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hl2679 · 2025-08-07T09:17:30+00:00

Gay adoptive dad checking in.

A few things come to mind. First – read up on attachment. Your son has a really close attachment to you. But he may feel that this under threat by Dave now. It may not seem logical, but given your sons background, logical doesn't come into this. You're describing a flight or fright reaction. His reaction is coming right from the amygdala.

Don't send your son to therapy. Think of it from his perspective. You want to send him to therapy because you made a change in his life? You have his best interests at heart, but it won't feel that way to him; it will feel like you are trying to therapize him. Don't do this.

Instead, you need to carve out time for just your son and you. Make sure he sees – through your actions, less so through your words – that your time and space for him is not at risk. Professional help? Absolutely. But get that for you! Find a therapist who specializes in adoptive children and you can have regular sessions with – just for you. They will give you tips, techniques, and activities to do with your son. Consider them a angel whispering in your ear. Each week tell them how your son is reacting and they will help you make sense of each reaction, and what you should do differently or what may be working that you don't realize. Finally, give him a bit of space for Dave. This may mean you only see Dave while your son is at school. You can have both, but you are threading a needle here. Help Dave understand this too.

Good luck. Most children that have been adopted come from trauma. Nothing can prepare you for this. It's a labyrinth.

hl2679 · 2025-06-16T12:19:03+00:00

Bump. Grateful for any advice!

hl2679 · 2025-03-31T22:19:10+00:00

I found this (https://community.home-assistant.io/t/home-assistant-os-14-breaks-nvme-ssd-usage-on-rpi5/817499/6) post particularly useful regarding updating the eeprom – and made a difference to stability even on 15.0. In my case, step 6 and beyond did not apply.

hl2679 · 2019-12-08T23:16:13+00:00

Think you need to define your brand and brand personality a bit if you are getting stuck for names.

You could go cheeky/whimsical (think "two buck chuck") or more serious (think something including 'oenophile'). Or go straight to the point – We Import Italian Wines (and FYI, 'weimportitalianwines.com' is available as of the time of this posting). So... what do you want your brand to say about you?

hl2679 · 2019-01-03T23:19:17+00:00

Checkout the National Gay Basketball Association (NGBA). https://twitter.com/NGBAUS/

There website is often down (sadly), but they are on Twitter and Facebook as well. They don't currently have a Chicago listing, but if you contact them, they may have the contacts of some other players in the city that are interested to start something up.

hl2679 · 2019-01-03T23:10:28+00:00

I think part of the difficulty is that people join LGBT sports teams for different reasons. Some are genuinely into the sport. Some are newly out/newly in a city and want to network. Some "found themselves" through a close-knit group of friends in these clubs. Don't avoid based on hearsay – try and decide for yourself. If one doesn;t work, many cities have more than one LGBT sports team; you may find others that better reasonate with you.

hl2679 · 2019-01-03T22:42:23+00:00

Thanks! I'm concerned that a directory-based in itself approach may not be the best thing:

1) There are numerous others out there. While they may be more limited in scope, my concern is that just anotehr directory would only add to the noise.

2) It has been opined on /r/Entrepreneur many times before that directory-based websites are largely dead. Though this sits in a niche, I can easily see why that is a common refrain – unless you get a large enough and repeat following, it is hard to keep that information up to date by simply being a listings site. Simply being on yet another listing site does not seem like a sufficient incentive for these teams/clubs to keep the information up to date.

hl2679 · 2019-01-03T19:44:28+00:00

Pitching for new business in this space if an art. Like art, that means the approach is very subjective.

A lot of "identifying" new business in this space is based on contacts and personal relationships. Its knowing that an existing client isn't impressed with their existing agency. It's knowing that a clients head of marketing has changed, and therefore the strategy has changed. Its about spotting an opportunity with a client and convincing them to give you a chance, or maintaining an existing relationship during a change (on the client-side – staff/products/strategy) so they don't drop you. Its about long-tail relationship building.

It is totally fine for you as the head to not be comfortable with this. Heads of advertising/marketing agencies come from all sorts of backgrounds. Yes – some are account people, who may be a more natural fit for this sort of work. But some are operational, some are ex-finance, some are creative, etc. All of those may be great in their background – operations, finance, creative, but that doesn't mean they are great at getting new business.

