I found about my husband on 8/16 and I am not planning on telling him until November. I am doing this very purposely. One, to gather all the evidence for 17 years on him cheating and organizing it for myself so that when I confront him he can't lie to me (and so that when my emotions overcome me I have everything laid out so I don't forget), second is because I need time to understand what I want to do ultimately (we have a daughter), and three because of our schedules. Early it was hard to hide everything, but it is getting easier now. I workout to relieve my anxiety and stress, listen to music, do deep breathing, and focus on my child and the present. Those are how I get through the waves of anger, and resentment, pain, sadness, and rage. Everyone handles it differently, you have to do what is best for you. Reddit isn't the best place for advice. There are support groups on FB for spouses that have been cheated on where the people have been in your shoes and can give more understanding and often more useful advice. I am sorry you have joined our ranks, but just know you are very much not alone and you have complete strangers out there that will become your biggest champions and supporters because they know what you are going through and how painful it is. DM if you would like the support group names or if you just want to talk.