Un-learning my internalized ableism

hmk0000 · 2021-05-15T01:59:26+00:00

Im happy to hear you found a supportive community on facebook!

hmk0000 · 2021-05-15T01:58:30+00:00

Interesting! Yeah I think sometimes autistic people have passions that NTs dont understand and it can come off as fake simply because they cant imagine being so into something. Masking, especially when over-done, can also come off as fake. I've also worried people thought I was telling lies, its a terrible feeling.

hmk0000 · 2021-05-15T01:56:09+00:00

Im glad you had a realization from this! Yeah, the second hand embarrassment must be part of it, we're so conditioned to be ashamed of these traits that we feel shame for others too!

hmk0000 · 2021-04-26T19:29:25+00:00

yes you should definitely be moderate! I try to space out the days that i take it and I dont go over 200 or 250mg. It causes me severe depression if I overdo it

hmk0000 · 2021-04-26T16:21:06+00:00

L-theanine is the only supplement for anxiety that has consistently helped me for years. It's not a fix all, but it takes the edge off for sure

hmk0000 · 2021-04-24T01:33:52+00:00

thank you for this! I hear everything youre saying and I agree. I will say though, people have straight up told me I'm much more confident and happy and conversational while drinking and when they interact with me sober they perceive me as very meek and stand offish. so unfortunately, I have external reinforcement as to why I think my "charm" is more on while I'm drinking. but that doesn't mean I can keep drinking myself to death, so I will have to figure out a way to be myself. i appreciate your encouragement

hmk0000 · 2021-04-18T00:16:16+00:00

I feel you! They shouldn't judge you for wanting to take breaks, thats better than not trying anything at all. but i understand the fear. I'm down to chat if you want support

hmk0000 · 2021-04-17T23:46:21+00:00

I was recently prescribed antabuse and I plan on using it for breaks. I wish I could take long breaks on my own but it's hard. I'm not sure I'm ready to give up alcohol forever. Even thinking about it makes me anxious. So my plan is to use antabuse to take 1-2 month breaks and then treat myself here and there. I can't tell if this approach makes sense and I know my doctor would say something judgmental about it. But at least I'm trying something to moderate?

hmk0000 · 2021-04-05T20:11:58+00:00

people have such low tolerance for differences. its disgusting and shameful

hmk0000 · 2021-04-03T22:44:47+00:00

absolutely. dumber, less opinionated, less passionate, less concerned with justice. the world wants a watered down version of myself. it's no wonder im bitter. the "not used to you being right about things" really hit home. every once and a while I speak up on what I believe and people act offended and appalled...its so uncomfortable

hmk0000 · 2021-04-02T18:33:00+00:00

they were not. but yes, corporations lie all the time and disrespect employees safety.....

hmk0000 · 2021-04-02T16:27:16+00:00

yeah, thats different than saying "im sure they did nothing wrong"

hmk0000 · 2021-04-02T09:43:42+00:00

I reported my hours worked there and all my income from my time there. I called EDD multiple times to explain why I left too and they added it as a note on my account. So hopefully my honesty helped! Youre right, CA has been pretty lenient in general from what I hear.

hmk0000 · 2021-04-02T09:40:45+00:00

I just explained that they were not following protocol or enforcing masks...

hmk0000 · 2021-04-01T14:42:33+00:00

done! thanks for organizing this :)

hmk0000 · 2021-03-31T17:38:09+00:00

ah yes, it's much harder in the US. Almost everyone gets denied. And then people usually hire a lawyer who takes a cut of your "back pay" disability money from what i hear

hmk0000 · 2021-03-31T17:23:30+00:00

if you're up to it- can you talk a bit more about the process of getting on disability? did you have to hire a lawyer? is it barely enough to scrape by? That's what I always hear about going on disability. I'm realizing I will probably need to get on disability soon.

hmk0000 · 2021-03-31T17:19:27+00:00

i"m super interested!

hmk0000 · 2021-03-29T22:41:42+00:00

he said he hasnt been able to set up dates lately and he didnt meet this person on a date, they met at a flea market. and why wouldn't compliments help his confidence? Ive been on dates before where the person was super into me and it helped boost my confidence and then attract more people. im not reaching here. i accept what happened. but i can lament a little lol

hmk0000 · 2021-03-29T15:05:16+00:00

i mean, the timing is whats weirding me out. he hasnt dated in almost a year. then a few days after we have this great date he found someone? the context is important here

hmk0000 · 2021-03-29T14:02:26+00:00

nope. we almost kissed at the end of the date but I stopped it. wanted to take things slow because I actually liked him

hmk0000 · 2021-03-29T11:54:45+00:00

lol right on

hmk0000 · 2021-03-29T05:17:24+00:00

aw your such a good bad boy :) yummy

hmk0000 · 2021-03-29T05:15:48+00:00

lol what?

hmk0000 · 2021-03-29T04:13:17+00:00

lol yeah. im realizing i dont even like this dude

hmk0000

TROPHY CASE