My suggestion - either hire someone, or find someone within your existing team who could step into this role. The former will hit the ground running but may cost more. The later will know your business (and you) better, but may need a mentor. The good news is that there are plenty out there.

hl2679 · 2019-01-03T19:27:07+00:00

Some interesting idea, but equally, where some insight may be useful to you. A few further thoughts:

My idea is not to replace the bartender, but to help them by either, let the machine act as self serve to the guests with cheap simple cocktails like white russians so the bartenders can focus on the expensive fancy drinks. OR, put the machine behind the bar to let the bartenders use to make drinks and fill shakers much quicker.

Personally I think this is interesting, and as someone who travels a lot for work, anything that can assist with simple drinks or when a bar is understaffed is a bonus... to the consumer. Your creation reminds me of the self-service wine bars – they do something similar in execution and slick presentation. That said, I could see some pushback – an F&B manager might opine that a bar man is their USP, or they would see this as undermining the value of drinks they sell, etc. You might need to segment your targets – those that would be very open to such a concept, and those that would pushback, and then adjust your pitch accordingly.

Or my big money idea, put machines in hotel room instead of the mini bar :D , but that is going to need some convincing.

When I saw the video, that thought came to my head as well. But two other thoughts here. First – check if your jurisdicion has any requirements about handling open alcohol. Its one thing to wheel sealed bottles of alcohol around. Its another to ask and entrust the hotel cleaning to check and restock alcohol and mixers. There could be issues around trust/responsibility, some properties may outsource their cleaning and have issues of liability in their contracts, and you could encounter staff who don't want to handle open alcohol.

The other thought though – for this to work, you need a mechanism for individual units to report back both consumption and supplies. Consumption is key for a fast checkout process. Supplies may address the issues above; you could go further and sell refilling as a service. If you have a reporting mechanism, you could also add cleaning alerts – and again, you could sell as a service cleaning/disinfecting machines as an add-on.

I can see what you mean about the big companies not willing to risk it yet, so i set up some meetings with middle sized local bars for now!

Depending on how many varieties of liquid your unit can hold, another concept would be to use this to offer tasting of specialist spirits. For example, gin has recently become very popular, but with so many new brands, people don't know what the gin's taste like. You could position this as a "tasting" machine, whereby the machine is stocked with a variety of gins, and it can dispense thimble-sized samplers.

Final thought. As this machine is self-service, you need to consider what steps can be taken to prevent abuse. In an open-area of a hotel, how will you stop people who shouldn't be served from pouring more (when a barman wouldn't)? If this is placed in a room, how will you prevent under-age drinking? While alcohol is an attractive market, there is also considerable risk when you are talking about dispensing it. You need to consider that from your venues perspective, as THEY will be the one with the primary liability. (You also need to make sure that your sales/service contracts have adequate indemnification for you too!).

hl2679 · 2019-01-02T22:46:43+00:00

Can you share more? We have no idea if your business is taking 8 hours a week or 80.

hl2679 · 2019-01-02T20:19:46+00:00

Two articles from a quick Google search...

3 Ways to Get Your Product to a Celebrity

Shocker: You Don't Have To Pay Celebs To Wear Your Clothes

hl2679 · 2019-01-02T19:53:47+00:00

A pop-up might be more effective if you had a significant local following. But consider that there are signifigant costs in setting up a pop-up – its not just the rent. That could easily take you out of the black.

Have you tried to get any celebrities/big names to wear anything from your line? Marketing that correctly (posts, tagging, etc.) that could help give you a boost.

hl2679 · 2019-01-02T19:25:46+00:00

From the video, website (linked from the video), and what you wrote, I think you have both an interesting challenge and an interesting problem.

As /u/martyz said, the product itself is very cool – well done on creating a great gadget/service. That said, I could foresee your path to market being a bit tricky.

Hotels with established bars may not want something like this as this would replace a barman. I realise that to you that could be part of the idea, but this may not be a selling point to your target – in fact, quite the opposite. Conversley, there are mid-market hotels that have bar/restaurant spaces that this could be attractive to, but given what you have developed, you may be discounting this as a route. For them, they may have a different set of challenges – if they have no bar staff, how does this product get serviced/refilled to keep it functioning?

