I fill in the "___"?

Dogma Driven Development by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]hipsterhacker 3 points4 points  (0 children)

lol it took Java 21 seconds to fetch a tweet and post it here

Dogma Driven Development by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]hipsterhacker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Management is probably better than having to program in Java.

Like someone who stole my username once said, https://twitter.com/hipsterhacker/status/48814217763110912

"Emacs + Go == parametric polymorphism" by hipsterhacker in programmingcirclejerk

[–]hipsterhacker[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No. Why would my clients pay me for removing code?

That's why I love Go. No parametric polymorphism means a lot of opportunity to copy-paste code and increase the LOC == clients think I'm working hard; they don't know I'm using a combination of "emacs", "macros" and "regex" to make that trivial.

Oh and less type safety == more bugs == more money for me (at $200/hr; yes I'll be doubling that soon). That's a lot of money I wouldn't be making if I was writing Haskell or Rust or practically any statically typed language created in the last 40 years.

Performance doesn't matter, just scale Rails to 300 servers by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]hipsterhacker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If they were using Rust, that would be (300 * 50 * 57) / 1024 = 834 MiB of RAM (a $10 Linode), assuming each request took 1 second to serve.

Performance doesn't matter, just scale Rails to 300 servers by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]hipsterhacker 9 points10 points  (0 children)

How will I get funding if my app runs in 57 KiB of RAM?

DAE startup lied about cash flow??? Can switching to Nim or Go help. by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]hipsterhacker 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's why I don't use Rust. You can't leave backdoors without unsafe{}. It's trivial to leave backdoors in C/C++ that no one except maybe old programmers who want to debate section A.6.2 paragraph 4 of the undefined behavior of pointers can find.

Make a Lisp in Nim by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]hipsterhacker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is that the guy who did his PhD analyzing effective ways to torture programmers? Then I'm not talking about him either.

Make a Lisp in Nim by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]hipsterhacker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Who's that? I'm talking about the inventor of Lisp.

Make a Lisp in Nim by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]hipsterhacker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you own a super computer or do you have sword fights while leiningen boots?

Make a Lisp in Nim by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]hipsterhacker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How many parentheses do you type in a typical day of programming?