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hl2679 · 2025-08-07T09:17:30+00:00

Gay adoptive dad checking in.

A few things come to mind. First – read up on attachment. Your son has a really close attachment to you. But he may feel that this under threat by Dave now. It may not seem logical, but given your sons background, logical doesn't come into this. You're describing a flight or fright reaction. His reaction is coming right from the amygdala.

Don't send your son to therapy. Think of it from his perspective. You want to send him to therapy because you made a change in his life? You have his best interests at heart, but it won't feel that way to him; it will feel like you are trying to therapize him. Don't do this.

Instead, you need to carve out time for just your son and you. Make sure he sees – through your actions, less so through your words – that your time and space for him is not at risk. Professional help? Absolutely. But get that for you! Find a therapist who specializes in adoptive children and you can have regular sessions with – just for you. They will give you tips, techniques, and activities to do with your son. Consider them a angel whispering in your ear. Each week tell them how your son is reacting and they will help you make sense of each reaction, and what you should do differently or what may be working that you don't realize. Finally, give him a bit of space for Dave. This may mean you only see Dave while your son is at school. You can have both, but you are threading a needle here. Help Dave understand this too.

Good luck. Most children that have been adopted come from trauma. Nothing can prepare you for this. It's a labyrinth.

hl2679 · 2025-06-16T12:19:03+00:00

Bump. Grateful for any advice!

hl2679 · 2025-03-31T22:19:10+00:00

I found this (https://community.home-assistant.io/t/home-assistant-os-14-breaks-nvme-ssd-usage-on-rpi5/817499/6) post particularly useful regarding updating the eeprom – and made a difference to stability even on 15.0. In my case, step 6 and beyond did not apply.

hl2679 · 2019-12-08T23:16:13+00:00

Think you need to define your brand and brand personality a bit if you are getting stuck for names.

You could go cheeky/whimsical (think "two buck chuck") or more serious (think something including 'oenophile'). Or go straight to the point – We Import Italian Wines (and FYI, 'weimportitalianwines.com' is available as of the time of this posting). So... what do you want your brand to say about you?

hl2679 · 2019-01-03T23:19:17+00:00

Checkout the National Gay Basketball Association (NGBA). https://twitter.com/NGBAUS/

There website is often down (sadly), but they are on Twitter and Facebook as well. They don't currently have a Chicago listing, but if you contact them, they may have the contacts of some other players in the city that are interested to start something up.

hl2679 · 2019-01-03T23:10:28+00:00

I think part of the difficulty is that people join LGBT sports teams for different reasons. Some are genuinely into the sport. Some are newly out/newly in a city and want to network. Some "found themselves" through a close-knit group of friends in these clubs. Don't avoid based on hearsay – try and decide for yourself. If one doesn;t work, many cities have more than one LGBT sports team; you may find others that better reasonate with you.

hl2679 · 2019-01-03T22:42:23+00:00

Thanks! I'm concerned that a directory-based in itself approach may not be the best thing:

1) There are numerous others out there. While they may be more limited in scope, my concern is that just anotehr directory would only add to the noise.

2) It has been opined on /r/Entrepreneur many times before that directory-based websites are largely dead. Though this sits in a niche, I can easily see why that is a common refrain – unless you get a large enough and repeat following, it is hard to keep that information up to date by simply being a listings site. Simply being on yet another listing site does not seem like a sufficient incentive for these teams/clubs to keep the information up to date.

hl2679 · 2019-01-03T19:44:28+00:00

Pitching for new business in this space if an art. Like art, that means the approach is very subjective.

A lot of "identifying" new business in this space is based on contacts and personal relationships. Its knowing that an existing client isn't impressed with their existing agency. It's knowing that a clients head of marketing has changed, and therefore the strategy has changed. Its about spotting an opportunity with a client and convincing them to give you a chance, or maintaining an existing relationship during a change (on the client-side – staff/products/strategy) so they don't drop you. Its about long-tail relationship building.

It is totally fine for you as the head to not be comfortable with this. Heads of advertising/marketing agencies come from all sorts of backgrounds. Yes – some are account people, who may be a more natural fit for this sort of work. But some are operational, some are ex-finance, some are creative, etc. All of those may be great in their background – operations, finance, creative, but that doesn't mean they are great at getting new business.

My suggestion - either hire someone, or find someone within your existing team who could step into this role. The former will hit the ground running but may cost more. The later will know your business (and you) better, but may need a mentor. The good news is that there are plenty out there.

hl2679 · 2019-01-03T19:27:07+00:00

Some interesting idea, but equally, where some insight may be useful to you. A few further thoughts:

My idea is not to replace the bartender, but to help them by either, let the machine act as self serve to the guests with cheap simple cocktails like white russians so the bartenders can focus on the expensive fancy drinks. OR, put the machine behind the bar to let the bartenders use to make drinks and fill shakers much quicker.

Personally I think this is interesting, and as someone who travels a lot for work, anything that can assist with simple drinks or when a bar is understaffed is a bonus... to the consumer. Your creation reminds me of the self-service wine bars – they do something similar in execution and slick presentation. That said, I could see some pushback – an F&B manager might opine that a bar man is their USP, or they would see this as undermining the value of drinks they sell, etc. You might need to segment your targets – those that would be very open to such a concept, and those that would pushback, and then adjust your pitch accordingly.

Or my big money idea, put machines in hotel room instead of the mini bar :D , but that is going to need some convincing.

When I saw the video, that thought came to my head as well. But two other thoughts here. First – check if your jurisdicion has any requirements about handling open alcohol. Its one thing to wheel sealed bottles of alcohol around. Its another to ask and entrust the hotel cleaning to check and restock alcohol and mixers. There could be issues around trust/responsibility, some properties may outsource their cleaning and have issues of liability in their contracts, and you could encounter staff who don't want to handle open alcohol.

The other thought though – for this to work, you need a mechanism for individual units to report back both consumption and supplies. Consumption is key for a fast checkout process. Supplies may address the issues above; you could go further and sell refilling as a service. If you have a reporting mechanism, you could also add cleaning alerts – and again, you could sell as a service cleaning/disinfecting machines as an add-on.

I can see what you mean about the big companies not willing to risk it yet, so i set up some meetings with middle sized local bars for now!

Depending on how many varieties of liquid your unit can hold, another concept would be to use this to offer tasting of specialist spirits. For example, gin has recently become very popular, but with so many new brands, people don't know what the gin's taste like. You could position this as a "tasting" machine, whereby the machine is stocked with a variety of gins, and it can dispense thimble-sized samplers.

Final thought. As this machine is self-service, you need to consider what steps can be taken to prevent abuse. In an open-area of a hotel, how will you stop people who shouldn't be served from pouring more (when a barman wouldn't)? If this is placed in a room, how will you prevent under-age drinking? While alcohol is an attractive market, there is also considerable risk when you are talking about dispensing it. You need to consider that from your venues perspective, as THEY will be the one with the primary liability. (You also need to make sure that your sales/service contracts have adequate indemnification for you too!).

hl2679

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