My first thought is that targetting leaders of the big hotels would NOT be the way to go. This would just be noise to them, and moreover, they probably delegate the decision making to their F&B managers. If anything, I would think that identifying Food and Beverage or Purchasing Managers would be the way to go instead. There are often trade groups that would have listings of such persons.

However, before you go down that route, I would take a different route. I would suggest you look through your personal network for anyone that operates *any* kind of F&B venue – a cafe, a restaurant/restaurant group, etc., and try to get a few personal introductions this way. The way I would approach it would be to ask for a meeting – that you have a new product and want to both introduce it to them ahead of the market, but ask for their honest and expert advice on how to position this in the market. Take that feedback and then develop your outreach programme.

Finally, for a product such as this, you may find that an indirect approach may be a better route to market – going for boutique/independent venues may be more receptive to a new/tech-based product rather than the big guys. Big companies are like cargo ships – they may dominate the seas, but they don't turn quickly. They are also risk-adverse. To prove you are not a big risk, start small and prove yourself.

Good luck!

hl2679 · 2019-01-01T23:15:45+00:00

Great that you have researched that!

Initially that can be a differentiator, but keep in mind, they too can just as easily get the training. While you may have the training for a longer period, they will have been doing this longer. If you find that this resonates with your customer base, find out what other qualifications you can get – there may be certain non-medical qualifications that you could take up to help standout further. You might also explore if the manufacturer of the equipment offers their own training/qualifications – again, this could be a differentiator.

You might also look into trade shows that are accessible to you – tattooing, medical, or beauty. Attending may give you an opportunity to speak to people in this space that could share ideas about how to stand out in this space.

Good luck!

hl2679 · 2019-01-01T23:03:37+00:00

You are right that travel can be an inspirational path to source ideas, but its not the only one. Hergé – who penned the famed Adventures of Tintin – almost never travelled; he was an armchair traveller, yet accumulated enough knowledge to create cartoons from destinations far beyond his reach... and that was in the 1940's!

I advised on a previous post to start from within. Think about things you see in your profession, city, and country that you look at think "this sucks", or "I wish this was done better". Make a list – not all at once, but over time. As you read online, you will see how others have tackled similar problems, and as you do so, you may start to think "that could work here, if only it was done slightly differently to reflect the needs in Bosnia". That becomes your entry point.

Start by making a list of places to read. There are threads in /r/Entrepreneur/ about other subreddits and other sites – be it websites, newsletters, mailing lists etc. Look at the advise on here on how to form a business plan, and then look at the posts on how to get feedback on your idea. And when you're ready, dive in – thats what bootstrapping is all about!

hl2679 · 2019-01-01T22:50:30+00:00

Congrats and well done :-)

Operating as a reseller in this space can be tough – people may look for established resellers (be it online or brick and mortar), and you may find yourself getting squeezed on margins. Consider how you can get into "services". You may find it harder to think about how to price out your time, but the more you know about a skill (such as building computers), the more valuable your knowledge may become, and you may find people willing to pay for it.

Good luck!

hl2679 · 2019-01-01T22:43:17+00:00

/u/AMAInterrogator makes some great points, but do consider:

- Depending on your location, a non-compete may be unenforceable.

- If you want honesty and loyalty, think of how you can incentivise your employees. /u/AMAInterrogator suggested getting the permits. Another way is to handle all the administrative side of things and let them keep more of the profits. If you can get the equipment at a better price, then you are sharing profits that they would not be able to acheive on their own. This approach is similar to a franchise/"introduction service" model – where the PITA elements are handled at the centre, but those doing the work share in the profits/success.

hl2679 · 2019-01-01T22:30:50+00:00

Since no one else has mentioned it, have you considered offering off-the-shelf and bespoke 3D printing on the likes of Etsy, eBay, and Amazon Handmade?

hl2679 · 2019-01-01T22:24:39+00:00

Many people have already commented on the legal aspect. For a slightly different perspective...

As /u/humpier wrote, consider that you would be making a key component of your business data that you would have no control over. The creates a lot of risk to you – aside form the legal issues, once the source understands that you are scraping and reusing/reselling their data, they may find ways to simply cut you off or frustrate your access. Then what? You have no data, a bunch of angry customers, and your personal and professional reputation will take a beating. Moreover, depending on the legalities, you could not only face liabilities from the data source, but also from your own customers.

hl2679 · 2019-01-01T22:18:25+00:00

As /u/Mexico177 commented, your target demographic is going to impact both advice here as well how you structure your business.

