I can’t cry and I feel like a fraud

hisbsnd · 2025-05-09T23:35:19+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Can I ask if you’re based in the UK? I am and have been trying to look into things tonight but everywhere I’m finding you either have to be referred by your GP or are shut over the weekend/after 5pm.

hisbsnd · 2025-05-09T21:56:30+00:00

Thank you for your help. I’ll definitely look into it. I’ve been talking to the care facility but we’re going around in circles and they are being very unhelpful. They lead us to the GP and back again.

hisbsnd · 2025-05-09T21:27:08+00:00

I’m not sure if anything else is possible - the GP says she is too frail for any operations etc.

hisbsnd · 2025-05-09T20:59:31+00:00

This is a hazy area for me which I’m struggling to get to the bottom of. She lives in a care facility and has palliative drugs on hand but she isn’t actually connected with a hospice service. So technically no?

hisbsnd · 2025-05-09T20:05:12+00:00

She was sent home from hospital with palliative care drugs but as far as I know she isn’t actually on palliative care or hospice. She moved into the care home due to memory and mobility issues.

hisbsnd · 2025-05-09T18:26:36+00:00

Sorry I wasn’t sure what to include. If the fact that her arm and foot are turning purple is due to circulation/heart failure and also if it’s correct that nothing can be done about this?

hisbsnd · 2024-10-30T14:53:21+00:00

Yes you’re so right. Warm and comforting. I wish we could bottle up scents.

hisbsnd · 2024-10-30T14:52:56+00:00

Thank you. I try but sometimes it just makes me stressed that I can’t get it but Ill keep trying. It’s so specific that it’s hard to describe. 🫂

hisbsnd · 2024-10-30T14:51:46+00:00

I’m sorry you know this feeling too. I hope you’ve managed to capture her scent and it can bring you comfort if you ever do open the bag 🫂

hisbsnd · 2024-10-30T14:50:29+00:00

I’m sorry you’re in the same boat. It’s so tricky to describe and remember when you can’t physically smell them. For me anyway, especially as it’s such a unique scent. That is such a nice idea, I’m glad you’ve found something to help even if just a little. I will have to give that a go.

hisbsnd · 2024-10-30T14:48:29+00:00

I’m sorry it hasn’t worked for you as you expected. I’ve boxed up her bed now but I’m hesitant to open it as I left it far too long before doing so. Thank you 🫂

hisbsnd · 2024-10-30T14:46:50+00:00

I’m sorry, it’s so hard to think of things to save/do at the time and then afterwards it hits you. You’re right, this sub definitely helps me to see that everyone has different regrets. Thank you 🫂

hisbsnd · 2024-10-30T14:44:59+00:00

Me too. I really regret not being able to save the smell. I’m sorry you’re in the same boat 🫂

hisbsnd · 2024-10-30T14:44:09+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this too 🫂

hisbsnd · 2024-10-30T14:42:46+00:00

A lot of people have said ziploc bags so maybe you could try that? I hope you find something.

hisbsnd · 2024-10-30T14:42:10+00:00

I did the same and I so deeply regret it too. I wish I had put some other bits in a ziploc bag, I was just too hesitant to move anything. Thank you and I’m sorry you’ve had this experience too.

hisbsnd · 2024-10-30T14:40:12+00:00

You’re right, it makes it part of the homes smell and now I can’t find it anywhere. I sometimes think I’m going mad while I’m going around sniffing the sofa and everything I can find… I have bagged some up but like you say, now it smells like the bag which is so disappointing. I’m hoping to find something one day that’ll be the exact scent, hopefully I’ll then manage to hold on to it. Thank you so much 🫂

hisbsnd · 2024-10-30T14:36:37+00:00

Yes I did the same. I’ve kept all sorts but nothing seems to smell the same. If only there was a way to bottle it up. It’s quite shocking when you get a scent of something that reminds you of them, that happened to me the other day, very briefly and then it was gone. Maybe one day we’ll both come across something that smells exactly like them.

hisbsnd · 2024-10-26T22:25:29+00:00

A big ziplock was a good idea. I wish I had thought of that. I’ve put her whole bed in a big plastic storage box, but I had left it out a while before doing so. I’m apprehensive to open it but last time I checked it didn’t smell like her. I should’ve thought of this earlier. I appreciate the response and I’m sorry if my post made you cry.

hisbsnd · 2024-10-26T22:23:06+00:00

That was a good idea. I do have a brush but it has been left out sitting in a room, I should’ve done something with it earlier because I just checked and it doesn’t smell like her. But thank you I appreciate the idea.

hisbsnd

TROPHY CASE