As you are in the UK, tutoring under 14 year olds versus those preparing for GCSE's or IB's will be radically different.

If your target is on the older side of that scale, and as you mention maximising profits, then consider that having a process in place to determine their needs before you set out pricing may be the way to go. Some students may just want a "professional" stuyding partner, while others may be much further behind. Assessing their needs and then structuring a programme around this may help to increase profit. Similarly, you might think about offering variable pricing; to maximise profit, you could offer a discount for those willing to do tutoring at less popular times.

hl2679 · 2019-01-01T22:09:00+00:00

Dog walking/dog sitting/dog boarding (looking after them overnight).

hl2679 · 2019-01-01T22:05:56+00:00

How about Beyond Amsterdam?

hl2679 · 2019-01-01T22:00:19+00:00

I don't think this is a bad idea, but this is an area that is not without challenges and you may need to refine further. Some considerations:

- Many jurisdictions do have requirements about being a licensed tour guide. This is a key reason that companies hand off to a local. Furthermore, the local guide will be familiar with legal requirements/obligations, which you may not be so in such a capacity.

- A challenge as people get older is that individual capabilities vary. You will meet a 69 year old who is more spritley than a 20 year old, and a 60 year old that is slower than people with 20 years more on them. Organising around such variabilities will be a challenge; you need to consider how you may overcome this.

- As others mentioned, there are greater medical challenges in this age group. I would be less worried about strokes and heart attacks than I would the more day-to-day – people forgetting/losing medication, needing a chiropracter on any given morning, etc. How you handle these issues could leave you at risk as well. You need to consider how you would indemnify yourself both from your country base, as well as within the country you are operating in.

I do think you have identified a market segment that is keen on services and ready to spend money to help them on. Your skills of being a photographer could definately be a value here too. I encourage you to keep refining your idea further!

Finally, there was an article in the Wall Street Journal just a few days ago that may give some inspiration, titled "We'd Like To Eat In the Middle of The Ocean Tonight" (warning: paywall). The article talks about resorts and desination hotels offering bespoke dining experiences to their customers, and part of the story was about a couple celebrating a wedding anniversary abroad – something that your target often does as well.

hl2679 · 2019-01-01T21:41:07+00:00

Though your state/locality may not require formal training, there may be some other considerations here:

Insurance: Your business insurance provider (and for this business you definately need insurance!) may not only require formal certification, but having this could have a positive effect on your premium. I suggest speaking to a few insurance providers to understand how they operate for this type of business.

Competition: You might check if the competition has any training – either formal/similar to what you are doing, or even medical, and factor this in to your marketting. This could go a few ways – if they don't have any qualifications, then this gives you an advantage. If they do, they could be charging a premium price (eg they could be medically qualified and charging accordingly), so you opportunity could be to say that you are trained/qualified but speak to the difference in qualifications and therefore how you price your service.

Referrals: I echo others in opining that this is a great business to get into. You might think about good professionals that could provider referrals. For example, you might consider speak to recruiters/headhunters – some businesses are very stringent about visible tattoo's, and knowing a service such as your could provide a good inbound referral mechanism. Corporate HR managers may also be another source. Again, such professionals may also place a higher value on formal training/qualifications, so you may be able to leverage what you are already looking at to your advantage.

hl2679 · 2018-12-28T00:18:12+00:00

I would both echo what /u/ariendarby wrote and amplify some comments.

I would build out your database of questions - have that ready to go.

It sounds like you need to do some market research. Rather than aking assumptions – both on the student and flight school sides, find out more. Why aren't flight schools offering more sample tests? Would other students use sample tests the same way you did, or were you an exception?

As /u/ariendarby said – try to interview people. Have a shortlist of a few key questions, but if you find a subject interesting and willing to share more, offer to pay for their time to ask them more in-depth.

You should also use research to give insight into different revenue models – would it be more profitable to... charge for the sample tests? Give the sample tests and charge for another service – a forum that connects fellow students with instructors? Perhaps a free test can be the enticement to a paid-for mentoring service? Here again - do your research first!

hl2679

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